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Hi all,
Regular poster here, but would rather not use my usual username.
Basically over the past few months I've been feeling pretty down, for a great variety of reasons. Spent Christmas alone for first time ever (family were away and had a few offers from friends I didn't take up), work issues, and a wee health scare, plus the weather being so bad.
Then a couple of weeks ago I split up with the girl I was seeing, it wasn't serious but its really pushed me over the edge, for reasons I'm not sure why (been ditched many a time!). Spent the last 2 weeks moping round, feel like nothing to look forward to and life is just passing me by. At times I've felt like crying (in fact I did the other day). Can't get my head to gether at work either which has gone unnoticed thus far but won't forever.
Anyhow, I've got a history of having a few 'issues', really bad OCD etc, but never felt like this. I have good mates, no financial issues, but I feel miserable, lonely, just want to drink, and from the moment I get up I can't wait for the day to be over so I can go back to sleep.
Anyhow, excuse the ramblings, but the STW masses usually come up with some good advice. I'm thinking Docs is a good starting point, but half of me thinks I should MTFU and get on with things.
Thanks
No mate, you're depressed. See your doc.
Plenty to do about it, all the best.
MTFU and talk to your dr. everything seems worse this time of year, but if it is developing into a problem you want to get it beaten before the sun comes out. You may well come out of this slump by yourself, but you may as well get a little help along the way.
For reference, I have recently self referred to CBT, it ws frightening taking the first step, but actually admitting it ight be a problem rather than stewing it over in my head made me feel a bit better straight away.
Talk to your GP. Sounds like you've had plenty of triggers to get you down but from here it's impossible to say whether this is a blip or something bigger. Worst case is you get medical advice to MTFU. If you just lump it for now there's a chance that Ming TFU could work, or a chance that things decline further...
+1 for CBT.
The MTFU bit is getting to the doc and insisting on the CBT, it can be difficult to get on a course. Do it. It makes a massive difference.
Good luck mate.
Mtfu is pretty overrated, at least in my opinion. This does sound like depression, and perhaps seeing your GP should be your next step. In the short term, he or she may prescribe anti depressants, which might help, but some sort of counselling / talking therapy may be more useful in the long term. Keep up with the biking, weather permitting, and try not to isolate yourself.
Your doctor is a good starting point, and MTFU is terrible advice for depression.
Exercise has good effects on mood, as can any kind of expressive or creative activity. If you go onto anti-depressants, it might take a while to find the right one for you. They can also take a few weeks to properly kick in.
I know quite a lot of people who've suffered depression, and spent a lot of my own childhood and teens depressed. Different things worked for all of us. Some are on anti-depressants. One found that learning Buddhist meditation really helped. Others needed counselling. For me, it was writing about it for years, just to get it out.
Good luck fella. It can be a long, slow and frustrating path, but there's help out there, and it can get better.
Have you tried dragging your best/most trusted mate out to the pub and talking about it. Just try to keep the drink to a minimum.
CBT? You want the OP to pass his Scooter test?
+3 Docs. First step is you are talking about it and not in denial
Sounds familiar.
I had a lot of luck with a light box, one of these is one chez APF all through the winter.
[url= http://www.sad.org.uk/recommended.php ]Clicky[/url]
Best of luck
APF
go to docs, try and get out and do something, i know this weather doesn't help. Exercise does help though.
I would suggest that though therapy might be nice to have the waiting time means it is unlikely to be much help! If you go down the antidepressants route, some don't suit some people so don't be afraid to go back to the doctors.
I could also mention that this time of year is probably the worst time, as i understand ceratonine levels in the brain are at there lowest now, hence the SAD thing as well.
CBT? You want the OP to pass his Scooter test?
[url= http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx ]Cognitive behavioural therapy.[/url]
MTFU doesn't always mean 'pretend there's nothing wrong'. It can apply equally as well to mean take a look at where you are, then decide that if you need help or advice go and get it and don't fanny about.
