Why not take her shopping and let her choose one.

Move to Wales, somewhere along the Mawddach, ride my bike in the morning, blast in the Ariel Atom in the afternoon, few ales in the evening, back to the shack to snuggle my good lady by the Dru 78 stove and only 1093 days to go.

Lay off Jimmy Saville when i were a kid he fixed it for me to play the didgeridoo blindfolded with Rolf Harris. 8O

Like the idea of Santa cams, genius.

It’s not how big the wood is but how you use it.

£6k, my idea of fun on a budget is unprotected sex with a post menopausal woman.

The BIG room.

Open fires produce massive amounts of carbon monoxide, if there was a nest in the chimney and there was a sootfall while the fire was going, it would block the chimney, you could be rendered unconcious in a few seconds, dead within a minute.
Even the the carbon monoxide alarm may not save you.

How Sleep The Brave, the best Vietnam war film.

Open fire requires ventilation, a vent of free air space half the sectional area of the chimney.

This equates to a whopping great hole in the wall, with the fire when its going sucking in large quantities of cold air.

Open fires starved of oxygen produce large amounts of carbon monoxide.

To try an A class drug.
Have an affair with a 25yr old.
Not to be such a boring old fart.

I went into our local library and said to the librarian, IS IT OK IF I SURF PORN AND MASTURBATE?,
she replied, young man this is a library,
sorry i whispered, is it ok if i surf porn and masturbate?

Dress making, made my daughters prom dress so she wouldn’t get twinned, and yes i’m a geezer with gnarly hands and a serious attitude problem.

Making love more than five times in one night. 8)
Dam i’m rubbish. :wink:

Told my other half to get herself a Terrys Choc orange while out grocery shopping tonight, a onesie sound waaaaay too extravagant.

Deflect the gun while plunging my tactical pen deep into his temple. 8)

This may be pure fantasy and the reality may involve changing my underwear a week sooner than planned. :?

Get yourself down to Waitrose and treat yourself to a rib of beef, safe in the knowledge that you won’t bump into any of those whinging middle classes, cuz they are all in Lidl buying Turkey crowns. :D

Never even heard of a down/prima loft jacket till i came on here, opened up a whole new world for me, changed my life for the better, hoping after enough research into the subject i may write a book, it probably will be available in time for next christmas.
Pre order now to avoid disappointment. :D

Yes, took two years of abuse then snapped, floored the toerag, off he scuttled to the police who came to arrest me, my gaffer at the time sorted it out for me, the said victim left soon after.

Dru 78 m/f and my other Contura a 54.

Contura i5.

Business aquaintance of my boss was dropping his kids off at nursery, was getting his young son out on the road side, car clipped the door, put him in intensive care and killed his son, i can’t for the life of me understand what possesses people to do this.

People asking about woodburning stoves, do they get hot? do i need to stop the kids from touching it?
WTF, get asked at least once a week, how do people so stupid get through life, let alone be in charge of a solid fuel heating appliance.

Brilliant, thanks for that. :D

Wait till their snoozing after lunch, then whack em.

Why, when you can get a bike that does the same for £200, i’m amazed anyone would be daft enough to spend any more. :wink:

If you’ve got £840 quid you could fit a Town and Country Runswick inset stove if your chimneys sound, you don’t need a liner as the Runswick is designed to go into an unlined chimney, i’d recommend lining the chimney when budget allows.

This then allows you to engage in combat with your brother in law, thus removing one of the internal doors from it’s hinges.

It is written, so i’m told, that any beer drunk in festive cheer must not have an ABV below 6%. it’s the law.

Me, and a catapult.

Painting the hall stairs and landing at the moment, mmmmmmm inspired, wifey did say she’d like more colour!

The definition of a hardwood is a deciduous tree, a softwood is a coniferous tree, some softwoods are denser than some hardwoods.

Ritten by a semiilliterat.

I can assure you that if you fitted a solid fuel appliance in that fireplace it would not be to building regulations.

I fit stoves for a living, a chimney fire with a closed appliance below can reach temperatures in excess of 1000 degrees, enough to damage brickwork, imagine your in bed asleep you have a chimney fire, enough heat is generated for the stove to glow red hot, fumes are now leaking into your bedroom and your wooden surround is on fire from radiation from the stove.

A cursary glance at document j of the building is not really good enough for something that could put you and your family at unnecessary risk.

Yes, give it a go, just make sure all your insurance polices are up to date.

Fitting a reg plate is going to be a problem you will also need access to above the reg plate to remove soot that collects on it if not lining the chimney.

The wooden surroud will have to go and not lining the chimney on a stove with a small output is a recipe for disaster, infact most modern stoves are designed by the manufacturers to go onto a lined chimney.

You do not know if a chimney leaks unless you have had a pressure test, this is important because if c0 leaks to a bedroom the consequeces are dire.

I wouldn’t give a 5h1tt, i’m in bed asleep by 10pm anyway.
Bit like Christmas, total dollocks.

Yes i am the lovechild of the Grinch and Scrooge, but i’ll never repent.

One for the woodburnerists, saw it, desired it, bought it.
12 tons of splitting force gruntiness.

Swimming in the local reservoir in winter, breaking concrete blocks with various body parts.
Wearing shorts and flipflops in all weathers.

Gave the wife a quality orgasm. :D
Gave the girlfriend a quality orgasm. 8)

Poker game between you, then at least one of you wins the cash.