More common than one would first think, even a marketing tool.

I get told off for doing it too.

Cornflakes don’t flush very well.

You will need a specific bike tire to ride up it as well.

I like to wheel one of these over the exhaust vents at the local bakery and climb inside. Sometimes if I am lucky, they empty a tray of old bread in as well for a mid sauna snack.

I use a bluetooth jobbie

In Scotland that would have a very different meaning.

During the past month have you boned her? A crude question, but one which may answer why she is hanging on that bit, hoping that things might progress.

What does a whole nutmeg taste like after it’s been stewed?

Not like a dry nutmeg, I suspect that the myristicin was damaged and not effective anymore. I ate one, and thought that was interesting wonder what that was, ate another, and thought, that didn’t taste so good what on earth is it, and on finding out, I just accepted I was probably going to shit myself, and feel like crap for a few days.

Neither of which happened.

Kia something

Aldi caravan cleaner concentrate

^ It’s not genital warts, darling, it’s a sebecious cyst

Everything says that this should turn into a DIY picture thread.

Would I use superglue to close the wound?

^ bugger my head hurts

ze:ro dac in ear headphones

http://www.vesalius.com/cfoli.asp

Oh my I’ve just found this website – Recluse spider bike anybody?

^Last time I tried that with my newly appointed Dr mate, well not really a doctor, he was in charge of the scalpel, we were laughing so hard, he just stuck it in the top of my head, followed by a long long long flow of blood.

Maybe we should have tried it sober.

Looks like that i seem to recall being able to squeeze it out years ago but not any more.

https://intl.tumi.com/

Some spagnum moss and clay beads,

Stuff that weak skunk smell – this is the real deal siphoned out of a skunks smell balls.

Head of a small international school – depends on what day it is if I enjoy it or not, certainly has its moments.

Transformapods millipedes in disguise

That bottom ones either in disguise or not a millipede Quirrel

Not sure that they should be so common inside, either.

Get loads in the house – go away for a weekend, and the buggers break in.

Also

These which scare the shit out of me.

And every so often one of these.

That moment you pull out and see a bit of poo on the end…………. then you know you have to wash your hands and change the nappy

Look a lot like anal leeches

Sneaky Pete

Using the toilet on an airplane.

Put some of this where they smoke

Walking HOnda Varedero backwards on a steep camber hill out side the entrance to a national park, misjudged how steep the camber was and went to put my foot down, and over I went, in front of 100 other bikers we were meeting for a ride.

Same trip, same park, mis judged a corner and dropped into first, locked up the rear, straight on into the storm guttering at the side, came a to a stop, to realise that there was no where to put my feet, and with a little forward momentum still in me rather than the bike, went up and over the bars.

Dropped my honda blackbird twice at my gate, both making the same mistake of pointing it down hill into the drive on the kickstand while I opened the front gate.

And on my 110 scooter – drving into the drive way in high rainy season, wondering why the drive way looked darker and flatter than normal, to ride into a 1m+ of flood water, turns out the tidal river, and small canal beside the house, and exceptional rainfall, flooded the garden.

Little 110cc fell over, completely submerged, still runnning, pulled it out, gave it a kick, and away it went.

She wore big knickers and she worked at the sewage farm.
Got my hands down her jeans and I nearly lost half my arm.
But after ten pints, she looked quite fit,
Couldn’t wait to get my hands on her flabby tits.
Slap that and ride the ripples, just got to get my gob round her greasy nipples.
Flabby arse, sweaty breasts, thirty eight chins, she was a mound of flesh.
Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of pies,
Sweaty Betty, she’s got enormous thighs,
Sweaty Betty, have you smelled her breath?
Sweaty Betty, she’d crush a man to death.

I knew that she wanted me to shag her, so I stabbed her **** with my mutton dagger.
I couldn’t believe the size of her bum,
She used to play for Wigan at the back of the scrum.
I’ve seen nowt like it since the day I was born,
But you know me, I’ll shag owt that’s warm.

Sweaty Betty, she eats a lot of chips,
Sweaty Betty, she’s got massive tits,
Sweaty Betty, she’s got a huge vagina,
Sweaty Betty, you’d fit a bus inside her,
She’s so obscene, three tons of margarine,
She’s like a lump of lard
But Sweaty Betty makes my willy hard.

Raleigh Mustang vapourised maroon

Alright. Well that was alright for a while but soon I wanted more.
I want to see as well as hear and so I hid inside her wardrobe.

I’m gonna watch you bleed

When I’m out walkin’, I strut my stuff — yeah, I’m so strung out
I’m high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out
When I’m out walkin’, I strut my stuff — yeah, I’m so strung out
I’m high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out
Body and beats, I stain my sheets — I don’t even know why

^ yes enjoyed that too

Just reading it makes me feel a bit queasy.

Yes.

I inhaled two packets of Haribo reading this thread.

I imagine tonight, I will feel guilty, then drink 8 cans of some silly strong IPA, and eat all my kids sweets in the fridge, and look guilty tomorrow morning when she gets up to have her weekend treat

Nothing just now, other than time with my little girl. Everything else is shit, and I barely get to see her just now anyway.

Wish someone had told me 30 years ago growing up is shite.

Season 2 out now

Homeland as well

You should use a calorimitor to calculate the mass accurately.

Whatever you do, make sure it is your regular signature on the passport.

I’ve trying to open a bank account, and they are not accepting the forms I’ve signed because the signatures are too different to my passport, backwards and forwards just now with me resending the form with a similar signature on.

For the life of me I can’t remember how I have managed to change it so much, and it is only 10 weeks old!

****!

Somehow got roped into a presentation to the Board, three days after we are inspected, unfortunately the presentation has nowt to do with the inspection and is going to take weeks of research, and preparation, and I have three weeks to do it in.

Bollocks, should have remained focused during that meeting