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  • As a Best-Man what do I need to do?
  • JEngledow
    Free Member

    I know there are loads of websites out there, but alot seem to be very Americanised and old fashioned, so I thought I’d ask the all knowing STW masses: other than the stag-do and speech what else do I need to do as a Best-Man?

    Also do you have any tips for the speech? I’m expected to be funny, however my humor doesn’t tend to be family friendly so I’m thinking that I should just go for short and sincere (but not sickly) and forget about trying to be funny (I find forced or un-natural funny is just painful).

    TerryWrist
    Free Member

    As a Best-Man what do I need to do?
    I think tradition says “the bridesmaid”.

    HTH

    sam_underhill
    Full Member

    As a Best-Man what do I need to do?
    I think tradition says “the bridesmaids”.

    HTH

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    JEngledow
    Free Member

    I think tradition says “the bridesmaid(s)”

    Do I have to wait until after the speeches?

    sam_underhill
    Full Member

    No. Nor indeed the big day.

    stilltortoise
    Free Member

    Ask the Groom – and possibly bride-to-be – what they want you to do. I was recently best man and had the same question. I kept asking them if they needed any help with arrangements blah blah blah.

    Do have a look at some of those websites though. You can pick up some good icebreakers for your speech.

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Do I have to wait until after the speeches?

    Incorporate it into your speech – over the table, wedding cake pushed out of the way.

    Sip Champagne as you do it.

    meehaja
    Free Member

    Ask what you can help with. Find out all the plans (go to stupid wedding planning nights with B&G) make back up plans without telling B&G as when something goes wrong you can step in and reduce the stress. Help sort suits (including sorting suits for people who live far away) support groom etc.

    on the day get groom to wedding on time, ensure everyone knows whats going on afterwards, organise photos, cars to reception etc.

    at reception dance with bridesmaids and mother of bride and groom. Have manly chats with appropriate dads. Make sure everyone is mingling and has a drink if required. Do a speech.

    at the end of the night make sure everyone gets home safe, make sure all gifts/cards etc are picked up and secured safely for bride and groom, be the last man standing.

    next day ensure B&G get off on honeymoon as planned, tidy up anything that needs tidying at reception, make sure suits go back to rental place (if appropriate).

    relax.

    Basically you’re the fixer. when things go wrong you fix them and ideally prevent them from going wrong in the first place.

    McHamish
    Free Member

    Basically, make yourself available and try to do everything you can to make sure the day goes as smoothly as possible and that everyone is enjoying themselves.

    During our wedding, the electricity went out in the Church…my best man set up a stereo to play music – with power cables running from the battery on someones car. He then got the groomsmen (my two brothers) to go hand out candles that they had in the back of the Church.

    In the morning I gave him a lump of cash with instructions to give some to the priests and the DJ…which he did during the reception.

    He also made sure that everyone had drinks, did various announcements during the reception, and also got the groomsmen and anyone else he could rope in to assist the photographer with getting people ready for the photos etc.

    Our bridesmaids were more than useless, so I was glad he was there to help out.

    lunge
    Full Member

    1. Stag do – Do what the grooms wants not what you want
    2. Help pick suits – If required
    3. Look after the groom in the build-up – An arm around the shoulder, a beer in hand
    4. General help – At the wedding, and in the build-up to the day.
    5. Rings – Don’t drop or lose them
    6. Speech – Not too long, personal to the groom, not from a template, don’t offend too many people
    7. Bridesmaids – Optional but encouraged
    8. Beers – Lots, ideally the most drunk at the wedding

    Preferably in that order.

    convert
    Full Member

    I’ve done the job twice and both at weddings that were not package A from the local hotel type affairs – so maybe a bit more to make happen. I’d say your main job, probably bigger than the speech is sorting the small stuff and making sure all the main players are left worry free on the day. It’s your job to make sure they have the best day. I think it helps if your have been the groom previously.

