I can’t believe JunkDeLuxe has just done a flouncette. 😯

Who days he’s known to the police? The police, or other people? When I was about 13/14 I hung around with lots of older lads, we used to smoke and drink, smoke weed. I think, as others have said they weren’t that good around people their own age. However, if he is genuinely known to the police because he’s a peodophile it’s a totally different game. But is he? At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

Why? Any reason for such rudeness?

Just guess elfie, but perhaps because the OP sees this as a serious and worrying subject – and not one to joke about ?

I was in a similar situation at probably a slightly younger age than your son. In hindsight I wish my father had gone around my friends house to speak to their parents and then gone to speak to both the police and the 18 year olds parents. You may not only be saving your son from abuse but also this 18 year old from turning into a proper weirdo. It needs stopping by the weekend.

Excellent tazzy – have you run our of responses – oddly i saw him for the first time today at work what a patronising cock.

Ooh, this one looks interesting…

Just guess elfie, but perhaps because the OP is sees this as a serious and worrying subject – and not one to joke about ?

Well based on the initial info, tbh it seemed little more than parents perhaps being a bit overly concerned and over-protective.

Now, there appears to be other info which for whatever reason the OP decided to keep to themselves initiially.

However, if he is genuinely known to the police because he’s a peodophile it’s a totally different game. But is he? At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

I’m struggling to imagine that the police would knowingly let a ‘known paedophile’ hang around with kids. In fact if the lad actually had any convictions, then I’m sure there would be all sorts of legal barriers that would prevent him from doing so. The fact there there does not in any way appear to be, may suggest that he’s not considered a ‘threat’.

Not trying to be obtuse, just trying to understand what might actually be the reality. As are others, who are offering their own experiences of childhood, and suggesting things may not actually be as bad as they seem.

Because personally, I think the truth is what’s important here, as unfounded suspicion can lead to all sorts of problems.

Elf. This is not really an appropriate arena for you to demonstrate how clever you are.

I am disclosing as much as I can in order to try and gain some advice. There are some scared people who have asked me for help. I, in turn, not having a **** clue what to do am asking the STW Hive Mind for help.

Thanks for your considered opinion. I’ll pass it on. I’m sure that it will help.

At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

This.

OP, I sympathise with your situation but if you’re worried, have a chat with your local bobby about it. There should be contact details for him somewhere you can access. You’re never going to get everyone on stw to be fully supportive. Be it through pure truculence or more liberal viewpoints than yours.

Personally, threatening him or organising a lunch mob isn’t the answer. Why don’t you have a (for want of a better phrase) a man-to-man chat with your lad? Explain your concerns, etc.

If it was such a serious situation, would you really waste time with your child’s life, by voicing your concerns on the phone to a friend, i know i wouldn’t.

If you have any proof go to the police.

If they don’t have any proof, but in the back of their mind they know as a parent somethings not right, then go and have a quite word with the lad concerned, and make him understand he is not to speak to his son again.

Thanks for the patronising sarcastic bollx reply.
Makes me laugh when people ask for advice, and then slate people who give advice they don’t like, or make comments they disagree with???

(if you would like to let me know what you want my opinion to be, I’ll try to be more accommodating in future 🙄 )

So, now you are starting to give more details rather than just saying “known to the police” while tapping your nose and winking 🙄

So where did the “known to the police” info come from then ?
From the Police ?
Or local gossip ?

Coyote. If all there is is vague allegations and whispers against this chap then legally there would seem to be little you can do. My guess would be he is a social inadequate hence liking the company of kids.

ground the 14 yr old / talk with him / give him advise.

I don’t know what else you could do really

I do know that a serious allegation has been made by a minor

When I was about 16 or so, I was jumped and given a proper kicking by a lad I hung around with, and some other lads, cos his sister claimed I’d touched her up on a youth club trip. I was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault after my mum went to the police to report the beating I’d had (I told her not to). Locked up, questioned repeatedly.

Fortunately loads of people including youth workers made statements backing me up, then the girl admitted she’d made the whole thing up. Turned out she had issues stemming from an event in her childhood which I won’t go into. Her brother was in bits at what he’d done to me, but I forgave him as I’d have done the same thing for sure.

I know how it feels to be accused of something so f-ing horrible, to have people think you’re proper scum. Even now it makes me angry that I was accused of something I would never do.

Hence why I’m suggesting it might be best to find out as much as poss, and involve the proper agencies, and have some faith at least in the judicial system.

So, forgive me for not making the noises you want to hear.

