Had a glass of wine a few days ago but nothing more than that

Not sure I want to be feeling like this for 6 weeks tbh..

Amongst all my other anxieties, health anxiety is pretty bad. So when I’m waking up with weird wavy lines on the ceiling I’m immediately thinking I’m having some kind of stroke!

I wasn’t actually in that bad a place before hand, so may have to reevaluate whether I want to keep going with these. I’m a bit of an idiot for not doing  my research before diving in..

Well today is grim..

Feel bloody awful. Was lying in bed earlier and could swear the the ceiling was moving..I hear it also does weird thing to your vision.

SSRIs mess with the computer your software runs on, the side effects can be damn nearly anything, especially in the buildup phase.

Yeah reading up on this it seems the side effects are pretty diverse. A bit of tingling I can put up with but my anxiety is worse than ever (as I knew it may be) and I’ve lost all my appetite

Thanks for all your replies

Thanks josh..tbh no I hadn’t! I read the nhs site but just looked at the slip that came with it..

Tingling – check

Palpitations – check

Gas – check

tbh those last 2 had me in a&e over the weekend after what I assumed was 2 days of solid heartburn. I mentioned I’d started on sertraline but they never linked the 2

Luckily they found nothing wrong..

Nope not charging..

But it’s switched on..

Link to gif above.

No idea how to embed it in here

That’s a plastic headset spacer that’s moving about..

https://postimg.cc/S2JXG1vW

Right..I have a video of this witchcraft..

I have even turned it into a gif

How do I post it? I don’t have a photo sharing account

I’ll try to post one later..

Yes it’s definitely a flat surface. And it’s on multiple flat surfaces that it happens.

Mine does that too – open the STW forum and after thirty seconds all the threads jump all over the place, and I end up opening some random thread about chain waxing or some shit.

No, I mean physical objects placed on the screen move about randomly! Ie, I place the phone on a flat surface, place an object on top of it, and the object moves.  I genuinely thought I was imagining it but my OH is also intrigued by it.

I can’t feel any motor vibration or anything but I assume it must be related to that

How do I post a video to demonstrate?

He knocked me down a few hundred quid for worn discs but that was all. Payment made on the sort and the car was gone. All very easy.

So the price it sells at auction isn’t necessarily the process you’ll get for the car?

Did you mention the blemishes in the listing?

I’ve put ‘scratches in paintwork consistent with age’, which I think is accurate. Whether a dealer agrees is another matter altogether.

Did it use CarPlay or was it old school?

Old-school…standard bluetooth connection

Left field thinking…

You aren’t allowed to pedal on the descents…

Not only would it significantly slow things down, but also would massively even the playing field on mountain stages. Those skinny mountain goats would be at a huge disadvantage on the descents due to lack of weight!

It’s obviously a terrible idea, but I’d be interested to see what, if any, difference it makes to results in a grand tour..

 I don’t see anything wrong with forcing teams to use bikes that are optimised for it, even if that means the bikes aren’t optimised for the rest of the riding.

So they would just descend faster, feel like they can take more risk and when they do fall off the consequences will be greater. All the recent bike tech is already causing greater speeds which contributes to the issue

You can’t place a limit on the speed they can go (well you could but that would ruin racing). And you can’t remove descents altogether, unless you always finish at the top of a hill

You could however (going back to my earlier point) insist all bikes have round tubes, and ban deep section wheels and all aero clothing, which would bring down the speeds they reach. Once you factor in bigger gripper tyres and disk brakes you’d like to think that this would mean bikes are no faster down hill than they use to be, but can stop quicker and corner more effectively. As such bike racing SHOULD be safer

The other option would be to impose a time penalty for crashing. Ie come off your bike, it’s a 5 min penalty. Some of the guys at the front would probably think harder about really pushing the limits for a few second advantage. However I suspect risk takers will always be just that..

One thing  that I think should be in place is a mechanism for ensuring riders have paid their dues in a competitive race environment before being let loose in the pro peleton. Going back to the point about snapping up riders due to their power numbers, an observation was made by an ex pro that riders no longer spend years refining their race craft as an amateur before gaining a pro license, which contributes to crashes in the peleton

I remember hearing one of the commentators saying that if you want to know what it’s like to crash on an alpine descent in a road race, drive down the motorway at 60mph in your speedos then  open the door and jump out..and that’s not even factoring in the potential to plummet over a cliff once you’ve hit the ground

The speeds they descend at are frankly mind blowing. Some guys may be better at it than others (they are all super competent relative to anyone on this forum) , but I suspect the level of competence comes second to the willingness to take risks when it comes to how dangerous it is. Tom pidcock has had some very close calls in his time. It only needs to go wrong once..

I’m staggered there aren’t more deaths tbh. But as above, how do you remove that element of the race?

This kind of thing always reminds me of when some nobber in an Audi did similar to me and my mate on a ride. At which point my sizable pal offered him a square go at side of road. His big balls suddenly shrunk to the size of peanuts and he quickly drove off muttering to himself

My point being, console yourself that sooner or later this clown will do it to the wrong person, and karma will be delivered..

For additional context…as the road was 2 lanes and 1 of them (the left lane I needed to be in) was full of parked cars, the only lane i could turn into was the ‘wrong lane’ regardless. I suspect my stressed brain knew that didn’t seem right, but didn’t click why exactly!

Interestingly I just asked my mate what side of the road we drive on….he had to think about it for a second! After 30 years of driving it’s just second nature.

Though complete memory loss is a bit like going to an ATM and completely blanking on what your passcode is, standing there for 10-15 secs waiting for it to come back (which I’ve done on 1 or 2 occasions

I don’t think it was memory loss as such.  You don’t ever really think about wht side of the road to drive on, it just happens automatically. But the lay out on the road with the direction of the parked cars clearly tricked my eye, and made my brain question it as it didt look right. And at that point, my brain just got really confused ?

