Hora, some people are like, that, I do details immediatley when bad things happen, as much as a form of distraction as anything else. And since they have the option of a convenient solution its worth knowing that stuff for peace of mind.
OP, my instinct from reading your post was that she sounded genuine, and it is what it is.(having read the other-guy threads recently there was a bit of a pattern and this, from what you say, doesn’t fit it) Worth looking into relate, if only to assist in the openness and stuff for you, they can give a little structure to discussions maybe.
Sounds horrible anyway. Maybe see if you can a get a mates weekend away to just ride, get some space, reflect etc. All the best.