not read all the posts but I don’t think this is a massively difficult proposition.

Cutting down on all the fatty stuffs is a big start but also proper exericse too, From what I can see, you do a fair amount of short rides, probably not that intensive. If you want to burn out fat then you could probably do with getting more longer rides and make them hard. Plus, a lot of them guys you see in the adverts, dehydrate themselves for the shots.

I’d recommend swimming as a good fat burning exericise. Get loads of crunches in. Cut out the fatty foods and beer.

Jon Doran your rod is indeed long 😉

I can’t believe that no-one has told BWD the special diet trick…

break biscuits in half before you eat them and then hang them on the washing line so that the freshly broken edge is facing down (very important or it won’t work) Once the biscuits are in position, leave them for 20 minutes and all of the calories will fall out.

Thanks for your support guys. I thought I’d just let everyone know how I’m getting on in practical terms with a weekend update. First off, I went on the STW Peaks Pootle from Marple. Because I knew I’d need a lot of energy to keep up with some of the local hot shots, I had a fat-burning breakfast consisting of waffles, maple syrup and a banana – the thinking was that because the calories are absorbed quickly, they’d be there to be burned during the ride.

In the course of the ride itself, I ate 16 fig rolls which are low fat and consequently metabolise fat faster by encouraging the body to use its reserves quickly. I also had a small piece of cake, but kept it separate from the half bar of chocolate I consumed. I estimate we rode approximately 18 miles, so afterwards, to recover I ate a Tunnocks Caramel Wafer and a bakewell tart along with a mug of tea with only one sugar added. Note that I didn’t consume any beer during the ride.

In the evening I ate Chinese with friends and drank only three bears, but there was no carbohydrate in the meal and I put the rice in a separate bowl to keep the main food groups apart from each other. When I got home I did two sets of ten abdominal crunches.

Today I woke up bright and early and I’m pretty sure my abdomen feels firmer already. OK, there’s no visible six-pack yet, but eventually I think the muscles will become defined enough to push through the fat and displace it sideways.

Today I rode over 15 miles in the central Peak with friends. The mileage may seem modest, but the amount of climbing involved was extremely serious. Encouraged by yesterday’s success, I ate only a slice of chocolate cake all ride along with three healthy energy bars. After the ride I avoided cake because I’d already had today’s portion while on the trail and, instead, ate a bar of Green and Blacks – I ate the whole bar because I was still in credit for yesterday when I ate no chocolate at all.

I’m about to do another two sets of ten crunches and then eat a fish and chip supper. If that sounds extravagant, bear in mind that I am not drinking any beer at all today and had only three last night.

I hope that answers some of the naysayers. As you can see, my diet is realistic and, to my mind, very palatable, but is considerably less than I’d normally consume and MOST IMPORTANTLY I am already starting to see results.

I wasn’t sure at first, but this guy is actually a satire king!

That’s satire, not ‘satay’ you complete and utter baker’s friend. 😉

I put the rice in a separate bowl to keep the main food groups apart from each other

You need to eat a dollop of raw pastry dough between each main food group.
This will keep them apart in your stomach, a bit like the wadding in a shotgun cartridge, otherwise they will all mix up inside you and you will have wasted the effort keeping them seperate on the table

I just started doing weights and stuff with my mates who have been doing it for a while. Quite fun when you’re not in a gym by yourself. I don’t want to get “ripped” or anything like that, but apparently having a bit more muscle helps to burn fat (which I need) and would like to start getting some definition on my arms/belly/chest, although the latter will take a while as they’re still very fat! Total weight loss thus far is about 40kg but there’s still a fair way to go.

We’re following something called 5×5 which is 5 sets of 5 reps for one particular activity like squats etc. It seems alright and works well in pairs of 2.

For the abs, reverse crunches just about killed me!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlTvnfOr6_Q[/video]

‘Shed fat’, what exactly is ‘shed fat’?

i believe it’s Brant’s new business – offshoot from ShedFire – he’s going into sports nutrition for the real (world) man….. 😉

Ah, my coat – why, thank-you!
Doors over there you say – jolly good, ill be off then…

BWD – best of british!

I did some body-building a few years ago and had visible abs. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and would never do it again (although was incredibly pleased with the results).
The last 6 weeks of dieting down involved absolutely no sugar, virtually no carbs, and nearly finished me off mentally. (Im still glad I did it though!) (Oh, and set after set after set of ab. exercises).
If you seriously think you can get visible abs by just cutting down on beer, cake and chocolate you are living in lala land. 8)

Edit…having just read your last post I realise this is complete troll/piss-take.