I know some of you enjoy Come Dine With Me, but has anyone been following the mac daddy of reality cookery shows this year?

For long-term fans, I reckon this year’s catchphrase is: “I can’t taste your scallops.”

Last year’s was: “We want food with flavours.”

Nah, nah the quote of choice from the contestants POV is usually “I’m passionate about food!” or “Cooking is my life, it’s all I think about”.

They all say the same sh1t. Oh and when they get booted off for burning the toast or somesh1t they usually blurt out “This isn’t the end for me, this is just the beginning” or “I’m not going to stop cooking”

****.

It’s like TV crack in our house!

Every night me, my Mum, and my brother madly text each other, bitching about how rotten they all are.

Semi final tonight; that’s my evening sorted!

I hate to admit it (I actually do)- but I really do like watching it. I dont know why?! Its low-brow and yet I still watch it the whole way through.

Ming the Merciless (who made the clamp choudary in the bread bap) is going to win it me thinks…

MussEd – Spot on mate! I was talking about the judges’ catchphrases, but you’ve nailed the contestants.

Hora – My money’s on him too. You could tell from the response to his smoked scallops.

Is it the last quarter tonight and next week it goes into the next phase?

I don’t know, but I reckon COOKING DOESN’T GET MUCH TOUGHER THAN THIS!!!!

I’ve got the hang of it and I’m TURNING OUT PERFECT PLATES OF FOOD.

I tagged him as Ming when he was on too. Think he’s a standout, though missed it all this week cos of night shift but will sit down to enjoy it tonight.

And as if it isn’t tough enough for the cooks, they have to stand and watch as their lovingly prepared grub is shovelled{and I mean Shovelled!} into the Aussie guys gaping maw! It’s like watching a grouper feed! My wife tries to defend him by saying he needs to get all the flavours but he could several smaller forkfuls. Bloody animal…

It’s almost heartbreaking when somebody cooks a duff pudding and Greg takes a bite, waits a second then looks down and quietly says “no” in a sad voice.

The best one was the other week where 1 guy cut his thumb off and another made ‘the worst dish we have ever had’ which was basicly boiled spuds.

The bald one makes me laugh. He just can’t believe his luck in getting this gig can he? I can’t wait to taste that one! Have you been talking to my mum? Yum Yum! etc etc

Ah, this seems like as good a place as any to ask. Why is it that they ALWAYS SHOUT AT EACH OTHER ABOUT THE FOOD, even though they’re just sat opposite each other?

‘THAT STARTER WAS GREAT – IT HAD FLAVOUR, TEXTURE AND COLOUR AND oh, my earwax has just fallen out and I can hear again’

This week- the lad who made the Thai starter/main. The judges almost came over the food. ‘ohh that saaaaauuce is just soooo….’ Made me cough up my cuppa! Anyone seen the film God of Cookery? Thought the judge was going to start crying and daydreaming etc at that point!!

The bald one with puddings. Sheesh!

Edit: It’s almost heartbreaking when somebody cooks a duff pudding and Greg takes a bite, waits a second then looks down and quietly says “no” in a sad voice.

Class. Yes!

The bite where Gre and John say “Cooking doesn’t get tougher than this!”
are done seperately to camera.
Also the bit where the chef from the professional kitchen says If I had to employ anyone it would be x, is shot earlier and he’ll say he’d employ X,Y, Z
Then later they insert the one who looks best on film.

I still love the programme!

“The bite where Gre and John say “Cooking doesn’t get tougher than this!”
are done seperately to camera.
Also the bit where the chef from the professional kitchen says If I had to employ anyone it would be x, is shot earlier and he’ll say he’d employ X,Y, Z
Then later they insert the one who looks best on film.”

looks like english.. don’t understand a word….

what do you mean?

Guy last night wanted to teach cooking (at least that was different), but he has never worked as a chef. WTF? That would be like me trying to teach you lot how to mountain bike

The commentary really gets me. I reckon she has just recorded 34 stock comments (scuse the pun) and they just insert the appropriate one for the right moment.

Anyone else enjoying Terry Wogan’s morning comments on the previous nights episode?

Oh, and have you noticed they never choose all 3 women or all 3 men to go through. Political correctness anyone?

They must be a shower of deperados, some on the face of it seem to have good jobs but are desperate to be cooks(it means everything to me) seems to be the standard quote. And as for those two uppity tw&ts that present it (don’t get me started on them)
Wife loves it though thats how I know so much about it. I think i will need to have a word with her as she should be making stuff in the kitchen and not watching said desperados.

Looks around, … GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF FLAVOURS

Sorry about the confusion. I meant when Greg and John say “we’re looking for a
great cook and “cooking doesn’t get tougher than this” They are talking to a camera not to each other.
The chef is asked to say x is good not bad or useless .
And they edit afterwards depending on who’s done well.