So MTFU, [b]and[/b] go get some advice and help. It's not a weakness to admit this sort of stuff!
Mtfu is pretty overrated, at least in my opinion
Sometimes it's the best advice in the world.
Sometimes it's the worst.
See the quack.
If anyone tells you to mtfu over a possible mental health issue, do something mental to their health, it is idiocy.
and MTFU is exactly what you have to do. Accept you have a problem, and you are not wasting your time, your not wasting the doctors time, you have every right to help. It is an illness, nothing more nothing less.
Please go to your GP. There's no need to MTFU. Depression is an illness, not a weakness and it doesn't descriminate. Medication and/or CBT is very effective for treat in depression and OCD. If you haven't been clinically diagnosed for OCD then ask your GP if you can be reffered for an assessment.
You will get better. I wish you all the best.
Don't be tempted to mistake normal and healthy mourning/grief for clinical depression. With it only being a couple of weeks, you're well within the grief period and its normal and healthy to feel like this after a trauma.
Given you say you have a history, then certianly be aware of it dragging on and not improving, but you can't rush it. Like they've always said, time is a great healer.
I give this advice on my experience. I went to the doctors after a lot of thinking about whether or not I was depressed or just being miserable. Anyway I was told had depression and it was either counselling or the pills. I don't do medication, not even paracetamol for headache and counselling wasn't in my mind set at the time. I then found a book called Challenging Depression and Despair. In a simple form it tells you to MTFU but gives advise on how to do it. I've not felt this good in a long time, clear thinking and trying new things. Best £6 I've spent in a long time. Hope it could help you like it did me.
Sounds like depression fella. Can happen to anyone, but lots of things you can do about it 🙂
Try getting out on your bike - don't over do it, but get out if you can.
I found Paul Gilberts audio cd extremely helpful to put it into perspective and help with ideas on ways through 🙂
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Depression-Talks-Your-Therapist/dp/1845298187
Mtfu in this case means talk to your gp. You sound like you are suffering from depression, and he can help.
Having been in a position in the past whereby despite a 'happy' home life I ended up frozen in my car unable to get out and go to work, I know it is easy to talk yourself into just toughing it out until you can't take any more.
Even though my dad took his own life when I was a toddler because of depression I refused to recognize the signs until it was having a dramatic effect on my ability to function in a 'normal' way. Don't be like me, get help as soon as you can.
It's not a sign of failure of weakness to ask for help, it's the best thing to do.
Good luck bud.
GP and tell them how you feel - let them make the diagnosis...
I highly recommend CBT - the world would be a far happier place if everyone did it. It can be a really positive experience as you let a lot of stuff go...
And obviously riding your bike 🙂
GP as the first port of call. You don't say whether you are able to get out for leisure activity nor if you are looking after yourself (eating regularly, shaving, getting your hair cut that sort of thing). If any of the list apply or other things you normally would do are missing you may well be quite a way down.
Talk to your mates and family. Work may need to know as it's recognised as being within the scope of DDA and you are entitled to reasonable adaptation of your work while you get it under control.
Good luck with it all and get to your doctor, tomorrow or Monday. You'll probably get offered some time off, don't be afraid to take it if only to get some quiet mid-week trails in.
Sorry, but as well meaning though the GP advice may be, unless you're having suicidal/serious anger issues, my advice would not to be to go to the GP.
A trip to the GP would see you with a prescription with anti-depressants, and although they do have their place, they are unfortunately given out like smarties and often result in an unnecessary journey of mild addiction.
It may sound daft, and I may be wrong, but you actually sound from your OP like a well adjusted person. Life is shit sometimes, and you won't be the first to find yourself thinking "bloody hell, am I actually [b]depressed[/b]?"
Truth is, you're probably just fine, just going through a really shit time at the moment, and oddly for the second time tonight, I find myself suggesting that you just allow the whole cycle of shitty life-change go over you. Be happy, then be down, then bury yourself in a bottle of something, and then be annoyed at yourself the following day.
