Oh well, if you insist. Are you sitting comfortably?

Good, then I’ll begin. Finding me somewhat discombobulated, and having heard my story, the owner of the house blanched a little and led us down the narrow corridor running between his house (large, mock-Tudor mansion) and the adjacent house. It was full of weeds and quite hard to get through.

Right under my first floor window were two gravestones set into the wall – the previous owners had died in a particularly nasty car crash and their son had seen fit to set their headstones into the wall – nuts but true.

He told me that there had been ‘problems’ with my room before but that he hadn’t believed a word of it. I moved rooms the same day.

That’s a decent file size. If you have a mate who owns a copy of photoshop, it can be upsized to 20×16″ no bother.

If you get it printed on canvas you could easily get away with a three foot print (if your super-ego can handle it).

What draws you toward being a postie? Lack of responsibility? Being unaccountable for large parts of the day? Simplicity (you have your round, you do it and go home)?

I worked as a driver for ParcelForce for a year and really quite enjoyed it because of all the reasons above. But I guarantee that if you have half a brain (and it sounds like you do) you’ll be bored to the point of suicide quite quickly.

If you’re really suffering from the Sunday work-fear, then yes, a change of career is a good plan. But go sideways, not down. Or disappear at an odd tangent – I did and have never been happier as a full time wedding photographer.

Not knocking posties by the way – you can still lead a devestatingly, catastrophically interesting life away from work (Bukowski)…

Lots of interesting posts…. I was always a full on sceptic, non-believer, etc until I spent a week in Newark, at an antique dealing friend’s house for the annual Newark antiques fair.

To cut a long story short, I awoke one sunny morning and after reading my book for 10 minutes, I heard a really unpleasant noise at the bedroom door. It sounded like a human growling through a vocoder. Almost electronic. I assumed my mates were taking the piss and tried to ignore it.

The noise increased and I began to get a bit annoyed. I also wondered what possible motive my mates had for getting out of bed at 8 a.m. just to make, “eeeEEEEuuuEEeerggghhgh” noises at my door.

Eventually, I grew somewhat afraid – this noise was really quite hideous. I’ve since heard a dog dying after being hit by a car and it was similar. I leapt out of bed, threw open the door (which opened onto a long corridor with no other doors) and …. Nothing!

The noise of a car coming up the drive drew me to the window – it was my two housemates returning from town with breakfast from the bakers.

There’s more to the tale, but I’d be amazed if anyone has read this far….

Samuel Beckett’s ‘Malone Dies’ which is very, very rambling, but there, it’s supposed to be! And also, ‘Decline and Fall’ by Evelyn Waugh, which is very entertaining – truly a page turner.

Yup – I’m afraid ebay are always on the buyers’ side these days. Full refund on receipt of the item is the only way, then leave him some truthful feedback (even if it is marked ‘positive’).

Crikey – you are quite right of course, but being able to comfort a casualty until the experts arrive is a good thing. I’m not talking about applying hundreds of slings and bandages – just stopping any bleeding and putting the person at ease.

And depending on where you ride, it may be the case that self evacuation is the only option (no phone signal).

Best of luck mate – be yourself and no, women over 35 don’t care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys’ boy – they’re just keen to meet a genuine bloke IMHO.

That’s probably quite true, in an absolutely fiscal sense, but will it make you HAPPY?

I doubt it. I have a secret room where I convert old bikes to modern useage – that makes me quite happy….

OK, but he was only enlarging upon a theme – I cannot say that I’ve ever managed to keep my defib machine charged long enough to use it. And I’ve spent enough time at Glentress to think that one of those overweight, middle management, carbon-riding swines would keel over and justify the extra two kilos 👿

Distracted though I am by the visual treat that is ‘Dante’s Peak’, I am still able to recall the period in my life when I went through the special Hell that is ‘one-night-stands with a view to attaining a lasting relationship’.

Oh! They just drove straight through an old mine entrance to escape the pyroclastic flow! Nice move Brosnan!

At the ripe age of 45, I’d guess that similarly aged ladies are either looking for companionship interspersed with a spot of rumpy (Oh God! The roof is collapsing and they’re all going to drown in lava!!) pumpy, or they’re hoping to attract a macho toy boy.

How about those active weekends whereupon lots of semi-fit singletons get together under the guise of having supressed a long held desire to go kayaking at midnight, or climbing through treetops, when all they actually want is to meet other semi-fit humans of the opposite sex? Can’t remember the name of the company, but try googling “semi-fit”.

EDIT: actually, don’t google “semi-fit”. That road leads to disappointment and disillusionment.

Well Peter, I was referring to general first aid training, rather than training in specific items of equipment. So yes, I fear you are missing something… Point being, it matters not what you have in your kit if you’ve never had the opportunity to use it, all the more so if the casualty is a close friend.

If pressed though, I carry a foil blanket on the grounds that hypothermia is a killer(especially as shock and exposure are likely to be factors in the equation), a few bandages (to reassure myself and the casualty) and a bag of top quality powder for pain relief (replenished on a near daily basis).

Happy?

Was there a relationship with the horse? I would count that as baggage.

Well that’s it – it really is all about training. Mine gets refreshed bi-annually and the hope is that the autopilot thing will take over.

And it does – when I worked at a Victoria Wine off license in my 20s, we were given training about what to do if we were robbed. Eventually, I was (by a midget with an axe!) and looking back over the incident, I realised I’d done everything by the book, right down to making a mental note of the robber’s description (4′ 6″, oversized chip on shoulder).

I’d just procure the strongest co-codamol you can find and hope for the best.

Good advice. Did the mines-rescue course near Durham a few years back and am a first aider at the local dry ski slope (get to practice my medskillz at least once a week).

