Please indulge my idle daydreaming. I have a mortgage, probably zero equity, a wife and two kids (3 and 1), a job that includes travelling (on expenses, UK wide), and debts.

Getting pretty fed up with the clutter of everyday life, but can’t really afford to become proper hippies and I’m not sure how I’d really take to it.

So some kind of halfway house could be fun. Like selling up and buying a nice caravan, so we can travel around as a family to the work locations. Or maybe just buying a plot of woodland in Mid Wales and building a yurt – I can technically live anywhere I like in the UK, my expenses get paid from anywhere.

Any stories, jokes, experiences, pisstaking or ideas appreciated 🙂

I like the look of those island past tazmania

I am not sure if you can be part-time hippies ? I think it is one of those all or nothing things…

You can. I’ve got the option of contracting, where you work for 6 months then take the money and wander off 🙂

There is a magical golden middle ground…..

😆

Ah.. the dream…!

Can you have middle-class pikeys? Audi Q7, brand new Bailey caravan…

Whatever you do, do it before your kids start school. School does complicate things a little and although not impossible, it does make the prospect of moving seem more daunting.

If you can find employment over there, I’d recommend emigrating to Australia. I know a few people who’ve moved over there (most with young kids) and they’ve not looked back. I think the cost of living is more expensive than some Brits anticipate, but all the people I know that have gone to Oz say that the quality of life and general outlook of people is so much better than the UK.

You can. I’ve got the option of contracting, where you work for 6 months then take the money and wander off

It takes a strong strong mind to do this. I know a few people who started this with best intentions, but are addicted to the money so can’t turn a contract down. Now living away from family ‘giving it all up next year..’
and missing some of the best years of their childrens lives.

Scale down, sell the crap you don’t need (I think whatever meets your definition of a nice house is worth the money though), pay down that mortgage and maybe take a step back work wise. Enjoy what you have eh?

I’m finally being made redundant end of next month, and whilst it’s a bit scary I’m seeing it as a new start. If what I have lined up doesn’t work out, I’m moving on… idealy to run a cafe in South Devon 😀

Australia is out of the question. No point in swapping a suburban house in the UK for a suburban one on the other side of the world.

Need a change of lifestyle not location.

but all the people I know that have gone to Oz say that the quality of life and general outlook of people is so much better than the UK.

Yeah, ex-pats always bang on about that, to validate themselves 🙂

It takes a strong strong mind to do this. I know a few people who started this with best intentions, but are addicted to the money so can’t turn a contract down

Yeah I contracted for 5 years and spent the lot on crap. Well, not all crap, but still it’s amazing how money can just disappear.

Got any savings? Where’s your house?

Try letting your house out as a holiday let. April to October.

For the 6 months it’s being let try a variety of things – houseboat, yurt etc and see if you all can hack it. A bloke I used to work with did it and never looked back.

No savings, house is on an anonymous development just off the M4 outside Cardiff… would let as a normal let though, which would cover the mortgage.

Letting your house to try it out is not a bad idea, but a houseboat, whilst attractive, would be trickier 🙂

Why did you have children?

get the juices flowing.
http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Homes-Shelter-Lloyd-Kahn/dp/0936070528

my current favourite book.

Why did you have children?

+1, there’s your big mistake. I was doing great on the living-in-different-places thing until that happened.

Can I be the first to call #firstworldproblem

Actually I sympathise a lot! An existence which involved 2 days working in london and 5 days dossing by the sea side in wales is currently top of the aspirational wish list. It’s not unachievable, but it will take some balls to uproot kids to see if it works.

How about Germany? 😉

Pretty much feel the same way at the mo 🙁

Busy, responsible job.
Always putting stuff on expenses for work
Mortgage keeps going up – cause the mortgage companys say “because we can” 👿
Family relationships (parents & inlaws) getting strained – not seeing enough of the grandchildren
Seem to work hard, earn a reasonable amount, but constantly chasing our own tail.

For sure a first world problem, but
Getting a bit wearing

Seem to work hard, earn a reasonable amount, but constantly chasing our own tail.

That’s the kicker isn’t it? You’d think at some point it’d get easier…

I’ve got nothing useful to add other than my own self pity 🙂

Could you not sell the kids into slavery. I understand that at 1 and 3 their uses are fairly limited, but you could market them as an appreciating asset. A long term investment. Its not too long til they could be darn’pit?