I am not even slightly medically qualified, but we're all better for not being dependent on drugs, which sadly your GP will prescribe.
If you want to natter about shit, my email is in profile. Bonus if you are a builder/plumber as I need them right now 😉
Your OCD is fine, everything that defines you is fine, you're just in a bit of a dark place, and my guess is you'll pull yourself out of it just dandy.
I've just started CBT. Went to the gp and really wanted them to tell me to go away and that I was fine but I had a therapy session booked in a week so it doesn't have to take long. Just starting it has helped. Its about coping with the current situation so you can move on. It won't sort your problems but you have to be able to cope to fix your problems. My fingers are crossed it works for me. Oh and as soon as you tell people close to you you'll find loads of your friends have been treated for depression too.
Sorry, but as well meaning though the GP advice may be, unless you're having suicidal/serious anger issues, my advice would not to be to go to the GP.
That I'm afraid is incorrect, let the medic help you decide.
The failing to take proper care is more important and happened to me well before I felt suicidal. The anger was always there and eventually went away as I sank down. The dose of anti-depressants I was prescribed was low (20mg of citalopram), changed to fluoxetine as I was causing Mrs S chafing problems 😯 After some time I was on 10mg dose which I came off after 3 years, so far I haven't had a relapse as I got a hold of my life once the drugs took the edge off every day living.
Don't wait until death appears to be a good option, theres a good chance that you'll succumb to the urge after the drugs lift you up a bit giving the motivation to neck the pills or put the noose over your head. (An ex-workmate did just this 18 months ago).
bearnecessities, that's bad advice that could put genuinely depressed people at risk. There's a lot of scaremongering about anti-depressants; the picture you paint of them being handed out willy nilly and people becoming dependent on them is nothing like the cases I've seen.
OP, go get whatever support you need.
bearnecessities - MemberA trip to the GP would see you with a prescription with anti-depressants
Simply not the case, I'm sure you mean well but misinformation isn't helpful.
Bearnecesities, that's the worst shit advice I have ever seen written on STW.
OP, I feel your pain. I suffer from ultra rapid cycling bipolar and my lows sound just like what you describe. I have tried to end it twice so when some MTFU comments come up and and go to the GP comments it makes me realise how don't many arseholes post on here.
Get your arse to your gp asap. Anti depressants work if your just depressed. The only problem is finding the right ones.
Stop drinking, seriously, it will only make you worse.
CBT works for some, not for others.
I'm currently having mindfullnes therapy and acupuncture.
I'm kind of stable but bipolar is just shit.
Good luck. I know exactly how you feel.
OP reading your post reminds me of myself. I am going through similar feelings myself at the moment, different circumstances, and I have come close to asking Dr Stw for advice. I'm at a real low, the weather is not helping either!
Knowing that someone else out there has such similar feelings to me, and that you've then been offered so much support and advice from these guys, in a weird way is comforting.
One of the problems is I'm just not sleeping and so I can't function. Am I depressed or just sleep deprived and my mood is all over the place. The two things are linked but I don't know which is the root cause.
I know what I need to do, which is take some of this advice and get myself to the gp. I also need to sit down and tell my girlfriend. Both these things scare the hell out of me. Mtfu time!!
Thank you stw
Pete, I'm having trouble sleeping too and have started using YouTube sleep meditation videos to bore me back to sleep - just about to put one on now! And your gf will have noticed already and be worried whats wrong so is probably desperate to talk to you too. Just talk 🙂
one other option not mentioned is hard regular physical exercise. A well known anti depressant, cheap and effective. Helps you sleep as well and improves your riding.
Bearnecesities, that's the worst shit advice I have ever seen written on STW.
It wasn't advice, I probably shouldn't have used that world, it was a viewpoint from experience of my own and those close to me, not scaremongering or suchlike.
I did actually miss the "just want to drink" comment in OP, and I wouldn't have posted what I did, had I spotted that first time.
The safest bet is of course to go to your GP.
Apologies.
