No need to spend billions bombing the middle east back to the stone age
True - the Scottish way would be to discretely encourage Israel and Iran to do it for us; it's cheaper, less work and once they've irradiated the Iranian oilfields for several generations, the value of North Sea oil is going to rocket. Then, we'll subtly pin the blame on the English and let everyone love us for our boozy charm, kilts and the mystery of "what lies beneath".
Let's face facts here; if you have a look at the history of the Empire, it's been Scots who have built most of it, we've run the UK for large chunks of our combined history and, as the Sassenachs are only now just cottoning on, we've been syphoning the profits north of the border for years. Yet despite having robbed and pillaged our way round the globe for several centuries, everyone loves us!
You can be damn sure that we're still one step ahead of you, so you might as well just pipe down and accept what's coming - we promise to phone once in a while