    My last – Sorted some champagne down by the river so they could have a quiet moment whilst the party decamped from the service to the reception; made sure I was first port of call if neighbours had problems with noise or any other problems; made sure bride and groom never had an empty glass; be nice to the parents and make sure they are introduced to guests they might not have met before; keep the band sweet; make sure the couples room is suitable sorted. Twas a knackering day!

    You’ll know what to do.

    edit – I’d disagree with the above. I’d say you should look to be drinking the most and having the best time, but probably the soberest.

    alfabus
    Free Member

    fixer +1

    basically be the bloke who everyone turns to when they are unsure about anything. easier if you are married yourself, as you will know what is going to happen, and what can go wrong.

    make it run smoothly, make the bride feel that you are at her beck and call and make the groom relax.

    and then make a speech; DO NOT READ ANY SPEECH WEBSITES! just say something personal and from the heart; if that is only 5 seconds long, that is fine.

    Dave

    edit: I’ve done it twice and neither time wrote more than 5 words as speech prompts – just winged it, so it came out naturally. It went down very well by all accounts.

    ericemel
    Free Member

    My best man who wasn’t able to attend my wedding did a Video conference, then the 2 stand in best men wrote a song and sung it!!! Bloody funniest thing I have seen!!!

    But the best thing they did was ensure I wasn’t worried about ANYTHING! They were great

    Stuey01
    Free Member

    I got married this year and my best man did a great job, so I’ll share my experiences.

    My wife and I didn’t need much support in organising it, so my best man was pretty redundant up until the week of the wedding (stag do aside).

    In the week leading up to the wedding he was really supportive, helped with little things like picking up the suits, carrying boxes of booze about, wrapping little bloody chocolate hearts. He also returned the suits for the whole wedding party whilst I jetted off on honeymoon.

    On the day the band needed directing and paying, also the photographer needed paying, I let him handle all the cash for that so I didn’t have to worry about it. He was also main point of contact for all the other suppliers (venue, caterer, driver etc), so it was important that we walked him through all the plans and running order in advance and gave him the contacts.
    On the day he went above and beyond with chatting to all our families, dancing with grandma’s, downing jaegerbombs with father in law etc etc.

    He took a few days off from work to be around for all that, and also just to be around so I had someone to hang out with in the downtime and not stress too much about things.

    Of course the speech and the stag do are important, but it is the rest of it where the best man really makes a difference.

    Ask what the groom expects of you, but he probably won’t know so just being around and available as things come up is a good start.

    Stuey01
    Free Member

    Oh, and +1 to being a fixer and last man standing.

    also there is usually a a shedload of stuff to sort the day after a wedding. Being around for that is a massive help.

    lunge
    Full Member

    Re. the speech, I recorded mine to my iPhone and and listened to it 2 or 3 times per day for 3 weeks, rerecording every few days with any little changes that I thought might be good. This meant that I was 100% comfortable with the words on the big day and whilst I still had the script I didn’t really look at it.

    Stuey01
    Free Member

    make sure the marriage certificate doesn’t get lost!

    spacemonkey
    Full Member

    As a Best-Man what do I need to do?
    I think tradition says “the bridesmaid”.

    If you do the bride as well then you might just save yourself doing any more research full stop.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    +1 for “ask the groom this question,” every wedding is different.

    WRT the speech, it’s actually a lot easier than you’d think because it’s a very receptive audience. By the time you stand up, everyone’s happy and smiley and half cut. If you genuinely can’t be funny then be sincere.

    emma82
    Free Member

    Having taken over from the best man to nurse groom to be at about midnight last night I’d say the main things for the best man are:
    1.only let the groom drink one ‘dirty’ pint
    2.only let him have one bottle of champagne to himself
    3.carry him to a safe place over a drain and stop him falling in his sick
    4.plead with a taxi driver to get him home
    5.scrap him up off the bathroom floor when he collapses naked head first and cant move
    6.grab various bins/towels etc to clean up the ensuing sick; and
    7.make him look half decent before the b2b gets home…..although he did fail in that but maximum points for trying.
    sore heads in my house today. Thank god they’ve got it out of their system 6 weeks before the wedding is all I can say 🙂

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