I don’t want to know.

My Site Manager is up at the house, really worried that I am angry with him and his team for not catching it yesterday.

20 snap traps
10 live catch cage traps
20 glue traps

a selection of poison to put under the stilts of the house just in case.

Three worried maintenance guys,

A site manager

2 bananas

1 potato

3 tubes of mastik

air rifle

and fear

That is going to catch them, or more than likely not.

Crash into a lampost, and not a tree if you are going to hit something

You lot are tame

This guys dog ate his arm.

Dog ate my arm

I was, then I met Jo, a bong eyed, ginger hippy, of a sizable, girth. She was a one nighter, but left a lasting memory of scabies, so I itched for a few months, until I worked out what it was.

Put me off fatties for life.

^ Get out of my roof space and stop eating it you ****. Bloody hole in the kitchen roof this morning.

^ I will not be suggesting that the FIL has come back as a squirrel. Although the air rifle could have been handy at the wake.\

I’m wondering I should modify it to take my Joe Blow track pump

It ain’t pattering, the **** is jumping around with 1800 brass dive boots on its feet whilst dragging those ninja claw things across the surface.

Hmm I’ve posted about problems with pigeons, hornets and squirrels recently. I’ve had issues with snakes in the house, and giant centipedes the last week.

I’m like the anti dr doolittle

I take odd photos when I am out riding and always mean to upload them as a ‘what did you see on your ride today” but always forget

I did have a thread with a similar problem, relating to hornets and a water tower.

Can’t find it now.

Our last cat was 8.5kg and would have been effective at bringing the ceiling down.

Squirrel has gone quiet. airgun is charged and shot loaded, i’m tempted to test at the ceiling anyway to see if it does go through or not. If it ricochets and hits Mrs Q though she will get upset.

She nearly killed me once for flying a remote controlled helicopter into her face, god knows how she would react to shooting her.

Slightly smaller version of our kitchen, see bamboo walls and large resonating bamboo roof

Borrow Stumpy’s cat?

One of the staff that lives here has a cat, maybe I could borrow it and stick it in the roof space. Then I can have two things thumping around.

Air rifle is a home made special as well

Looks just like this

It used to be mrsquirrel, but then people thought it was Mrs Quirrel, and so it stuck simply as Quirrel many years ago.

My mate recounted the tale of his great dane, finding a dead dear in the woods,

Dane ran off, he chased, dane is busy at something, turns around covered in rotten deer, with entrails hanging out of it’s mouth like something out of a horror movie.

Ask me again in 10 days when this term is over, and I have managed to hold onto my sanity.

Eat toilet paper, it works for anorexics.

Eat dry pudding rice, then drink warm water, that will fill you up.

repeat whenever you feel hungry.

Amphetamine – stops you wanting to eat everything, and makes the day go faster too.

Caution: I am not a Dr. or expert in stopping smoking.

Quirrel was certainly on fire this morning

Why thank you kind sir, it was almost back to my days of trolling ESL teacher forums in the feverish posting excitement I had yesterday morning.

I requested stovies for my birthday tea once. Mum had too cook a roast beef joint to make them for me.

If I wasn’t such a lazy git I would make some myself.

Seeing as you now have Rentons address, possibly a poo in the post would ease your irritation with him.

Local restaurant was advertising a Giant Fois Gras burger for two yesterday when we were in.

Is that just a massive pile of Fois Gras in a bun or something different?

I hope they were beef stovies

My big sister told me she went to a sWANKY restaurant/bar in London once, where the table cloth had pictures of plates on it, and food was served directly onto the table cloth.

She also went to a restaurant where all food was served on cracked, chipped, plates on purpose.

Is buying an appollo bike as shameful as going into B&M and pooing on the floor?

My wife and I went to one of those NCT breast feeding class things when she was expecting Mini Q.

Lots of STW types there, or at least I gathered so from the Waitrose shopping bags. I digress.

One couple, a scruffy Kirt Cobaine lookalike, and his hippyesque wife, were all into having the home birth, no drugs and all that carry on bringing little Grunge into the world naturally. Fair play to them, not our idea of fun.

After the group finished, and we went our separate ways, never to meet again, other than one time, where we bumped into Kirt, wife and baby, about 12 months after.

Gunge baby, now had a name, and Grunge baby, had screamed from the day he was born until he was more than a year old, non stop apparently, for the best part of his waking hours, he simply screamed. He was asleep when we met them, and although I was tempted to wake him up and see if it was true, I refrained.

Mum and dad looked like death. We had the worst birth possible, and a happy content child. They had their dream birth, and a devil child.

I know why though. They called their baby boy – Wolfie.

^ If I was the OP, and I read this thread, having had a busy weekend riding and having fun, I would probably poo in the bibs, before sending them to you.

that’s not a beach, it’s where dirt meets water…

I know Bristol is a dump, but try and be a bit more respectful, people might get offended.

Tell her to go international, choose the school carefully, hiring time in August-November for some of the larger named schools, look for a non-profit, and enjoy the spoils of huge budgets, toys and hopefully decent kids.

Somewhere such as, UWCA or SAS in Singapore, British School of New York, British School of Brussels.

This is of course based on the assumption she is teaching challenging classes, in a challenging area, and job satisfaction is low hence why she is wanting out of teaching.

Now using Inkscape as it is free, and appears to work.

Tested it on some of the free images of jungle and farms I have found.

Well you aren’t exactly environmentally friendly are you. What is wrong with used kitchen roll to wrap your disks in?

I can get 1m2 printed at equivalent of around 3GBP fitted to the wall.

They will go around corners as well, costs a bit more than painting, but is a lot more colourful, and frees up my maintenance team for a day.

Must refrain from making a Jimmy Saville joke…….

^ i could find someone to do that, but I have now mastered resizing them. That wasted a good hour of my day so far.

^ had a go online, but struggling to work out how big they can be blown up. Found a few vector images that are usable, and would look good, but cannot get them to blow up large.

Has it gone all right?