[Closed] Things the French excel at

holy 1975 batman

*mods can you move this to the EU in/out thread?
😉

Making bread
Playing rugby
Relaxing, esp down south
Casual and communal games that everyone can get involved in (petanque)
Making plain salted crisps taste amazing
Bizarre comics

We live in France - all of the above but especially

Making rules and regulations

Closing (shops etc.)
Shouting / shrugging / frowning
Riding mopeds with engine size to noise ratio of 1:64
Not making eye contact in public areas
Eating things you wouldn't even look at
Buying cigarettes in bulk
Not cleaning cars / repairing dents
Wearing swimming trunks that provide hi-res detail of genitals
Eating ham, cheese and bread
Making rules and regulations

Haha! Brilliant!!!

Things the English excel at

Shopping
Not showing emotion
Driving even the shortest distance
Not speaking in public areas
Eating awful food
Smoking and drinking
Sending all of Sunday polishing their cars
Wearing inappropriate clothes almost everywhere
Eating pies
Health & Safety regulations

Surrendering

Wearing swimming trunks that provide hi-res detail of genitals

We used to do that, until the Americans persuaded us it's cool to be prudish.

Making cheese

sounding sexy while reading the dullest texts possible

Rationing soap and toothpaste

Eating cheese
Surrendering
Sending spies to Hartlepool

Speaking French. They're the world leaders at that.

See also (things the french are quite good at)

Having a recognisable summer
Non motorway roads that aren't falling apart

Cheap brilliant campsites

Walking with a full baguette casually tucked into the back pocket of their jeans.

The absolute car-crash of a breakfast of disparate foods I was served in a cafe in Paris a couple of years ago - I was like all the meals you can think of thrown at one plate - there were elements of an English cooked breakfast but there was also a salad, fries, a cheese burger, a bowl of cold apricot pure, toast, cheeses and stuff I've since forgotten, all heaped on one huge plate. I think me and the girl taking the order had reached a misunderstanding.

The french have the ability to dream up the most incredible trash/junk food inventions then blame it on other countries - for example [url=

]'The American Sandwich'[/url]

Hating anyone who wins Le Tour that isn't French

Eating smelly cheese.
Surrendering.

Things the English excel at

Shopping
Not showing emotion
Driving even the shortest distance
Not speaking in public areas
Eating awful food
Smoking and drinking
Sending all of Sunday polishing their cars
Wearing inappropriate clothes almost everywhere
Eating pies
Health & Safety regulations

Having eating establishments that serve the same menu from dawn til dusk, (including all the spaces in-between mealtimes when you'd reckon a sensible eating establishment might stop serving food) all year round.

French won a lot of wars throughout history you know.

Having an awful capital city.
Having good motorways and nice cafés away from the awful capital.

[b]Closing (shops etc.)
Shouting / shrugging / frowning
Making rules and regulations
[/b]
These 3 are linked - a part of French culture that goes back to their revolution basically legislates out a lot of 'efficiency' and competition to ensure more people, even poorer people work to live and not live to work. It's almost the complete opposite of US culture. It can be a bit jarring to us, but we've gotten a bit too used to assuming whoever is paying is always right and we should be able to spend money at 2am because we're too busy working at normal times.

[b]Riding mopeds with engine size to noise ratio of 1:64 [/b]- yep, antisocial / daft vehicle stuff is invariably linked to how young the owner is IME. My town has a hardcore of 16 year olds on 50cc peds being dicks and fitting stupid exhausts to them - in France you can ride a 'ped at 14 that's another 2 whole years of stupid they can glue to a knackered old Puch.

[b]Not making eye contact in public areas.[/b] I think the Brits lead the world when it comes to ignoring each other, they're decades behind us in the dehumanising other people stakes.

[b]Eating things you wouldn't even look at[/b], they think the same about us, even if you discount the really odd - like fried pigs blood, they look at a Iceland Frozen Deepan Pizza with a greater revulsion than we do snails etc.

