found myself crawling 5 carriages up the pit underneath a London Underground train at Oxford Circus to extricate someone last summer – you do briefly wonder how you got yourself into these weird situations 🙂

i'll never forget a nght a uni when a housemates friend had come over for the weekend, they were arguinin the pub after a couple of beers and idscussing some job his mate had had. It went quiet then a coule of pints later it started up again the line
"at least i never had to masterbate the pigs for a job" will never be forgotten by everyone else present

i also cleaned building sites, delivered and collected shower units for asbestos removal firms and delivered meals in a huge institution for the criminally insane and drug dependant crims in bexleyheath. in a milk float. my only safety talk? ' if you see anyoneone running at you, peg it in the opposite direction. they don't want you, they just want the milk float. plus you can run faster than the float.'

Private security contractor, or mercenary if you will. Most people hate me, but I'm ok with it.

"Model" for an art school life-drawing class. Paid hard cash to show tiny-tarka to a load of old ladies; and those rooms are COLD! You don't look your best 🙁

i have been a fudge packer in a factory. i also broke up a lot of fudge.

i've also written feasibility reports on irrigation systems in tajikistan, and washed cars.

god knows what i'll be doing after uni 🙁

Computer Forensics examiner – delving into the PCs of the rich, famous, weird, odd and quite often criminally minded. Lots of filth (everyday stuff & lots of non-everyday stuff) and lots of more exciting commercial jobs. Most bizarre moment was hiding under a desk at 4am in a glass building on Bishopsgate as a couple had a quickie on their bosses desk about 30 feet away ! Phone bugging, lock picking, covert entry. Sounds exciting, actually all mundane once you do it a lot. Unlike masturbating pigs which must be interesting. I did read a damage report for a guy who was squashed by a bull when he mistimed his 'approach' – he was a bull semen collector. Broken pelvis, broken, femur, dislocated shoulder from memory.

god knows what i'll be doing after uni

Masturbating pigs?

Ah, I turned down a career pleasuring pigs for money (as it were).
Was at a place called the 'pig improvement company'. Two thirds of the jobs was OK – 1/3 labwork, 1/3 caring. The last 1/3 was 'collecting'.
Turned offer down after that.

Interesting, no, I work in IT. Closest would have been handling all the Talk Talk cold calling calling data for the UK (in an agency). Morally it was the worst place to work : "Yeay, we cold called over 100,000 people this month"
Not something that goes on the CV…

Blackcurrant Juicer (had purple arms for days afterwards).
Trained Pie taster
Spent a number of years as a mountain bike guide.
Now I mix chemicals together to create food flavours…

i'll never forget a nght a uni when a housemates friend had come over for the weekend, they were arguinin the pub after a couple of beers and idscussing some job his mate had had.

Can I assume your degree was in maths? 😉

You don't masturbate boars from my recollection of working in a pig farm one summer.
They have the most bizarre penises, they’re very long, thin but the most strange thing is that they resemble a large spring that’s part uncoiled.
You have to help the boar by serving him to the sow, physically putting him inside the sow as they don’t seem to be able to fill the length well enough to get a full erection.

Well, you did start on the subject…..!

I once watered the hanging baskets around Cardiff for a summer – drove a van with a big water tank on the back, a motorised pump and a hose. That was alright.

Can't beat any of the interesting ones tho.

I am the Sales and Marketing Manager for my friends company, get to go to various shows in the UK and Europe, lined up to go to Venus, Berlin in October, which should be interesting

I worked on Indian oilrigs – me, 60 Indian blokes, lots of rats & lots of cockroaches.

Since leaving the Army 5 yrs ago i have worked in Iraq, Afgan, Iran, Yemen, Nigeria (Yuk) to name a few places looking after people, now in Libya doing the same in a nice corporate environment.

[Thread hijack]
Anokdale – any good biking in Libya or are most people stuck in a compound? Got a mate who just started out there (in a nice corporate environment) and I'm wondering how well he'll adjust without a garage full of bikes.

Burts – There is some excellent off road stuff and a few of the IOCs get out and about know a few guys at BP who go South of Tripoli on the mountains there,road wise very dangerous, in fact Libya is the 2nd highest Arab nation in respect of RTAs, it is mental to be honest and you dont see Ex Pats risking it.

For me i do rotation 28/28 or thereabouts but on day rates i dont get a chance to get out and about riding so i brought over a spin cycle and train on that, bonus is i get to live in the corinthiabab hotel, best one in town by far. Miss the garage full of bike though.