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZgCH2HPVC0&feature=player_detailpage[/video]

“New Life” is the second UK single by Depeche Mode, originally released on 13 June 1981. It was not commercially released in the United States.
There were two versions of the song available. The 7″ version would later become the “album version”, as it would eventually appear on the UK version of Speak & Spell, released in October 1981, and a 12″ “remix,” which differs from the “album version” in that it has a different intro, intensely percusive and harder, and an added synth part in the “solo” vocal section in the middle of the song, which is not present on the 7″ mix. The “remix” would later appear on the US version of Speak & Spell.
The single became Depeche Mode’s breakthrough hit in the UK, peaking at #11. On 25 June 1981, the band performed “New Life” during their debut on the BBC’s Top of the Pops. The band would perform the song twice more on the show, on July 16 and July 30, 1981.
The b-side, “Shout!”, is the first Depeche Mode song to get a 12″ extended remix, called the “Rio Remix”. This mix would later appear on the remix compilation Remixes 81–04, released in 2004. It is the earliest recorded song available on the compilation.

Not what you meant… oh 😳

How long would it take to clear your debts? Cut down on crap you don’t need, pay down debts and some of the mortgage if you can, and take a job with less travel.

Is your wife from Wales and/or are you all settled there? With the children young it could be an opportunity to move closer to work opportunities (you’re in IT IIRC). It’ll mean a more expensive location no doubt, but if you can get a job closer to home you can spend more time with the wife/children.

While it might be nice to dream of living a carefree and hand to mouth life, 99% of us couldn’t hack it and with kids to consider I wouldn’t try.

Sounds boring I know but if I were you I’d try to get in a position where I could spend more time with the family and still provide for them.

I reckon if you have debts and zero equity plus 2 very young kids you might need a plan 🙂

Are the debts separate to the mortgage? If so can you remortgage and combine them? Rental costs are pretty high and you might be able to get enough rent to cover it all. Long term you’d be unlikely to be able to convert your mortgage to a buy to let because IIRC most lenders want a chunk of equity in the property first. I think you could do a short term 6 monthly thing though, just don’t tell the mortgage company!

Another angle to think about is just to bloody move! If you aren’t tied to a single location why not just move to a nice area that has a little more of what you want and a little less of what you don’t?

What you’re saying sounds primarily like a money thing so I’d address that first.

Do not emigrate.

Contract, pay off mortgage, feed your soul with frequent life-affirming sessions doing what you love, with whom you love.

but all the people I know that have gone to Oz say that the quality of life and general outlook of people is so much better than the UK.

It’s the same in Canada as well. I don’t really like the generally pessimistic/negative outlook that many people in the UK have, you don’t really get it over there!

Face the facts you’re in the rat race….

But that doesn’t mean you can’t deviate off the track…

and …

“pay off mortgage, feed your soul with frequent life-affirming sessions doing what you love, with whom you love.”

+1

Why did you have children?

It’s both solipsism and an antidote to solipsism.

What you’re saying sounds primarily like a money thing so I’d address that first.

Yeah it is – at current rates that will take quite a few years to sort at least. Contracting could sort it in a year, but it could also make matters worse.

feed your soul with frequent life-affirming sessions doing what you love, with whom you love.

Yeah.. well that’s a significant part of the problem in the first place! When you work, you haven’t the time, and when you’re not working you are recovering from work.

Face the facts you’re in the rat race…

No chance. A race implies competition. I’m just trying to get to the point where I can have frequent life-affirming sessions doing what I love, with whom I love.

Lol at the pay off mortage comment. Great idea, why didn’t I think of that?

It is a #firstworldproblem.

For what it’s worth, it’s what the better half and I are trying to do – what’s stopping us at the moment is a definite plan. But should we sprog, I want the sprogs to grow up somewhere where there’s a better culture and outlook on life – for me that isn’t suburbia.

When you work, you haven’t the time, and when you’re not working you are recovering from work.

Then you’re working too much! I used to work very long hours and was fortunate enough that the missus is the understanding type.

