• handybar replied to the topic Anyone been to Bologna? in the forum Chat Forum 1 month ago

    Great place lots of independent businesses and best city for food. 2 nights at least I’d say.

  • Been a while but i had a perfect month in croatia many years back.

  • handybar replied to the topic The lady from Roxette in the forum Chat Forum 1 month ago

    sad news

  • I hear the term narcissist a lot now, I don’t think I’ve ever been caught up with one – my red flag detector has always been quite good overall – but it’s more that you realise everyone has some major issues, which you only learn about close-up. Plus people can change from good to bad.
    The question for me I suppose is whether together, as a…[Read more]

  • It took me a long time to realise there is a major gulf between the face people show the world (persona) and the person beneath.
    I’ve been single for 12 years now and counting. For me, it is just too much of a risk, I’ve found on balance I’m happier on my own than taking a risk on someone with the fallout and heartache from realising they are not…[Read more]

  • After age kicks in, it costs a lot of money to keep something on the road, whether it be a car, a human or an animal. In the past, people were less sentimental about it all, and a lot of vets would have put animals down rather than keeping them going.

  • Any fool can handle a crisis, it’s the day to day drudgery of life which requires true heroism (or something like that), said Tolstoy.

  • I found an old school book from when I was about 6 years old. I’d written some stories and I constantly use the phrase, “You’d better watch out.” I think that indicates that I was anxious about the future even then. A lot of it is genetic, I’ve since discovered my dad could also be described as an anxious-avoidant type person.

  • I was speaking to a relative about someone we know who is now very unwell. This person knew him before I did, and said he used to be outgoing and fun. I’ve never known him like that. The change – he married the wrong person. He probably won’t last long now, and I’m fairly sure all the bitterness he has built up over the years has been a leading…[Read more]

  • handybar replied to the topic NATO and climate change in the forum Chat Forum 1 month ago

    Surely another world war would kill so many people it would be a big plus for the planet?

  • These days I just assume a person is horrible until I see evidence otherwise…in complete contrast to what I was like until my mid-20s, when I naturally just trusted people.
    It’s awful really…people can also change, so you could marry someone who then becomes toxic as time goes on.
    But the result is a certain level of social isolation on my…[Read more]

  • I know a few heavy drinkers. All of them are using it as a crutch for something. Depression, anxiety or boredom.
    Its a drug, we call it a drink but people take it as it is a drug.
    But given the world we live in I can’t say I blame people for doing it.

  • Body can’t process the stuff anymore, 3 pints is my lot these days.

  • handybar replied to the topic What's your winter strategy? in the forum Bike Forum 1 month ago

    Well at least there is some sunshine in the forecast now…
    I’ve found this month a tough one to get through for a variety of reasons, I’m going to start some mindfulness classes again, as I’ve neglected that for a while.

  • I have nothing to add but my sympathies.
    My 10 year old neice now has a smartphone and my heart fell when I first saw her with it.

  • We will see…I think Jose is similar to the George Graham appointment, he may bring a trophy but the football will be defensive. Levy got carried away with the new stadium and thinking spurs are entitled to be a superpower because of it. He wants so edging for nothing and it looks like this could end badly. Poch may go to man United and do quite…[Read more]

  • Knee problems and surgery mean I haven’t ridden a mountain bike in anger for five years.
    Three months into recovery from last operation, now on the exercise bike in the garage and looking at my mountain bike, wondering if I will ever ride the trails again.

  • handybar replied to the topic Life in the forum Chat Forum 2 months ago

    @tjagain, if you are right, then you are talking about low-grade altruism which is really selfishness.
    But how do you explain what is known as “radical altruism” – that is someone putting their life on the line to save a stranger’s life?
    “Altruism” itself is a fairly new term, I suppose the old term would be charity.

  • handybar replied to the topic Life in the forum Chat Forum 2 months ago

    My very unscientific observation is that some of the most ambitious, busy people have the strongest neurosis going on behind the scenes. There was a study of Goldman Sachs recruits, all highly successful/alpha types, turns out they had pretty much running away from something very empty inside.
    Unfortunately like pied piper they lead other people…[Read more]

  • handybar replied to the topic Life in the forum Chat Forum 2 months ago

    Writing a long time back Pitirim Sorokin said only a culture of creative altruism would save humanity going forward.
    Unfortunately I just see rising levels of selfishness, obsession with house prices, no charity, all very dark and demo4alising.Perhaps the younger generation will realise it, but nonsense like instagram seems to be making them just…[Read more]

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