Graphene frame (look it up, it’s the shizzle), which would also have the capacity to house computer magic bits in the fabric of the frame. Therefore computer display in the toptube. It lights up too, with the capacity for internal battery holding in the tubing for night duty.
Non stick mud ejecting coating, vast tyre clearance and a gizmo which adjusts the BB height without adjusting the travel front or back.
Half rear end like a lefty (it’s graphene, so 200 times stronger than steel) with adjustable geometry allowing different wheel sizes to be used without needing wasted frame; longer travel 26″ or shorter 29″. Twinned with an adjustable height fork you’ve got a lot of options. Nothing clamping around the frame, everything integrated. Cables/hoses internally routed (but easy to replace/adjust).
Well, while I’m inventing: my name on the inside of the chainstay (in that safe but slightly radioactive glow in the dark stuff). Concealed drivetrain and flared tubing to function as mudguards, it would be a crime to attach them to such a beast.
Pure adjustable stealth 😈