[Closed] Sperm recipes....

[img] [/img]

How much do you need?

[img] [/img]

Energy gel is, I'm told, similar consistency

Wallpaper paste.
Cascamite wood adhesive.

[img] [/img]

Sanex Dermo shower gel. Or make your own.

Seriously though, what is going on with that Sanex. I just spurted a little onto my hand just to check it out and it gave me deja vu.

Thought you were talking about whales. This topic isn't any better

After looking at that whale eating a kebab outside Wearherspoons last night there won't be anything resembling man juice of any description....
Except maybe that really stringy bile sick you get after the last contents of your stomach have emptied themselves over the high street. :puke:

Disappointed. Thought you'd been to the seaside.

[img] [/img]

Cornflour and water are your friends here, I reckon.

Nope, watered down Ready Break..

Salad dressing.
Homemade (natch) and adjust the solids to oil/vinegar ratio for perfect consistency.

Some of you guys need to see a doctor.

Someone here has ridden a whale and done a big Huck of it... Can't remember who it was now

The Japanese generally eat it lightly steamed. Can't say it was the most pleasant gastronomic experience ever, but we eat eggs (of many species) happily enough, so I suppose it's just a matter of custom.

Egg white and water/cornflour mix. Add yolk if you're feeling ill.

piña colada cocktail mix (those just add booze pouches) is, I was once told, what the pros use when they need more than they can produce for a shot.

cloudnine - Member
Someone here has ridden a whale and done a big Huck of it... Can't remember who it was now

Shirley that was surfmat

I'll explain later.

It's later.....explain!

OP - I'm genuinely struggling to imagine what innocent, legitimate use anyone could have for a substance which is seemin' to be semen.

Did mrsfry put you up to this?

Prehaps the op is faking it for some reason?

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

piña colada cocktail mix (those just add booze pouches) is, I was once told, what the pros use when they need more than they can produce for a shot.

Well, at least it will taste fairly okay

Rachel

Salty carnation milk

Lumpy bisto

(appointment booked)

There was a TED talk on this the other week, apparently cornflour mix is what they use to simulate sperm.

It's in here somewhere:

I'll explain later.

It's later.....explain!

It's later than later. I won't be satisfied until I get a happy ending to this mystery 😉

Well done Perchy, the most bizzare ending to a scooby doo mystery ever.

😀 Lol - Ripping a gimp mask off the janitor. "I would have got off , if it wasn't for you pesky kids"

I was thinking more like Cluedo....

Goo-do - It was Professor Plums in the bathroom with miss-scarlett.com on the Ipad 😉

How very dare you! I never put anything up his 'This'
(Slides under OPs bed in a huff)

<runs off to check out miss-scarlett.com>
.
.
.
.
.
.
😯 😯 😯 😯

Use the real thing and claim the jazz mags on expenses?

"Slides under OPs bed in a huff"

*Googles what sort of clothing a huff is*

Sweetcorn relish without the sweetcorn.

Sorry...unable to assist...I don't do average in these matters...it is high quality stuff - one and done kind of stuff.

silly me, I thought you were looking for [url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041 ]semen based recipes[/url] 😯

cheers_drive -
Sweetcorn relish without the sweetcorn.

Would it still be a bit... [i]yellow[/i]?

Don't worry Hammyuk said that's normal. He's a doctor after all 🙂

You should let him examine you. He might learn a thing or two 😉

Sudocreme?

Mines like cologne, just splash it on your face.. neck, hair, ceiling, pillow and walls.

I'm not a gynaecologist but I'll have a good [s]lick[/s] look at it for you 😀

Fake chap sap?

Got to be pancake batter this time of year, surely?
Add sugar and lemon to taste.

Poppadoms? Well it's what my curtains are like

Boiled sago pearls.

Bump for an explanation from alpin?