When the kids came along I (we) made the decision to work a lot less. We have a lot less money, especially since we’re on just one wage, but I have breakfast with the kids every morning and am home early enough to at least help with bath and bedtime stuff every night, usually early enough to play for an hour or so beforehand. I know a lot of people do it, lots of my friends included, but I can’t imagine not seeing the kids every day.

We can’t really afford to do much anymore and treats (toys) come second hand from ebay, but weekends are generally spent doing family stuff and having fun. Walks in local woods, cycle rides to the park for playground and picnics. You don’t really need to spend much doing that kind of thing. For me there’s nothing better, some more money would be nice but it’s not vital.

Then you’re working too much!

Lol.. you’ve seen how long I spend on here 🙂

Part time is not an option. Can’t afford it. I do WFH 50% of the time.

You don’t really need to spend much doing that kind of thing.

That’s what we do. Problem is, it’s not enough for me or the wife. We’re cursed with ambition.

I want the sprogs to grow up somewhere where there’s a better culture and outlook on life – for me that isn’t suburbia.

The location has little to do with it. You create your own culture and outlook in your own house.

No point in swapping a suburban house in the UK for a suburban one on the other side of the world.

going surfing before work, riding after, weekend camps in the bush under a blaze of the milky way and eskys of cold beer. rubbish.

Is mrs molgrips working? I’m guessing you are paying a certain amount of nursery costs at the minute?

You are slap bang in the middle of the skintest bit of having small children. And believe me I KNOW what that’s like! Once both your children are at school the amount you pay out falls massively. Our nursery and nanny costs were around 900 a month up until July and had been that way for around 18 – 24 months. From September that falls to 100.

My advice, money wise is realise that it’s going to get a LOT easier in a few years time and try to limit the debts you run up in the meantime.

As far as time/work balance and stuff that’s entirely up to you to resolve! For me that meant a lot less riding and socialising with friends. Again that starts to ease off somewhat as the kids get a bit older.

Don’t beat yourself up about it being a bit crap at the minute, it doesn’t stay like this forever 🙂

…Audi Q7, brand new Bailey caravan…

Spend less, have more time.

It’s the same in Canada as well. I don’t really like the generally pessimistic/negative outlook that many people in the UK have, you don’t really get it over there!

Not my experience at all, bunch of whining **** the lot of them

…Audi Q7, brand new Bailey caravan…

Spend less, have more time.

That was a joke, regarding the idea of middle class pikeys.

Is mrs molgrips working?

No. She hasn’t enough career experience to earn enough to make it worthwhile currently. If she does when the kids are in school, we’ll have a boatload more money.

For me that meant a lot less riding and socialising with friends

Sorry what? Friends? Socialising? Riding? Not sure what you mean.

We’re cursed with ambition

Aah, you want to jettison that monkey. Impose it on your kids and go Competitive Dad instead 🙂

I used to be ambitious but 15 years of corporate life taught me that it isn’t necessarily the brightest or cleverest or even hardest working that get the rewards – in fact it appears to be a disadvantage, as no one can afford to not have you in your job. I’ve been a lot happier since I made peace with that, and realised I’d be happy stacking shelves if I could cover the bills as all my real ‘wants’ lie outside of work.

“Lol at the pay off mortage comment. Great idea, why didn’t I think of that? “

I’m afraid you’ll be suck in the race with little sarcastic comments like that…. we’ve given you ideas and you’ve thrown them back in our face … How do you honestly feel about your comment? Has it made you feel “good” ? … Has that help feed your soul…?

Lol.. you’ve seen how long I spend on here

True, let me re-phrase – you’re spending too much time at work 🙂

Problem is, it’s not enough for me or the wife

You mean you want to spend even more time together, or you want to do stuff that costs more?

We’re cursed with ambition

What kind of ambition? IME, unless you’re very very lucky, to achieve your ambitions requires sacrifice. If your ambition is to have more stuff then you need to work more and sacrifice personal/family time. (but you know all this)

Cake and eat it springs to mind, and I sympathise because I feel the same way sometimes. In fact it’s threads like this that help me see what’s important. I think we both need a big lottery win!

brassneck +1 on the corporate life thing.

Sorry what? Friends? Socialising? Riding? Not sure what you mean.

Sounds like that could be missing from your life then…..