God knows what the nickname of Andover is, but i don't live there anymore so i don't care.
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So where are you from then?
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Posted 1 year ago #
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God knows what the nickname of Andover is
I can think of many, but most are too rude for a family site such as this. Shame really, as it's on the edge of some lovely country!
Posted 1 year ago # -
This is taken from the Dumfries, Queen of the South! facebook page. It's quite funny. I think I have taken out all the swear words.
Something I read awhile ago thats appropriate in here and so true!!! Enjoy and discuss.... Last year Pete Fortune and I wrote a book entitled 'Dumfries a History and Celebration'. As possibly any book with such a flatulent title deserved, it attracted little publicity on its publication. It's an attractive looking book with 5 chapters of largely plagiarised drooling about Dumfries and its rich History and, in the last of these, an upbeat assessment of Dumfries' potential to re-invent itself and survive rather than do the decent thing and slide discreetly into the Solway. We were very much against the lunatic feeling of optimism that we were forced to inject into Chapter 5, so much so that I wrote a secret Chapter 6 as an antidote. Here it is:
Actually it's a ****-hole isn't it? All these famous people might have come from Dumfries but they all ****ed off as soon as they could, and no wonder. The only exceptions are folk who died prematurely before they could **** off. Walking through Dumfries on a Saturday afternoon is enough to make you weep. The streets are filled with junkies, knock-kneed whores, thieves, pedarasts, religious maniacs and Rangers supporters. Every second shop is a ****ing Pound emporium selling glass paperweights made by Korean schoolchildren and umbrellas that break as you leave the premises, or a Tanning Salon where you can go to cultivate that particular orange complexion unique to the town's tarts.
The streets are filthy, coated in chewing gum, the riverbanks covered in kebab boxes and the only people with the energy to complain are monomaniac serial letter writers who in any sensible community would be beaten to death or locked away in an upstairs room. The pubs are full of the same pissed old men or a legion of able-bodied drunkards on incapacity benefit, and the only pub entertainment is Sky Sports or watching some old dosser ***** himself. At night the town fills with bottom feeders or fat old bags on hen-parties from Newcastle the only town in the world comparable to Dumfries in its subnormal and retarded inhabitants.
The town's packed with inadequate single mothers on benefit and their cock-eyed boyfriends on crack although there is a huge population of middle class ****ers who live in overpriced encampments on the edge of town and depend on the burgeoning ranks of irredeemable scum for their livelihood. 800 years of History but you'd think the town had been designed by some humourless, possibly syphilitic, presbyterian.
Every building of any importance has been knocked down, or soon will be, apart from those associated with Robert Burns, the poet of choice for Scotlands masons and unionists. The football team's ****, the leisure centre, if it ever gets built, will fill up with the town's young, an under-educated mob of proto-criminals, and going to Tesco's and making it back without being ambushed by some Sandside skip-rat will remain the highlight of everyone's week. The council's full of old bores or drunkards whose collective imagination would fit in the shell of a hazel nut.
The only tourists you see are here by mistake, or are disabled pensioners from East Kilbride who got the Mystery Tour Booby Prize. The Crichton Campus is the university of choice for people with one C pass at Higher or saddos who can't bear to leave their thick boyfriends and go to a proper University. Guid Neighbours is an orgy of drink fuelled violence with no origin in history at all, apart from an attempt in the 1930s to convince the townspeople they had a sense of community and heritage.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Too true Captain. I'm from one of the rather lovely hamlets in the surrounding area :-). I live at the seaside now, but it's nice to go home sometimes.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The town of my birth is Colchester, which should be rights be called "Perineum" given it's proximity to Ipswich and Clacton-On-Sea.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Redcar...
The Costa del Smog , it's a smelly craphole of a place and I can't wait to move.
Posted 1 year ago # -
town where i was born is Kingswinford(K'ford) which is between Dudley and Wolverhampton(Yam Yams) now live in Barnsley(Dingles)according to Sheffield folk(Dee dahs).
One thing in common with them all is that it is based on dialect differences between these relatively close towns which is why I think local accents are great for the banter if nowt else
Posted 1 year ago # -
I was born is Kingswinford(K'ford) which is between Dudley and Wolverhampton(Yam Yams) now live in Barnsley(Dingles)according to Sheffield folk(Dee dahs).
One thing in common with them all is that it is based on dialect differences between these relatively close towns which is why I think local accents are great for the banter if nowt else
Posted 1 year ago # -
Amazingstoke?????? Must be irony, my daughter and her mates call it Basingrad, which suits it much better.
Now in Herts where a local francophile has been going round with black tape changing signs for Barnet to Barnét.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Brum
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'm from the rather unimaginatively but appropriately named Granite City.
Posted 1 year ago # -
i was at Munich station the other week and struck up a conversation with some girl. asked her where she was from and she said "Hamburg. Hamburg City, Germany". oh, as in Hamburg, then?
i'm from Thurrock, Essex. i'm told that thurrock used to refer to the cesspit in the old sailing ships. not sure if it's true, but would be quite apt.
currently living in Munich, which in german is called München and refered to by proper Bavarians as Minga, which is nice.
Posted 1 year ago # -
We used to say Shepton Mallet as if it were a French name. It's fairly amusing.
Posted 1 year ago # -
born Leeds. Brought up Wakey with 1 year in the hole that makes Dewsbury look nice, Batley.
Uni Bradford, now live in Baildon.
I'm reet well travelled, me, I've been all across West Yorkshire
Posted 1 year ago #
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