Why anonymous? There should be no stigma attached to feeling down/depressed. OP speak to the GP or anyone else who can offer help and insight. The very best to you fellah.
I don't personally don't see much merit to doctors in these situations.
Getting out of personal ruts and putting yourself in completely new situations is really good. Get your mind/senses working again. Nothing worse than being surrounded by the 'familiar' for allowing your mind to focus inwardly on your situation. Doing things completely new gets you focusing on what your doing and not your circumstances. Also if you do the unfamiliar you don't know whats around the corner and therefore allows opportunity to be optamistic.
Depending on how bad you feel, I'd recommend doing a bit of travelling.
mojo5pro - that's just bollox I'm afraid. Depression is an illness of the mind that needs diagnosis and treatment, just the same as physical illnesses do. If the OP had said they had a sore ankle that is starting to make walking impossible and sleep uncomfortable would you suggest they just ignore it and carry on trying new ways of walking until it gets better? OP needs to get medical advice and appropriate treatment, not just grin and bear it.
Bear necessities speaks the truth, as someone who worked for 6 years with people suffering depression,and saw them prescribed drugs and various treatments, they basicly dont help a lot of people, what needs to happen is you find someone you can trust and chat to them about your fears,worries etc, and one thing youll probably share with each other is most of us have the same fears and worries, which to a cetrtain extent we all control,manipulate for our own benefit.
Also strangely we had a lot of admissions between october and march, dark, cold and wet months, then the sun came out and they got discharged.
Best wishes for the future,please do feel free to visit the gp for a chat, but best to refuse all the tablets, a chat and a laugh is a beter treatment.
Thepurist...please actually read my post. In no way do I say "grin and bear it". I'm offering my advice for change. If you wish to treat depression in the same way you'd treat asore ankle then that's up to you.
ps..the OP was asking for advice/opinions. I gave mine so why do you have to be so rude by saying I'm talking "b.l.ox"
You need a little help to get you to a place in your mind to allow different situations.
If you're very low you won't go. If you go without some kind of help (therapy or medical) and some trigger makes you a lot worse. What happens then? Possibly in a country where your language skills are not so good.
I thought that Depression and Bipolar were treated by "normal" people as "crazy buggers" whereas in actual fact they are accepted as a terrible infliction that can be controlled. Left uncontrolled these illnesses kill so much people so please promise stw you go to the GP OP
Sending a hug and pat on the back as you go for a ride for fun and exercise.
See your G.P. too.
Start a fresh. Set short and long term goals.
If financial issue aren't a problem would you consider taking a couple of weeks off and heading with the bike to the Canaries or somewhere similar and just ride. It might just give you a kick start to get going again.
You aren't alone, many people including myself have been where you are.
Time to look in the mirror and decide that no more are you going to let this life pass you by..your time is now so get out there and live it.
P.S. get a puppy, nothing like a puppy to keep your mind occupied and get you out and about. You basically end up too busy to be depressed 😀
The brave bit is admitting you have a problem.
Personal experience, 20 years ago had a lot going badly in my life, very dark time - last grandparent with terminal cancer, mentor at work committed suicide after being exposed for a massive fraud, career stalled, no close friends nearby or partner. Lots of doubting me worth, right to live and lots of tears.
My employer had an occupational psychologist who was available for counselling on the side. Just a couple of sessions with him helped me open up about my problems and gain a sense of perspective and control over things again.
Within a year I'd made a fantastic career change and met the woman who is now MrsMC.
hey folks, OP here
Just wanted to say thanks for all your replies, support and suggestions. I went to the docs and I was perscribed some medication and will look at CBT as well.
Just wanted to say that in amongst all the arguing about bad drivers, merits of larger wheels etc etc there are some really good folks on here.
thanks all, really appreciate it
Good luck with it all.
Good for you.
It's not easy to do the first step.
It takes a bit of time for the pills to work but together with therapy you will start to feel a million times better.
Try and spend as much time with friends and family as you can.
They will look after you.