I’m not a gynaecologist but I’ll have a good lick look at it for you 😀

Fake chap sap?

Got to be pancake batter this time of year, surely?
Add sugar and lemon to taste.

Poppadoms? Well it’s what my curtains are like

Boiled sago pearls.

Bump for an explanation from alpin?

Another bump because alpin’s online.

Goddamn you alpin, Finish me off. This thread needs a happy ending!

It’s a long shot but did he get his money‘s worth?

perchypanther –
Ripping a gimp mask off the janitor.

Is my new favourite euphemism 😆

Okay, alpin needs to explain all. I’m not used to being left without satisfaction!

Rachel

Alpin’s logged in,he’ll be coming to the forum in a couple of minutes.

he’ll be coming to the forum in a couple of minutes.

He might be faking it.

I suspect he came earlier and he’s all spent.

Long story, but I stumbled across the bike of a friend of ours just outside my workshop.

Along with another friend (who is in Berlin) we want to wind him up and think he’s got a secret admirer.

I’ve got a postcard to attach to his bike, written in Italian, singing the praises of his behind. It’ll be signed off with “Giovanni”,friend in the Berlin’s nickname. The postcard will be attached to the brake lever with a cable tie so he can’t ride off.

This should continue for a few days, each time upping the ante… A banana cable tied to his saddle (he’s from East Germany), under which is another postcard…

One of the ideas was to jizz on his saddle.

It should cum to an end towards the end of the month…. Again a postcard, with a picture of me and the Berliner sitting on the wall opposite taken from the perspective of where his bike is locked up… And then go for a beer….

I am underwhelmed 🙁

Aaaah…. the old cable tie / post card / saddle spunk gambit.

Why didn’t you just say so? 😉

Now that this has reached a climax I can relax.

Should we cuddle?

…and there Your Honour rests the case for the defence.

As if this

(he’s from East Germany)

explains this

A banana cable tied to his saddle

.

WTF is a “Banana Cable”?

And why would it be a sign of sexual interest?

If you want to up the antie

Lube up the end of the saddle and leave a empty poppers bottle close by 😉