"why is it that all Specialized 'Body Geometry' stuff somehow fails to ever fit my body so…?"
Maybe your using the wrong size? Theres 2 or 3 different sit bone spacing sizes for each saddle they make. If your sit bones are an extreme spacing for eg and you've only ever tried the 'average' size then of course you won't get on.
Go into a specialized dealer and get measured
I didn't get on with an SDG Bel-Air Ti, too narrow and 'pointy'. Lacking in width over enough of its length. For hovering over the saddle descending though I think they are a bit more out the way than some others
I get on with specialized though
WTB Speed Vs are okay, but are bum-numingly wide for any length of sat down riding