Cleaning Pr0n: recipes for a clean and optionally fragrant home

These recipes have my seal of approval cos they work, there’s nothing complicated about them, they’re not time-consuming and they don’t involve any heating, apart from one using distilled water from the kettle.

I’ve bought a few items to use specifically for home-cleaning, details at the end. Not a good idea to use the same items as you would for cooking! Don’t throw out containers when they’re empty, they can be repurposed.

Am now buying ingredients in bulk as it works out cheaper and have listed suppliers at the end.

Fabric conditioner

500ml white vinegar
30 drops Sweet Orange essential oil

This obviously doesn’t have the consistency of shop-bought but it does have the advantage of being kind to your washing machine. I’ve noticed that it eliminates nasty smells from the machine.

Suggested use: fill your fabric conditioner dispenser no more than a third full. Shake well before use.

Thanks to Moral Fibres for this recipe.
http://www.moralfibres.co.uk

Washing powder

500 grams soda crystals
400 grams Borax substitute
100 grams bicarbonate of soda
1 bar of soap grated*

Mix well together ensuring there are no lumps. This will be concentrated and only a small amount should be put in your dispenser.

* I use Dr Bronner’s Lavender soap which is gorgeous but a cheaper option would be the basics range in supermarkets. Do not use Dove or any other moisturising soap.

Thanks to The Village Witch for this recipe:
https://www.thevillagewitch.co.uk/homemade-natural-washing-powder-uk-recipe-laundry-powder/

Dishwasher powder

2 cups Borax substitute
2 cups soda crystals
1 cup citric acid
1 cup dishwasher salt
Sweet Orange essential oil

Mix all ingredients together and use same quantity as you would for shop-bought. You can also make them into tablets, see link below.

Thanks to snottydog for this recipe:
https://snottydog.wordpress.com/2014/01/28/dishtabs/

Dishwasher rinse aid

Use white vinegar in dispenser instead of shop-bought rinse aid.

Daily shower spray

250 mls white vinegar
250 mls water
20 drops Tea Tree essential oil
20 drops Lavender essential oil

Add essential oils to vinegar and water. Shake well before use.

Bathroom cleaner

250 grams bicarbonate of soda
125 grams non-iodised salt (Saxa)
125 grams soda crystals
6 drops Sweet Orange essential oil

Mix ingredients together adding essential oil last. Please note that this needs to be thoroughly rinsed off after use.

Thieves Oil kitchen surface cleaner

20 drops Clove Bud essential oil
18 drops Lemon essential oil
10 drops Cinnamon Bark essential oil
8 drops Eucalyptus essential oil
5 drops Rosemary essential oil
3 drops Tea Tree essential oil
3 drops Lavender essential oil
3 drops Cedar essential oil

Add the above to 500ml water, many of these oils are antibacterial and antimicrobial.

Please note it will take some time for these oils to blend but the aroma is simply gorgeous.

There are many other uses for this traditional recipe, see link below. Thanks to smallfootprintfamily for this:
https://www.smallfootprintfamily.com/how-to-make-thieves-oil-recipe

Foaming hand soap

12 oz distilled water (boiled water that’s cooled)
2 tablespoons liquid castile soap*
Half teaspoon oil such as olive or sweet almond
Essential oil of choice (optional)

Foam dispenser needed (not liquid soap one, see supplies)

Fill dispenser with water to an inch from top then add castile followed by oil and optional essential oil. Give a good swish.

* I use Dr Bronner’s Lavender liquid castile soap. More info on Dr Bronner products and their many uses at the end.

Thanks to wellnessmama for this recipe, website well worth a visit for loads more recipes:
http://www.wellnessmama.com

Reed diffuser

Essential oils of choice
Augeo diffuser base
Porex e-Reeds
Suitable glass container

Add essential oils (ratio 25%) to diffuser base. Place reeds then half hour later turn over.

This diffuser base seems to work better and the Porex e-Reeds seem to hold the scent better than cheaper reeds.

Lavender pillow spray

Lavender essential oil
Sweet Almond base oil
25 mls glass spray atomiser bottle

Add Sweet Almond oil to bottle then add a couple of drops of Lavender essential oil. Shake well.

Supplies:

White vinegar, soda crystals, Borax substitute, bicarbonate of soda, citric acid, essential oils and base oils available from here. Pay attention to postage.

http://www.summernaturals.co.uk

White vinegar bulk buy available from Ebay, 20 litres for around £14 posted. I do find this has a stronger smell and actually prefer white vinegar from SummerNaturals.

Wilko and Pound Shop sell white vinegar sprays, ideal for experimenting.

Essential oils and base oils:

http://www.freshskin.co.uk
http://www.buffandbutter.com
http://www.thesoapkitchen.co.uk
http://www.baldwins.co.uk* free postage with orders over £20

Soap and castile, cheapest supplier:

https://www.dolphinfitness.co.uk/en/dr-bronner-soap-bar-range
https://www.dolphinfitness.co.uk/en/dr-bronner-liquid-soaps-range

Containers:

For glass bottles and plastic bottles in all shapes and sizes, trigger sprays, pump dispensers, atomisers etc you can’t beat Baldwins:

http://www.baldwins.co.uk* free postage on orders over £20

Augeo reed diffuser base:

http://www.thesoapkitchen.co.uk

http://www.suppliesforcandles.co.uk

Porex e-Reeds and reed diffuser glasses:

http://www.suppliesforcandles.co.uk

Glass foaming hand soap container:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01BTXECTG/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Not sure how I feel about the title.

I mean, I’ve tried to masturbate to the pics, but it just ain’t happening.

Ah. Women do what they do best.

How much porn do you need to clean up? Seems like you are well prepared for any eventuality though.

Sorry Jamie. 😆

Ah. Women do what they do best.

Didn’t say I used them!

Oh yes, if you chaps don’t shower at least once daily then this isn’t the thread for you.

😉

Jamie, 😀

It’s good, but it’s not right

Daily shower spray

250 mls white vinegar
250 mls water
20 drops Tea Tree essential oil
20 drops Lavender essential oil

Add essential oils to vinegar and water. Shake well before use.

I can see how this would put you off showering.

Essential oils are totally underrated.

Not a beaker insight.

I know vinegar on its own works as fabric softener, good if you prefer unscented.

Chinese cash and carry looks a good bet for the vinegar.

Vinegar also removes clothing smells if you spray on half an hour before washing.

Not a beaker insight

https://twitter.com/FemfreshhUK/status/948942352659505153

Good grief Cap’n, I’ve just seen a willy in that Twitter feed. 😯

For Jamie.

Jasmine oil on the burner, feeling a bit floaty.

Anyone else thinking “Breaking Bad”?

Good grief Cap’n, I’ve just seen a willy in that Twitter feed.

Apologies, CG! You’ve seen one before though, shirley! 😉