Simon needs to step up and make some compromises – can’t hog all Saturdays for rides with mates and expect wife to look after your kids. Saturday needs a 50/50 split or, even better, make them family rides rather than with mates and include the kids in it. If kids are young then Mac Rides / Kids Ride Shotgun, if they’re older then tow ropes until they start smoking you on the climbs (at which point ebike for mum and dad). Simon’s being a twonk if he reckons it’s fair and appropriate to bugger off every Saturday with his mates, IMO.

Some similarities with our situation although hopefully I’m not behaving like a twonk. Weekday evening ride with mates is the main extent of my MTBing at the moment, with a fair bit of early morning solo gravel rides – fit it around the kids and Mrs a11y’s own interests, a healthy balance. Weekends are family rides with the kids, hopefully nurturing them for a future when they’ll still not be embarassed to ride with their mum and dad.

Weekend away days with mates – and ideally family – will come again.

agghhh. I’ve gone off Rebecca and Simon. They have nice bikes, a family, can ride during the week. If there was an issue or problem here it would be a 1st world problems… that they didn’t need to share.

Can we have a voting option of “shut the **** up”?

100% this!

*yes, I am very envious

I’ve read it but am struggling to give a shit. Both seem to get out riding and have kids. How the **** are they managing that!!

I’ve read it but am struggling to give a shit. Both seem to get out riding and have kids. How the **** are they managing that!!

I am intrigued by those who *do not* manage to get out.

We had three kids under four years old at one point and still managed to hold some friendships, bike rides and walks without kids for both mrs_oab and I. As soon as they were school age we also managed to get a weekend away leaving other half with the three kids. And of course all 5 of us rode bikes, from old enough to hold up their head in a seat or trailer.
And yes we both worked. And did up a house x2.
When we moved to Scotland, the amount of time outdoors as a family exploded, and the amount of time we as a couple or individually headed outdoors for a ride / run / pint with a friend also increased.

As soon as they were school age we also managed to get a weekend away leaving other half with the three kids.

Wait, are you saying you managed a weekend away with the mistress while leaving the kids with your other half?

I think I understand now how you managed to get so much done.

people who don’t have any family or family close by can struggle to spend time together with young children

I agree. In Sheffield family was 45 miles away. In Scotland, 300 miles away.
Yet still we had great family time, some couple time and some individual time.
It’s difficult, yes, but maybe it’s down to priorities..?

Also, it is OK for it to not be the same as you/it used to be. Life happens, people get older, get wiser, more risk adverse. Just enjoy it for what it is. You don’t ned to be fast or get big air.

This is the response I’ve been mulling over, I think there’s plenty of people I know who once adult life comes along with things like children, a mortgage and career / business to keep on top of, riding down scary stuff stops being scary fun and just becomes scary scary.

Lots of suggestions on this thread feel a bit like they’re suggestions on how to “fix” Rachel so she can get back to riding the sort of things Simon enjoys (both from Simon and posters here). But no one seems to want to ask what Rachel *wants* to do. Perhaps they need to talk through what sort of rides Rachel wants and if she wants to do the sort of riding that’s more about exploring and spending time together (dare I generalise it as gravel riding?), they need to talk about that and plan that sort of ride rather than heading out to find the gnarr that she really doesn’t want to ride down.