This came to me yesterday evening, after an audiovisual equipment malfunction:

“A watched Sky box never reboots”

We’re up the universe without a thruster

A play and pause saves buffering

Having a P will not improve your posts.

“Don’t stick your todger in a blender without first checking it’s unplugged”.

Don’t know in what circumstances you’d use it, mind…

Do not read the comments…

The person sitting behind the keyboard is mightier than the psycho with the automatic rifle.

In my day we fought with fists, not caps lock.

knowledge isn’t power

To err is human, to repent divine; to persist trollish

Two wrongs don’t make a multi page thread

A penny saved is… still pretty much worthless.

The love of bitcoin is the root of the Dark Web

Eat, drink and be diabetic.

Michelin tyres go before a fall

There is nothing new under the sun. Rule 34.

Make hay while the sun shines and definitely before you post a picture of your bike. Your fence could be doing with a lick of paint as well.

“Never judge a man poster until you’ve walked a mile wee’d in his shoes.”

Too many cooks spoil the schedule.

You can take a horse to water but it’s best to inject it into pigs.

There’s no smoke, it’s water vapour.

The road to hell is paved with Shellgrip.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can be misconstrued as a hate crime.

He who shouts loudest is POTUS

Red sky at night, it’s probably the North Koreans.

Do unto others, because you’re worth it.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you’ll need a risk assessment.

Children should be seen and not left in a holiday apartment whilst you go out with your mates.

an Apple a day will bankrupt you in under a week

We were better off without the EU.

Pride comes before a fall that wasn’t your fault? call now on 0800054120210

The man who moves a mountains begins by abolishing the Environmental Protection Agency.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make a lasagna out of it

The early bird gets the footballer.

Oi Binners,do some research. 😉

Findus Special

It all goes to prove: power sends you mad; absolute power creates a weird haircut.

He who rofls last lmfao’s.

Appropriated pot calling the kettle blackface

Memes speak louder than words.

Better safe than sued

Beware of Geeks bearing gifts

You can’t have your cake and not develop Type 2 Diabetes

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you’ll need a risk assessment.

brilliant

Copy the wrong keyring at you peril.
Decorate in haste, repaint at leisure.

One man’s trash can be sold for good money on ebay

“One person’s meat is another person’s horse.”

“Don’t cast your pearls on Snapchat.”

“Eat to live, and not live to eat shitloads.”

“Beware of Greeks bearing assurances regarding governmental debt to GDP ratio.”