This morning my best friends son ended his life at the age of 22. Jake I don’t know why you did it, I am so sad and so angry at you. I don’t know what to say, just gutted. Just want to get it off my chest. FFS what a waste
Sorry to hear that. Lost a good mate at work a coupla years ago to suicide. He was a great guy, didnt make any sense to us at the time, prob never will. Hard, hard times.
Can only imagine how you and your mate are feeling just now.
A lad down the road from us, about the same age, did the same recently. I was baffled as to how your life could be that bad, so young, to want to take your own life. Thats normally the time when you’re filled with optimism.
It seems slightly more comprehensible if your older, maybe been through the mill a bit, having had a lot more years to make a right old mess of things. But at that age…. ?
An old friend of mine did the same 3 years ago aged 27, terribly sad and still makes me angry. Take some time to support your mate now and over the next couple of years.
Good friend of mine walked in front of a train a few months ago. It leaves a totally different hole to ‘normal’ grief. I’m happy that he doesn’t have to suffer his experience any more, but the feeling that he should have, could have found the answer seems like it’s going to be with me for the rest of my life.
I lost my cousin the same way just over a year ago, the pain in my uncle’s eyes is still there and no-one knew why he didn’t ask for help in our close family. The memories will never fade and in my heart i’ve found peace hoping he’s happier now.
As awful as this is for those close to the lad try to look at it as a release for him.
Perhaps the alternative would have been a life time of mental illness, depression, medication, therapy etc etc and he just couldnt face it…ultimately who would he have been doing it for?….himself or those around him?
Its not actually the cowards way out as some people suggest, it takes a huge amount of courage to make that decision and carry it out, he’s in a better place i’m sure.
Horrible for those left behind, I’m sure. Sorry for your pain.
I heard an interesting way to look at this from a doctor on some radio program a little while ago. Instead of thinking of it as a mental flaw or weakness, just remember that depression is a disease. Sometimes it is fatal. Blame the disease, not the lad.
Remember, he wasnt selfish or a coward…he was neurologically ill. He had a disease that was rooted in his neurobiology and died because of it just like cancer patients do – it’s not your place to be angry.
But as above, do remember that it’s not a decision made for any reason. Sometimes our brains go wrong, and this can happen. The old fashioned movie stereotype of a man on a ledge in the Great Depression doens’t really apply in most cases I think.
People need to get away from the old idea depression or bipolar is a reason for suicide,lots of things are also relevant, lifestyles, lack of money,job loss, relationship breakdowns,family breakdowns, bullying,stress and sexual identity, and lots more.
Its just so very sad for the person who takes their own life, they just didnt feel confident enough to just talk to someone, to ask for help, and to be listened to.
A friend of mine struggles with suicidal thoughts regularly. She has a happy life, a family, three small kids, but sometimes an uncontrollable self destructive streak takes over. She spends a lot of time in therapy of some kind, so even having the courage to talk to someone isn’t enough.
What deviant said and others have also expressed. It’s not selfish, or cowardice. It’s the converse; for someone to carry on living through deep depression and mental illness, when all problems seem insurmountable and there’s never any end in sight, just because of the effect it’ll have on those left behind – that’s about as selfless an act as I can think of.
