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Toilet Etiquette Advice please

38 posts & 32 voices | Started 7 months ago by cynic-al | Latest reply from Elfinsafety

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cynic-al - Member

I've just got the bus to the airport from a visit to cynic-mum. The house will be empty until my sister, her daughter and friend arrive next week.

I did a HUGE unflushable today, was trying to sort it out when the phone rang and after answering that I forgot to finish it off.

My prissy sister will be coming to the mother of all poo-tea's. Do I:
1. Fess up?
2. Say nowt?
3. Email round blaming the last person to stay before me (other sister) saying it wouldn't flush and I wasn't about to roll my sleeves us for someone else?

Posted 7 months ago #
allthepies - Member

The place will stink

Posted 7 months ago #
bikebouy - Member

Westlife in your toilet you say...

Posted 7 months ago #
TuckerUK - Member

3.

or

4. Blame an imaginary friend (not god, a different one) who popped round (pooped round?) while you were there?

Posted 7 months ago #
Taff - Member

I don't know but I'm laughing and my mrs thinks I'm laughing at her now

Posted 7 months ago #
piedi di formaggio - Member

Worse than a Triple Flusher?

Posted 7 months ago #
boblo - Member

Dunno about this time but perhaps you could invent a big carbon spoony/scoopy thing to help bash the next one to death?

Posted 7 months ago #
yossarian - Member

3. Email your sister with 'dirty cow' as the message title. Explain that you tried to cut it into manageable pieces and were nearly sucked into the bowl.

Posted 7 months ago #
deadlydarcy - Member

Post of the week?

Posted 7 months ago #
martinxyz - Member

Lol Boblo.. manufacture a carbon fudge packing tool.

Posted 7 months ago #
martinxyz - Member

Posted 7 months ago #
bigthunder - Member

No easy answer. Just be damn proud. I always extoll the virtues of a strong constitution in circumstances such as these.

Posted 7 months ago #
redthunder - Member

Pooh Stick ?

Posted 7 months ago #
beaker - Member

Be proud of how you created and birthed a dreadnought. Insist that your sister takes a look at it....

Posted 7 months ago #
TuckerUK - Member

Hope you posted it on Rate my Poo?

Posted 7 months ago #
curvature - Member

Rate my poo wtf???? Off to have a look!

You is so wrong!

Posted 7 months ago #
hh45 - Member

what do you eat??

my diet is so fibrous and spicey that I am the pebbledash king and whilst they need brushing they dont cause a blockage.

Posted 7 months ago #
Zulu-Eleven - Member

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTbgsoHDc24

Posted 7 months ago #
stevewhyte - Member

This thread needs to stop now.

Posted 7 months ago #
TuckerUK - Member

Rate my poo wtf???? Off to have a look!

You is so wrong!

Pretty much my thoughts on hearing about it too.

I'm guessing it may be a travelling Aussie/Kiwi thing, because the Aussies and Kiwis I worked with here in the UK many years ago all had shots of their best steaming logs whilst on their travels!

Posted 7 months ago #
Ho hum - Member

TuckerUK - Member
Hope you posted it on Rate my Poo?

Ah, you beat me to it, damn!

However, this thread reminds me about an event that happened over the summer when I laid the perfect jobbie, it really was a piece of art, but I did not have any batteries for my camera, grrrr!

Posted 7 months ago #
samuri - Member

Heh! I remember my girlfriend said she was off out shopping. So I decided to take a dump while she was gone.

After half an hour I WAS STANDING ON THE SEAT! and still no crimp. Eventually we parted company and this thing was hanging over the edge.
I was so proud! But hey, it's go to go. Obviously flushing had no effect whatsoever.

I figured some boiling water would fix it so I sent to the kitchen to boil the kettle and my girlfriend came home and went straight to the bathroom while I was doing it.

Posted 7 months ago #
epicyclo - Member

Warn your sister the toilet has been backing up but a few good flushes fixes it for a week.

And hope she doesn't read STW...

Posted 7 months ago #
user-removed - Member

I did a jobby on day four of a two month bike and tent tour of Spain / France / The Pyrenees. It was a four day jobby (flying upsets my constitution).

We'd stopped under a bridge and brewed up some strong coffee. I made my excuses and left to find a suitable spot as my innards broiled. After beginning, I ran out of space and was impelled to hop forward in the manner of a primary school child performing a rabbit hop. Suffice to say, this poo required no less than three rabbit hops.

On completion, flushed (pun intended) with pride I ran back to the bridge and joyfully encouraged my companions to come and see the marvellous thing I had wrought, but they seemed strangely unwilling to share in my special moment, saying instead, " **** off you dirty bastard".

Posted 7 months ago #
NZCol - Member

Why did I open this thread ?

Posted 7 months ago #
xcgb - Member

Loving the rabbit hops!

Posted 7 months ago #
Neil F - Member

Or rabbit plops.....
I've had a few shove me off the seat in the past, never thought to take
A piccy though.

Posted 7 months ago #
Fop - Member

iPoo app takes Rate My Poo a step further.

And no, I do NOT have it on my phone!

Posted 7 months ago #
TuckerUK - Member

Lold at the rabbit hops.

I've got to share a story a friend of mind told me about his brother. His brother and a mate were travelling across the states on holiday and stopped for a fuel/meal/dump break. The brother was turtles head/touching cloth, so duly went to an available cubicle. He was so proud of the turd he produced, that he fished it out, laid it on loo paper, and slid in under the cubicle wall to show his buddy who was in the next stall saying "Dude, what d'ya say to that!" (or similar).

He was mortified to hear an unfamiliar voice reply something along the lines of "Um, yes, very nice, well done". His buddy had already left the toilet and the cubicle had been reoccupied by a smart businessman.

Posted 7 months ago #
wwaswas - Member

In Florida, went to an empty public rest room and mate went in cubicle I went to one a few stalls down.

Mate hears a splash, shouts 'bloody hell that was a big one', flushes his loo, and walks out of his cubicle to find the cleaner sluicing around the next cubicle with the old style mop they've just dunked in the bowl.

Posted 7 months ago #
aracer - Member

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtO_WsBLfyA&feature=related

NSFW!

Posted 7 months ago #
derek_starship - Member

On my first trip to France back in '87, I inadvertently shat in a campsite shower cubicle in Calais. Of course there was no loo paper

Posted 7 months ago #
cynic-al - Member

I think I'm just gonna wait for the pic to appear on ratemypoo.com.

Posted 7 months ago #
Cougar - Member

I inadvertently shat

How on earth did you manage that? Was it a fart with a surprise? (ie, a Kinder Fart)

Posted 7 months ago #
bigthunder - Member

My personal favourite was a monster in one of those lay and display type toilets our european cousins use. Perfect specimen and it was proudly shown to a friend or two.

Posted 7 months ago #

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