[b]Buying cigarettes in bulk [/b]- I thought the era of the Frenchie sucking on 40 Gitanes a day was over? I know they've made it so you can only buy them in tobacconists now - hence the bulk buying by the junkies?

[b]Not cleaning cars / repairing dents[/b], Cars are less of a status symbol in France (they have a lot less of them in general) as a rule French people couldn't give a monkey's about their car - but still if you're a bit of a geek like me you might notice that whilst that entry level Clio down the road in that odd Mushroom brown you only see on French cars might be wearing a few 'character' marks, it'll have decent tyres and be in decent nick mechanically - unlike for example my neighbours sparklingly clean white A5 on mismatched and worn Linglong ditchfinders.

[b]Wearing swimming trunks that provide hi-res detail of genitals[/b]. Yeah, it's a bit odd that one - I know it's a rule is a lot of their pools, I'm told they don't like pulling handfuls of pubes out of the filters so insist in tight fitting trunks, but still... keeps lard arses like me out of the pool I guess. You should see the state of the Russians in Bulgaria, Jesus Wept, no one wants to see a 25 stone, tanned to the point of worn leather Russian "business man" in a thong.

[b]Eating ham, cheese and bread[/b] but of course!

The surrender thing is so original, creative and so unpredictable, love it. Hilarious too. 😐

Our last military victory is the Rainbow Warrior btw. 😉

unlike for example my neighbours sparklingly clean white A5 on mismatched and worn Linglong ditchfinders.

Best. Line. Ever. 😀

Having ridiculously sexy blonde topless women everywhere at the beach.

Making Tartiflette. I've made it at home and it just isn't the same.

I was on a flight to Belgrade that was diverted to Podgorice thanks to a mahoosive storm over Belgrade. While we waited at Podgorice, several French passengers came to the back and berated (the verb is "engeuler") the crew for making them miss their connection. I like the French but they went down a bit in my estimation that day.

Yeah, the only people bashed by every nationality in my building - seems to be the French. They get abuse from everyone - Spanish, Germans, Italians, Greeks, Poles etc - all of them like a bit of French baiting.

I was mildly surprised, I thought it was just an English thing.

Having great biking, climbing, surfing, you name it...

Pain au chocolate, croissants aux amandes etc

Also, le cinq a sept...

Everyone looks like they stepped out of a Vertbaudet catalogue, and even when they don't, they still manage to make dishevelled aesthetically pleasing.

Martial Arts?

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marital arts

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Having a great National Anthem

Well, they're better at football

Having the lowest health and safety standards of the major European countries

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Having sultry leading ladies in their films 8)

martial arts

Bien sur!

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Cool footballers

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johnx2 - Member
Having great biking, climbing, surfing, you name it...

Pain au chocolate, croissants aux amandes etc

Also, le cinq a sept..

They do a decent Wine or two, too.
They have the classiest well dressed Ladies this side of the pacos..
They have sublime sarcastic humour..
They have a very prolific Film industry..
To name a few more..

I'm a big fan of their approach to royalty...

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Transport infrastructure
Son et lumiere
Old men drinking before 11
Appreciating food quality rather than just cost

Having simply stunning women reading the news.
Striking.
A quality film industry.

Strikes - bugger beaten to it

Having simply stunning women reading the news.
Striking.
A quality film industry.

So why oh why is their television so dismal? Some of it makes Channel 5 seem highbrow!

Infidelity (and forgiveness of)

When I say Bonjour, they are very good at saying Hello back.

Generally being pleasant, and not worrying too much.

Driving, outside of Paris, most driving is a pleasure.-
Using the over taking lane for over taking then moving back. Shocking.

Kicking arse in Mali at the moment and few other places recently.
Sticking the finger up/returning fire to the Serbs and stopping them ethically cleansing parts of Bosnia, while pretty much the rest of the world talked about doing something maybe? (Should we bring the Dutch in at this point?)

Beer selection in super markets can be a bit poor thou.