Lame TV of your childhood

With I’m Nearly A Celebrity And Will Eat Kangaroo Anus To Boost My CV imminent and Dancing On ****ing Ice looming like a planet killing asteroid I think it is time that we remember the golden age of really crap television.

I would like to offer up Oskar, Kina and The Laser. The story of a boy, his goose and a talking laser. A program that reminds me of rainy mornnings during 1970s school holidays.

The BFI plot synopsis is as follows…

Oscar, a boy from Barcelona, builds a home-made laser ray machine, and with his friend a goose, Kina, sets off to Galicia to rescue a boy kidnapped by a mob of baddies. The laser machine has a personality of its own, and enables Oscar to become invisible at crucial moments …

Bad TV just isn’t what it used to be.

The ‘Red hand gang’ and then in the school holidays the worst of all TV ‘Why don’t you’ … rubbish!

But some TV was so lame it was good, like Thunderbirds or Stingray…

[edit] there’s more pyrotechnics than I remember.

I still find it staggering that after a bain-storming session at the BBC to discuss their flagship Saturday night prime-time show, someone suggested “why not get a racist, sexist homophobic bigot, who’s about as funny as cancer to front it!”

The Flashing Blade!

There was a fault which meant that there was a considerable loss of picture in the twelth and final episode but they bought and showed it anyway. What a fantastic lack of respect for the viewer! 😀

Keep ’em coming!

Seriously, no matter how bad it was, can anyone honestly say any of it was worse than the f*cking X factory and other such assorted Saturday evening toss?

Anyone remember Scavengers?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scavengers_(game_show)

Loved it at the time 😉

I never understood the love for:

Grange Hill
T-Bag or T-Shirt or whatever the fun it was called
Why Don’t You?
Byker Grove

There. I said it.

Grange Hill
T-Bag or T-Shirt or whatever the fun it was called
Why Don’t You?
Byker Grove

Im with you Ox. Live action drama of working class (usually northern) children misbehaving? That’s not entertainment.

froths in rage at Stoner 😉
Ps well done

Littlest Hobo
Big John Little John [ what a way to grow]
Rentaghost – just did not like it

give ’em knives and then film them. That’s entertainment.

Transformers cartoons from the 80s – used to love them as a kid but having bought them recently on DVD for my son (who loves the current generation of Transformers), I can see that they’re really rubbish – crap animation, odd plots, etc. He loves them, mind…

The transformers movie (80s again) is even more strange, plot-wise.

Oscar, Kina and the Laser looks like something I wooduv enjoyed actually. Like something a kid themselves would have dreamed up. About friendship, adventure and helping others. Good stuff.

The worst stuff I can remember was Transformers, He-Man and all the other ‘advertising merchandise’ type crap that seemed to be rife in the 80s, to the detriment of decent kids’ telly. Just encouraged consumerism, and din’t help stretch kids’ imaginations in any genuinely positive manner.

Sadly that seems to be the model for success; saw some little kids yesterday, singing ‘Bob the Builder’. Whilst their parents were busy shopping for crap they don’t need instead of sitting reading a book with them or doing something constructive.

For them, it’s sadly already too late. 😥

😀

I never quite got The Flumps, always more a Cosgrove Hall fan.

what do you mean strange makes perfect sense to me that transformer film…..impressive list of voice actors though

Rubbish but I watched it cos my mum’s cousin played the dad.

Jossy’s giants was also immensely bad.

Oh and The Crystal Maze is/was awesome. I still sometimes watch repeats on Challenge TV 😆

[flashback]

[/flashback]

‘Why don’t you’

The irony* of it – telling kids not to sit watching the telly on a television programme.

*Okay, not *real* irony, more the Alanis Morissette brand of *nearly irony*.

But lame television for me?

But I hated most ITV stuff back then as I do now.

Always had a love hate relationship with the weird euro import series that were on TV on saturday mornings (i think?) and holidays

like the boy who lost his laugh and heidi and silas:

Does anybody remember a series called Rebound (circa 1981) about two teens; a boy and a girl who were into gymnastics? I think they solved crimes / mysteries and used their gymnastic skills to getoutof sticky situations.

Junkyard – Member
what do you mean strange makes perfect sense to me that transformer film…..impressive list of voice actors though

More the 80s experimental music and themes that went with it than the film content itself… Very impressive voice-over cast indeed. It was Orson Welles’ last film apparently.

saw some little kids yesterday, singing ‘Bob the Builder’. Whilst their parents were busy shopping for crap they don’t need instead of sitting reading a book with them or doing something constructive.

Believe it or not sometimes parents do have to go to the shops and children like playing with toys.
Surely if we all stopped buying crap we didn’t really need then our sport would be dead on its arse.

The Railway Children – I never watched a full episode as they used to send me to sleep. Just thinking about it is making me tired, zzzz!

Anyone remember Nightmare?

Badly executed virtual reality, one kid weard a helmet (blindfold), the others tell him what to do for half an hour whilst the creepy uncle/knight character goads them on.

Yeah, always looked quite cool until you realised that it was just game of kids shouting

forward, back, left, right, quick, nooooooooooooooooo! 🙂

Are you mad? Knightmare was tremendous.

Spellcasting: dee eye ess, em eye ess ess…

*runs off to start a Treguard Appreciation Society*

Cougar – Member

Are you mad? Knightmare was tremendous.

Spellcasting: dee eye ess, em eye ess ess…

*runs off to start a Treguard Appreciation Society*
Hell yes. Superb intro music too.

sorry clubber i missed a wink it is bonkers but my kids love it
Annoyingly the toys are marketed at kids and the films are a 12
We have to play transformers all the time

Rentaghost
The Ghosts of Motley Hall

Both completely dull and generally **** shit IMO.

I know I will get lynched but watching the Sweeney and The Professionals now makes you realise that they’ve not aged well.

The professionals was gay man love and gurning, but the worst was starsky and hutch . I’m sure all the huffing and chuffing and rolling over cars was just foreplay for a big , cardigan clad cuddle and homeo erratic smoochles . not to mention the hard to spot car and stereotype black dude pimp .gold

I never understood why this went out at weekends. It was pants as well.

also pants

I remember this being drilled into us at school (on the telly on a big stand with wheels on and doors on the front)

I HATED that bast**d bear. I was scared of that blue thing with twigs sticking out of its head too.

Just remembered this;

the little kid in the dungaree’s doesn’t half look like my 2 kids did at that age 🙂