Who is he with and where is he, i will probably meet up with him if he is in Tripoli as everyone knows each other.

richcc – I feel for you, i did the same in Nigeria for while, i just thought of the cash and the air ride home, !!!

anokdale, I need to get your details, getting fed up of spending my time in Iraq now!

Marquee foreman – big tents for weddings, shows and raves.
Green engineer – natural river structures to protect banks, improve flow and habitat.
Warehouse guy – for a friends baby clothes company.

Currently a forester.

condom testing – not nearly as fun as you'd think.

Tree – See your back in the sandpit,i did a couple of months in Baggers two yrs ago as a favour but its not the way ahead if you have family. With your comms skills ? there must be other jobs on the circuit. Have you got an email and i will send your cv up our chain, no promises Blah Blah blah but you never know, nearly 5 yrs since i bumped into you in Basrah 😯

I'm an IT Manager.

Beat that.

Butcher- Postman- Outdoor Instructor- Cartographer- Teacher. And nowadays thinking that much of my time is spent as a social worker. Which is a good thing.

Just sold the paintball business now run 2 CQB airsoft sites, one in a WW2 bunker complex and another in a closed private hospital.

Started work around the age of 10 with my grandad & uncle on a farm, got to drive tractors(Fergusson & Ford Dextor, Major and Nuffied) My uncle was a sheperd so I learned how to train sheep dogs, how to lamb etc.

@16 i started my "proper" job, serving my time/apprenticeship as a motor mechanic. Got to go on a couple of factory courses, Rover automatic gearboxes, Range Rover engine/gearbox courses in Coventry. Got to drive(PDI) the first Range Rover in the area. Build & maintain race and rally cars.
Changed jobs and worked on Fords(utter crap). Got sent on the new (Mk1)Fiesta course.
Changed jobs , now a factory maintenance technician. Have done courses on relief valve overhaul and testing. Am a trainer for electric rolatrucs.
I am also a qualified swimming teacher, SMBLA MBL and a Scottish Cycling trainer

Managed one of the regional editions of a well-known magazine sold by homeless people for a couple of years.

Use to be the COO making these:

Was the dream job but like a lot of dreams when they actually come real they can turn into a nightmare, sometimes dreams are best kept just that 😉

And this is what is known as a bad day in the office 😥

But this was always my favourite day in the office, ripping up the test track and even crusing the local roads, all on full slicks lol 8)

Tree – See your back in the sandpit,i did a couple of months in Baggers two yrs ago as a favour but its not the way ahead if you have family. With your comms skills ? there must be other jobs on the circuit. Have you got an email and i will send your cv up our chain, no promises Blah Blah blah but you never know, nearly 5 yrs since i bumped into you in Basrah

Blimey, was that you? Funny how things go around. My email address is tree-magnet@mlehworld.com Be good to hear from you, but I know how things work in our field!! lol

Worked as a production manager at a steelplant, most memorable moments were being chased by molten steel after a breakout, and being allowed to "drive" the humungous electric arc furnace. When I turned that up, the lights in Doncaster went dim.

Radio Presenter, doing the early breakfast show on a station in the South.

Loads of fun, loved every minute of it. Highlights included being paid to talk (instead of being told to shut up), expanding my musical tastes and getting to have a 'booby hug' with Davina McCall.

Downsides were abysmally low pay and getting up at 3am.

despatch rider
forktruck driver,
went to trent poly to train as teacher left after 2 years
harris performance ,ohlins race service british/world superbike
benetton f1 R and D
Arrows F1 data/electronics tech race team
Marin/whyte designer
Arrows F1 Rand D
williams F1 test team data bloke
Design and technolgy technician at local high school

I used to be a gynacologist too, although I still keep my hand in!!

Spent a few years as a Steeplejack and no i didnt know Fred Dibnah.
Lots of repair and inspections of churches and mill chimneys, together with the erection of some big power station and refinery stacks. Generally all done with the traditional ladders, bosuns chairs and hemp rope, without any safety nets / lines and harnesses. – Very few days were boring.

I was on a ride with the head of maths at a 6th form scool who said when he was a lad he had a job on a farm. He said he was always interested and got a bit excited when the cow insemiator came round. So I called him a pervert.

mrdominos Mum makes scaled down live steam engines for a living – stick in water and oil and they chuff,chuff around your garden railway.

Coyote – Member
I'm an IT Manager.

Beat that.

OK you asked for it! Product finishing engineer – large percentage of my time is spent watching paint dry!

I used to look after the River Thames.

I translate medical data (including horrific biking accidents) into four digit codes so they're internaitonally comparable. You put the wrong number in and you can accidentally record "injured falling from space craft" when you mean "injection of antibiotics" which is quite odd.

Get to read lots of people's medical notes too.