First ride for a while and about 1 - 1.5 stone heavier.
I have always been comfortable on my bike but this evening I feel like I have been adored by a violent homosexual baboon.
Okay, I was riding a fixie, fully rigid, off road for 30 miles for my first ride after about 2 months without any serious ride. I guess this may have contributed.
Do I :
a) MTFU
b) Change my saddle
c) Change my arse
C is only really possible by losing the weight which means riding more which means B or A
First ride for a while and about 1 - 1.5 stone heavier.
That will be it. Just need to 'ahem' break your arse in a bit.
You idiot. 
Order of changes:
1. Change saddle height/position
2. Change Chamois/shorts
3. Add Chamois cream
4. Loose weight
5. Change saddle
6. MTFU
Ride more.
a
What is the best way to 'break in' my arse?
First thoughts were vinegar but I don't fancy pickled onions in my pants
I'll send Big Terry round,he'll break it in in seconds.
ian
stand up more.
1. Change saddle height/position - I did notice that the post had slipped 2cm by the end of the ride
2. Change Chamois/shorts - Maybe a pair of baggies and y-fronts weren't ideal
3. Add Chamois cream - Where?
4. Loose weight - that was sort of the aim of the ride
5. Change saddle - iFly I Beam has always been comfortable before. If I replace it will i then throw away the new saddle when I lose the weight again?
6. MTFU - Trying
Sore in what way ?
Friction or pressure points ?
Assos works for me 
Friction where the y-fronts rub and pressure points at the other painful bits.
Friction I understand more suitable attire may help.
Pressure points are what puzzle me as the saddle 'fitted' fine before
d) find a less violent baboon 
What is the best way to 'break in' my arse?
Perhaps try the personals section of Attitude magazine?
get gears, suspension and a smoother route......
ton - smoother route would be difficult, it was the new forest. I did think that taking my full suss 27 speed might be a good idea about half way round.
i only set out for a 30 minute pootle but got distracted by the fact it wasn't raining
Y fronts?
Get some cycling shorts for a start.
Also, your ass will be out of condition (in more ways than one). MTFU and get more riding in, it'll get reconditioned again.
It'll be the fancy lace thong you were wearing, wear something more sensible next time
This should help...
I have been adored by a violent homosexual baboon.
That fecker used to live round my way. Still comes round now and again. Always after I've been a lazy ass - off the bike for a few weeks. I'm glad to hear he's in your neck of the woods nowadays Peace for me!
Build up mileage gradually. Wear nothing under your cycling shorts and most importantly, liberal use of chamois cream. It really does make a difference.
This advice comes to you from someone who has also increased in weight and decreased in cycling time over the past 6 months
Internet waffling/riding ratio correction is required methinks
WorldClassAccident - Member
...Okay, I was riding a fixie, fully rigid, off road for 30 miles for my first ride after about 2 months...
That has the same result for me. I reckon it's due to having to spend more time in the saddle compared to the relief you get with a freewheel allowing you to raise your posterior on downhills.
definately a. You're a fixie rider now. The only thing you should be telling us about is how you totally reamed everyone else.
I expect complaints, but only from people who you've passed on a 1:3 descent when they were on their 'rig' and were wearing all their special protection gear. Or maybe from cheating spanish athletes (take your pick, it's a big list) who you've cannoned past up a dirty great mountain.
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