Help me get revenge.

I store butter at work in a communal fridge. Some knerbhed keeps helping himself to it.

What can I introduce to the butter to give anybody who uses it, the raving shits? 👿

Put in Tupperware box. Photo of you rubbing it on your rear sellotaped to box.

This problem is surely more easily solved without resorting to juvenile nonsense.

Leave an apologetic note on it explaining how the thief may have found a pubic hair between their teeth since your mansack / butter fetish has risen to new levels.

This problem is surely more easily solved without resorting to juvenile nonsense.

🙄

the problem is you’ve no defence against the other person taking similar actions in the future.

It’ll escalate and you’ll be at Defcon 1 and spraying Picolax over the contents of the fridge before you know it.

A friend got burgled and the Police advised them to check the house over very carefully as burglars often left a “calling card” in the shape of a steaming turd in a random place.

Some days later it became apparent that they’d scooped the contents out of the margarine tub in the fridge, dumped in it, then carefully put the marg back in.

Not the sort of thing you want to discover whilst buttering your toast.

This problem is surely more easily solved without resorting to juvenile nonsense.

Are you new here?

Sounds to me like the copper knew too much.

Leave a DVD of last tango in Paris.

Some days later it became apparent that they’d scooped the contents out of the margarine tub in the fridge, dumped in it, then carefully put the marg back in.

Urban myth been doing the rounds since at least the 90s…

twinw4ll, you wouldn’t happen to work with Mr Woppit by any chance?

melt it, fill it with chili flakes or pepper. lots of pepper. fridge it.

Leave a note saying:

“Mr Woppit’s chamois butter, consume at your own risk”?

kudos – Member

A friend got burgled and the Police advised them to check the house over very carefully as burglars often left a “calling card” in the shape of a steaming turd in a random place.

Some days later it became apparent that they’d scooped the contents out of the margarine tub in the fridge, dumped in it, then carefully put the marg back in.

Not the sort of thing you want to discover whilst buttering your toast.

I was going to make a comment about the marmite being off, but I’m not sure you’d notice the difference 😀

Just buy a catering box of butter/marg sachets and take a couple in a day.

Or..picolax!

I posted what i though would get a reaction, in reality i would set up a cam, then when i found out who it was begin a campaign of revenge worthy of a Michael Winner movie.

Put a note on it saying
“This is not communal butter, it belongs to MR Woppit. If you like butter so much buy your own. While your in the shop buy me a couple of bars to replace the ones you took as it’s not cheap. Many thanks.”

Slice it 10mm off the top,with a bit of wire, manky condom sandwich, smooth over the sides. 8)

Anyway sounds trolly, who the **** keeps butter in fridge?

wwaswas – Member
the problem is you’ve no defence against the other person taking similar actions in the future.

Yeah, true. Shame… 🙁

plyphon – Member
melt it, fill it with chili flakes or pepper. lots of pepper. fridge it.

Like it! Might take the chance. 😀

cbmotorsport – Member
Just buy a catering box of butter/marg sachets and take a couple in a day.

Sensible. Probably go for it. 😉

Leave a note saying:

” Do not take any of this butter,God is watching you “

Leave a note on the milk:

” Use as much as you want,God is watching the butter”

“Mr Woppit’s chamois butter, consume at your own risk”?

Risky strategy. Just makes it sound like an irresistible deli item.

Careful you don’t cross the line into administering a poisonous or noxious substance with intent.

I don’t think you’d fair too well up the Big House, Mr Woppit 😀

I don’t think you’d fair too well up the Big House, Mr Woppit

Why? Is there a big communal fridge?

I’d hate to work somehwere where colleagues didn’t get on well enough to share stuff.

small lockable cash tin type box for butter with label along the lines ‘Its my butter sucker, go buy your own!!’

For context, a Habanero pepper is 150,000- 500,000 scoville.

Weirdly, it does not taste of anything in particular. Bit hot, mind…

Melt butter and recast into a non-standard shape.
Choose the right shape and nobody will touch your knob
of butter.

Also daft stuff usually ends up in a heap of trouble so just be careful what you actually do. Probably best mention it to your boss that you’re pissed off someone’s taking it and let them deal with it.

I worked in one place where someone kept messing with my food in the fridge – cheese squeezed hard, apples bitten, bread torn, etc. got really annoying, and my boss was totally unconcerned.

Then one of the young admin/service girls admitted to her (gossipy) friend that it was her, so I found out, as did the rest of the office. No reason was given, but she was a total idiot, so one wasn’t really needed.
Again my boss was totally unconcerned, even when I put in a formal complaint.

So it was unfortunate that all of her records and data for a whole month became corrupted/lost/wrongly entered, and she lost out on her yearly bonus. There was no connection to me being the database manager, oh no 😈

Buy unsalted butter. Add your own salt.

I’d hate to work somehwere where colleagues didn’t get on well enough to share stuff.

Sharing is great when it’s reciprocated. You obviously haven’t worked alongside a total taker who never actually contributes, never puts stuff into the middle and is quite happy to constantly use this and that.

Anyway sounds trolly, who the **** keeps butter in fridge?

Eh?

I’d leave the Elephant in the fridge next time.

Stick a label on it saying ‘not for oral use’

Play the long game, wait for them to get heart disease.

begin a campaign of revenge worthy of a Michael Winner movie.

Makes me feel quite ill, anyway