I’m loving it too! I must say though that the narrator gets on my wick a fair bit, especially at the end when she trails the next show when ‘three more exceptional cooks…’. Another bit of insider knowledge: a reliable source told me that when the contestants are cooking in the studio kitchen they each have a couple of helpers but they never show them on the show… Apparently, the gifted young girl who was runner up last year leaned quite heavily on her helpers and it didn’t go down too well!

Stop shattering my illusions!

*puts fingers in ears and hums loudly*

falkirk mark I hear you but i love it!

Yes, there’s only about 10mins of original material in each episode, but it’s the best 10mins of the day.

Sorry about the confusion. I meant when Greg and John say “we’re looking for a
great cook and “cooking doesn’t get tougher than this” They are talking to a camera not to each other.

its to set up the show, it never occured to me that they might be talking to each other

The chef is asked to say x is good not bad or useless .
And they edit afterwards depending on who’s done well.

not to sure about that, unless you have insider knowlage, that sort of goes against the BBCs’ “safeguarding trust” policy

anyhoo quite enjoying this series..

is it just me that wants to go on the first round “invention test” and do a couple of slices of toast?

is it just me that wants to go on the first round “invention test” and do a couple of slices of toast?

“It’s a simple dish, so every part of it will have to be absolutely perfect”

Wife and I love it. We try to pick the winners before any of them have even touched a pan with surprisingly accurate results too (althoguh I bombed by picking the guy in the pink shirt from last nights). We don’t seem to get wound up about it like half the comments in this thread do though!

Chakaping : Re the toast and getting every part perfect – I’d fail on that, My missus is always complaining that I don’t spread the butter evenly. I like big blobs of it here and there?

crispy on the outside, soft in the middle.

I also thought it would be good to go on “who wants to be a millionare” get into the fastest finger round, win that, sit with Tarrant answer the first question for the £100 then say.. “I’ve had a great time Chris, but I don’t want to risk the cash so I’ll leave it there”

Make a real point of watching this. Quality TV and some good recipe ideas to boot!

The contestants always contain:
the mum who does “homely” cooking
young inexperienced student cook
bloke who does “british classics”
the “fusion” cook
late-30s arty type “experimental” cook

I couldn’t believe the vegetarian PE teacher who then cooked meat and couldn’t actually taste it or the guy who cooked cheese stuffed lamd again after it was slated the first time!

Not that I watch the program much!!!

I want someone to serve a microwave chicken kiev, and when they do that, aggressive insertion of food into their gobs, to have their tongues scalded with microwaved garlic butter.

And my dessert would be ice cream. With chilli sauce. (go Heston, go Heston!)

I don’t like em. One of them looks like Dr Fox, the other is Shrek’s Dad I believe.

I love it.

Contestant #1 “I just want to follow my dream and open a bistro”

(Contestant #1 doesn’t realise the ballache involved in opening a bistro and thinks it will be like cooking a dinner party for her pals every day)

Contestant #2 “I love cooking as a creative outlet after working my city job 9-5”

(Contestant #2 doesn’t realise that throwing every ingredient in the same pan does not constitute creative cooking)

Contestant #3 “I’m an experimental cook”

(Contestant #3 doesn’t have a clue what flavours compliment each other but puts it down to their ‘fusion flare’)

And so on. TV Gold.

I like the ones that clame they enjoy “Fusion” cooking or as I like to call it “I’ve not got a fooking clue what I’m doing so I’ll just smash some random flavours into pot and cross my fingers” and why do they ALWAYS cook either lamb or scallops? The “fusion” cooks of course cook both together! Oh and another thing it’s pronouced Fondon not FON-DON! (I know it’s french but the Grommit bloke always says FON-DON the t1t!

Rant

Done

Seems the favourite combo this series is Pork & Scallops and weve seen a lot of broad beans. Also there is a new one on the question What would you do if you won Master Chef?

I WANT TO OPEN MY OWN COOKERY SCHOOL.

What are they going to do show the class a recording of them on master chef, look Im famous so can charge you the earth for teaching you how to put Chorizo on top of a Scallop on a bed of mashed chick peas.

Seems they thought they were being clever, at least one of the six in the invention test has come out with that one.

To be fair. Chorizo and Scallops go together like bread and butter. nom nom nom.

You all need to play the Master Chef drinking game. Each time someone mentions a key word or phrase (for example scallops, or mint pea puree, feel free to create your own) you have a drink….

sounds a lot like bullshit bingo to me but I like it. Any chance for a drink 😉

I’ve always spotted the winner so far…..here goes.. 🙂

The blokes look like mountain bikers no??!

Simon is the winner.