The thing is a lot of us have bothered to offer advice, based on our experiences of life, and all you have offered is ridicule and telling us we are wrong, life is not like a maths question where its right or wrong, but a mixture of emotions,skills and hopefully people willing to listen and offer advice,sometimes mistakes are made, sometimes the correct route is choosen, thats the strange thing about humans we make mistakes in freindships, thats why there is very accrimonious divorces, or relationship breakdowns. just what dont you understand about that.

I feel so sorry for the lads involved, whatever the outcome its going to have a possibly major effect on their future lives and relationships.

Well that just wasted 5 minutes.

I’d hope my folks would be open and honest about any info regarding someone I knew. Speaking from bitter experience here. Get it in the open and if need be get the police involved.

I find it really sad that people are branded a pervert for, what would appear to be, rumour and gossip. Just imagine you were on the receiving end of such rumour – how would this make you feel? Innocent until proven guilty etc etc.

If you have concerns, talk to your son. You can’t talk to the 18 year old – he’s done nothing wrong (yet?).

Yes, I am a dad, my kids are 18,20,22 – they hang around with all ages from 15 – 30. I would hate to have the tabloid paranoia that everyone who talks to a youngster is a potential paedo – it’s this that makes blokes (and women) ignore crying kids in the supermarket.

Thanks to those who have offered genuine advice. Junkyard, funkymonkey, boxelder, DD and TJ. It is very appreciated despite differences we may have had in the past.

As I said, I can’t disclose all the facts as this is a public forum but I’m glad that Elf has had the opportunity to demonstrate his sharp wit. You really are an egomaniacal ****.

If you have concerns, talk to your son

Read the OP. It’s not my son.

MODS please close and delete. I was hoping for more.

14 year old boys, friends parents need notifying asap.

18 year old sounds like a social outcast, if not something worse.

personal solution would be a visit to the 18year old to tell him in a sensible manner, he’s not to hang round with the 14 year olds anymore.

You have to ask why the 14 year olds want to hang round with him, place to sit off, ciggys, booze, bit of weed? thats the likely reason, 18 year olds reason could be he is socially retarded, or as mentioned, something worse…

Read the OP. It’s not my son.

Sorry, had forgotten your OP by the time I wrote my last bit. Hope it works out. Just be calm and measured. Don’t do anything to land yourself in a pile of shite.

Has your friend tried being the parent and saying “You wont associate with that human being.” ?

Some facts would be handy, don’t want to teach the kid that the tabloid approach is the way forward.

Obviously you and your friend may have more facts, but there aren’t many here to go on.

It’s not unusual to know older/younger people.

Coyote – Member

Thanks to those who have offered genuine advice. Junkyard, funkymonkey, boxelder, DD and TJ. It is very appreciated despite differences we may have had in the past.

Its where STW comes good.

I’m glad that Elf has had the opportunity to demonstrate his sharp wit. You really are an egomaniacal ****.

Pfft.

I’ve offered my own views on this, as have others who seem to echo my own thoughts, in an attempt to look at the whole picture, rather than making the mistake of being reactionary and blind to the truth, and all you can do is insult me?

You’re out of order.

Good night.

Oh, and PS: I hope you’re never in a position where you’re accused of such horrible things that you haven’t done, as I’d not wish that experience on anyone who wasn’t deserving of it.

I’ve offered my own views on this, as have others who seem to echo my own thoughts, in an attempt to look at the whole picture, rather than making the mistake of being reactionary and blind to the truth, and all you can do is insult me?

good lord I agree with ELF 😯

I’d just put a blocker on it mate. I’d tell the 14 year old not to hang around with the 18 year old any more and I’d pay a visit to the 18 year old. Nothing agressive, just ‘do you realise how it looks you hanging around 14 year olds. I’d call that stuff off before people get the wrong idea.’

Maybe add a capiche on the end.

What advice do you want? Lots of views have been offered, some of which may reflect your own, but if you are expecting more, more of what exactly?

Project, not sure where you are going with this but did you miss the bit about “known to the police”.

This isn’t a troll and I would really appreciate some good advice.

Known to the police doesn’t mean anything, I’m known to the police for using my phone while driving. If there’s no evidence there’s no evidence, you’ve no right to go throwing around accusations and people threatening violence need to get a grip. As someone who’s worked with 14-16 year olds and had female ones get odd crushes on them, I can confirm lots of unpleasant accusations get thrown around, even in jest by family/friends, which is funny and fine until someone takes it out of context.

Why cant you give all the information? The forum is public, but your not going to name him.

This would worry me enormously.

i would have a word with the 18yr old, telling him that i would be paying him a visit one night if i found out anything dodgy happened.

As ton is quite vocal in his defence of not being violent to the point of being offended, I have to question what his plans are for this nocturnal visit. 😯