A good quality bag of skag would be ideal, but Tramadol / Co-codamol would suffice. My wife’s mate fell off her bike during a two week tour of Wales a few years ago. Seeing her in a pool of claret, mostly emenating from a large scalp wound, I fell apart until my wife spat, “You’re the first aider, DO SOMETHING!!”. At which juncture, the (minimal) training all flooded back and the first aid bag was produced.

Just the physical presence of kit you’re familiar with can make a huge difference to your reaction – triangular bandages, dressings…. I was able to stop the bleed until a passing nurse came along and took over (I was a tiny bit annoyed!).

It’s easy to treat someone you don’t know. It’s very hard to apply your knowledge to a good friend in pain……

Policy didn’t start ’til the 12th of September……

Bleeder cut me off after 15 minutes of ‘Spring’ 👿 Phoned back and new lady informs me that they have waived the fee. Damn skippy you have!!

Any online legislation I can quote at them? Google has brought some doorstep stuff up but nothing directly relevant. Meanwhile they’re getting 10p. a minute off me for listening to Vivaldi.

My Dad has four of these in various stages of delapidation / restoration….. The Triumph Razor Edge. Everything above the chassis is made of wood inside – the rot kills most of them 🙁

Sorry to hijack, but what are you chaps using to mount your lights to your helmet? Searching for ‘helmet mount’ on Deal Extreme just brings up bar mounts….

That’s mild as ****. I remember a show at Cafe Graffiti where a guy would sook up a basin full of water using his bum, then spray it all over the audience! I thought it was hilarious (but I was ten – my dad worked in the publicity office). The same guy did stuff with sausages which would have some of you frantically getting through reams of A4 for letters to the Daily Wail….

Just to counteract the end-of-the-world pic…. This place has done my mindset some good over the years; the best manifestations of these positive outcomes are that I no longer break the speed limit in a 30 zone, understand why roadies cycle two abreast and now own a Charge Spoon – the comfiest saddle in the world. I’d never have heard of it had I not visited these hallowed portals. My backside thanks you.

I’ve learned to question a few long-held beliefs, for better or for worse. I still don’t clean my bike properly but understand why some do (easier maintenance for those who can be arsed).

Sadly, the, “General mindset of STW (forum)” is far too abstract a concept to apply a general, political set of principals to, and for that reason….

no.

AAAAAA hahahahaha-ha-ha…hmfff…. chuckle.

No.

There are a very few voices of reason on STW but

no.

Dave Hinde sent me 2000 Hope rotors for £9.95, and left glowing feedback when I demanded a postage refund!

Trolling aside, Hope replaced my QR seatpost clamp withing 48 hours, despite my having ridden it for over a year, and having no idea where I bought it. Grand.

Carrier bag here too – slightly thicker than Sainsburys though! No rust, pack-rash or any other problems to report after decades of bimbling about.

That said, don’t Brooks do a nice leather tool-roll?

Oh! NOW it’s gonna get legal 😯

Just to echo the positive sentiments, good on ya for stepping up and putting yourself out there – best of luck with it all.

That said, please, please don’t go near anyone’s wedding quite yet – I held off on the previous two threads, but if you’re going to shoot a one off day, you’re going to need two or three of everything, for when they get knocked over by kids, get pints spilt over them or get nicked (all these things have happened to my cameras / lights at weddings!).

Commercial stuff can generally be re-scheduled – weddings not…. Not knocking you – just advising a spot of caution 🙂

And right next to the Sligichan Hotel is a cracking trio of peaks which involve a decent bit of ‘safe’ scrambling. I took two not very fit (athletically) female friends round them in eight hours. You can’t miss it – it’s the horseshoe right accross from the hotel…..

I did three miles on the dual carriageway at 50 mph during my test – sat behind a lorry.

The tester asked me afterwards why I hadn’t speeded up to 60 and I told him the truth – had a bit of a ‘moment’ and forgot the legal speed limit, so played it safe!

I passed….

shameless hairy dog photography self promotion 🙂

My Halfords bike came with an X0 rear mech. Didn’t know it was anything special ’til me mate pointed it out 🙂 Works as it should….

Bastid light in prep for winter.

Priceless! “I gave them a growl, and said, ‘Move on'”.

Oh, and be prepared for the fact that getting grit / mud / crud in your eyes is a whole different ballgame when you’ve got contacts in. It really, really hurts, and will see you standing half way down descents crying like a girl!

One of those little Muckynutz front mudguards made a huge difference to my riding – just stops you riding into all the crud chucked up from the front wheel.

Contact wearer here. I have a very bad habit of losing a pair of glasses every other ride, so now I just buy cheapy Bolle safety glasses off ebay for about £5 – 8, and losing them is less of an issue.

If you can find a style that fits you well and doesn’t make you look too much like a lab technician, stick with it (or just buy a few pairs at once). This kind of thing is perfect for me….

Can’t answer your question, but have been cycling through 2″ of water on a huge, sweeping bridge in lashing rain – the far end of the bridge got hit and the whole sheet of water went white and fizzed and popped! Was amazing!

Just a thought, but if you do go for a lurcher, get a leggy one – we got Kasper the hairy lurcher from a rescue centre – he looked like he was going to get quite big, quite quickly, but he didn’t! He’s still only the size of a small collie and is good for short bursts of speed, but no good as a bike-hound. He just doesn’t have the stamina.

This was a huge disappointment to me, and I cycle much less because of it. That said, he’ll quite happily walk long distances, all day, every day, even over really rough ground and through deep heather etc.

Here’s my blog post about looking after a retired racing greyhound…

And here’s a pic of Kasper the non-bike hound!

Any excuse…..!

I do it myself (battery for a quid) but my watches are pretty much all cheap and nasty. Never had any waterproofing issues – swim and shower with them on…