Orange Subzero in Bristol

…an astonishing grasp of the queens English!

awesome – and to think that 'idjeet' will be breeding more 'idjeets' too!

Look at the seller's profile picture. If that person wrote that listing then we should not mock, she's well ahead of her age group. 🙂

An astonishing commentary on the British school system.

happy bedding boys an girls

oh nos! it gets awesomer! pure speed wellies!

that spelling has hurt my head

Wots softwear 4 beding I wont 2 wotch & bed @larst minnit nede nuw bik thats wikid awsum dreme bik

Disgusting. I could happily strangle this chav and feel no remorse.

wot do we have here thin?

Flatfish – Me too. I just can't make head nor tail of it in places… 🙁

surely thats a wind up?

I love the idea of buying a DIY motorised bike built by someone who seems to be permanently concussed… I might just put in a bid…

I feel really out of breath! Not a single item of punctuation in the whole piece. Now for my pipe and slippers…

that cant be right, a newt wouldnt be selling a bike.
i am going into bristol tonight so may hunt him down with a decent spaniel and then beat him to within an inch of his life with a large halibut, good god!

So, Mark_Datz lives in Bristol then?

Edit: 'kin hell

hi there wot do we have here thin

well its hand belt an a act off pure madnis this bike is kapeaball off ecseedin the speed off 50mph on a normall day unbalivble try it in the sun an ull ecspiriunce pure speed wellies an speeds 0ff 65 + you can not match the pedal power two the engin makeing last geer fell like fisrt geer again .

is that for real? i think he must have serious learning problems.

£60 postage!!!

No mention of frame size (looks tiny), forks are U-turn by the look of it not 130mm travel as stated.

Very dodgy but at least she has a 90 feedback score, all positive.

Again, if people who spell like this are really out there and breeding it is very scary indeed….

It's odd. He (?) just cannot or will not spell English words the way most of us usually do, but the language is quite fluent.

"Hand built as an act of pure madness, this bike is capable of exceeding 50mph on a normal day – unbelievable! Try it in the sun and experience pure speed wellies" (I don't know what a speed welly is…)

…isn't a bad bit of sales patter. Someone who had any bother thinking wouldn't be writing that I don't think. 🙂

Thanks for the translation BD, I'll keep you in mind next time I get stuck… 😉

Happy bedding.

That's a nice thought, anyway.

Nothing good can come out of Yate. As an office dweller on the edge of time, I try my best to avoid the natives around the centre…. 😉

Y do peepel sey bristol is bad busses r nais and their r baloons

The recycle bin on the second go-kart picture may explain a lot.

WTF http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/engin-push-bike-33-cc_W0QQitemZ330415993195QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Bikes_GL?hash=item4cee53f16b#ht_613wt_907

And now I have to explain to my boss why I need a new keyboard (typing/10am tea interface fail)… But srsly, is that frame for an Umpa-Lumpa?!?!? I'll put me mum on the table to bet that it's as hot as hell… 😀

The Orange description says only bis over £350 accepted.

Hmmm. It took my £5 bid OK. Lets see what happens.

well its hand belt an a act off pure madnis this bike is kapeaball off ecseedin the speed off 50mph on a normall day unbalivble try it in the sun an ull ecspiriunce pure speed wellies an speeds 0ff 65 + you can not match the pedal power two the engin makeing last geer fell like fisrt geer again .

It's as if another language is evolving right before my eyes……

I've heard of 'Spanlish' and 'Chinglish' – WTF is this? Twatlish?

DrP

could be dyslexic, there are a few people on my FB who speak in text talk and this kind of language. they are council estate single mother slags.

or polish there are a few at work and they are shit at spelling is shit!

Both ads say "happy bedding" – I'm guessing they are the same person

Both ads say "happy bedding" – I'm guessing they are the same person

but the baby clothes and games are spelt right. maybe two people are selling inder the same account.

…selling inder the same account…

Is one of them you 😉

DrP

Gotta get me some speed wellies 😀

i didn't say i was perfect! anyway the I is next to the U on the keyboard my fingers are too big.

please forgive me.

Didn't b@stard Blair say "education,education,education" a few years ago….?

This takes the p*ss. Ive reported suspect bikes to ebay in the past, and all i have got is an automated response to phone the Police. Like thats going to make any difference.

Ebay seem to be happy to allow the sale of stolen/suspect goods IMO. Ok they cant vet every item listed, but it doesnt take a genius to read that description and realise some owning a bicycle worth over a grand would describe it better than that…. 😕

some owning a bicycle worth over a grand would describe it better than that..

Does this mean your bike cost 50p? 😛

Hacked account? – mumsophie is selling clothes, puts the same simple description on most things. Then there's some stuff that could be a bit dodgy, descriptions in completely different style (and not just different to the rest of the English writing world).

If you read them in a Jamaican patois style, as you might expect what with Bristol having a large Caribbean community, they makes a lot more sense. Actually I quite like it 🙂

He states the wheel size is 16 inch, the frame is 26 inch and its green…new clown bike??
edit: i may be colour blind but isnt that black?