Just to be clear, the memory lapse lasted about 5 seconds whilst I was stationary, having just jumped in a car I was completely unfamiliar with, and also an automatic which ive never driven before. I certainly wasn’t driving down the wrong side of the road. It was quite a narrow road that i was about to pull out on, so the cars in the left lane facing me threw me, and I temporarily had a complete brain fart

But also this..

This just suggests that you are unfit to drive due to the above….so you should have called a taxi.

I pulled over at end of road to clear my head before continuing

I suppose a better title for the thread would have been ‘do you ever forget really basic stuff when stressed’

Not driven abroad in a long time. My brain just froze…

Hi folks. Well I requested my account be deleted and it not yet happened. So I thought I’d say one more thing. Firstly thank you all for you kind words

Secondly, I’m not deleting my account because of the comments on yesterdays thread. I read them all, they were opinions which I asked for. And it provided a chance for self reflection. There is no need to delete the thread, none of the comments offended me and I certainly don’t regret posting it. In fact it made me realise I needed to speak to someone and today reached out for counseling so I can mend myself

In general I just need a break from stuff.

im sure I’ll be back in time, save the username tpbikerridesagain please mods (unless they still haven’t got round to deleting this one)

tim

See you posted without reading half the thread .. that’s the issue I was referring to

@drac if you are still a mod can you close this down please

ta

Sorry if I came across a bit harsh.

It’s just that I have been in a similar position to the “new” boyfriend in your scenario on 2 occasions.

It can put a lot of strain on relationships and is not good for anyone involved.

One of the situations was very unpleasant and came very close to escalating.

The other, he just came across sad and a bit stalky.

For everyone’s well being, especially your own, you need to move on

no worries dude. I have no intention of putting a strain on anyone’s relationship. I am trying to move on. And that means avoiding her, and her new bloke. That has meant I’ve had to quit my cycling club and cancel a holiday with my mates. It’s a million miles from trying to hang around her or stalk her, as someone suggested earlier in the thread. Lets be clear here, I didnt find out that her and her bf were going on holiday and decide to go along to cause issues. It’s quite the opposite of that

I think under the circumstances, it may be better to close the thread… it’s been discussed, analysed and answered

probably for the best. I asked a question, I got a response which I appreciated. I’ve already acknowledged she’s not a dick. Certain people seem intent to turn the screw abit, either as they haven’t read the last few pages, or they are just knobs. Either way maybe a little empathy would not be a miss

Why would anyone else be bothered that she has moved on from you?

whether they will or they won’t be, I was meaning that I’ll be there! Ie if she want to introduce her bloke to everyone, do it when I’m not there perhaps..she had the perfect opportunity already when everyone going went out for a meal at Christmas time when I was not there

Maybe she has been trying to tell you but you didn’t listen and now she is letting you know what the situation

dude, with respect I genuinely don’t know why you are bothering to respond. You’ve said your piece. You don’t know the girl from Adam. So maybe she did, equally maybe she was an absolute dick who strung me along. You have genuinely no idea whatsoever what the situation was so why continue to post to try to score points, or maybe you are just trying to upset me. If the latter it ain’t working.

for what it’s worth neither of the scenarios above is true.

She’s not the villain here. I think there could have been a slightly more sensitive way to introduce her new bloke to everyone. One that didn’t mean I’d have to be around them for a week. But as I said I probably wouldn’t have gone anyway. Whether she knew that or not who knows. And  others say she can ultimately do what she wants

 can understand why you are pissed off

tbh I can’t even be pissed off with her. I wish I could! Nah I’m just sad..

Just trying to offer advice

tbf mate you are probably right. And if I’m honest i’ve already been to the docs.  I’m a broken man. And I have been since she told me. I’m 47, I finally thought I’d found the girl I’d be with forever and now I have nowt. Can barely sleep, and my work is going to sh1t. I can’t drive down the roads we use to cycle, let alone look at my bikes. Can’t even go for dinner at the restaurant down the road as that’s where I’d go with her for dinner once a week for last year and a half. I took a massive detour the other day to avoid driving past her new house as it’s the one I suggested she buy when she asked me to go house hunting with her at end of last year. I’ve quit the cycling club. Literally every single Ive thing I’ve done since lockdown, places I’ve been etc involved her.

I’ve been through numerous break ups before and never felt like this. Not even close. This morning I woke up and my first thought was ‘bugger’ because I had to face another day..daft thing is I met a lovely lass a few weeks ago who’s pretty keen. But whenever I meet her I think of the other girl. So I’m bound to f that up as well!

So yeah, I’m an absolute mess. When she told me about the holiday it ruined me just a little more than I am already. But tbh, I knew fine well I could never have gone to Majorca with her on her own, or even without her. The place has far too many memories

anyway thanks again all. I just needed to put my thoughts down.

I will cancel for my own sanity, and have asked my mates to be nice to her if she goes. Regardless of my feelings about her holiday decision, I have no desire to cause a rift, and care too much about her to cause her unnecessary upset.

I’ve also apologized to her for some rather harsh words shared in anger yesterday. Life’s too short to bear ill will, and hopefully she will accept that.

it has been good to be able to share my thoughts folks, and I appreciate (most of) the responses. Especially a couple of guys that took the time to PM me outside this thread.

cheers guys 👍

Perhaps a better title to the thread would have been ‘ I can’t face going on holiday with my ex and her new bf’, what should I do?’ And I think badlywireddog has summed it up nicely, as have others.

👍

She may well be under pressure from the new boyfriend who is feeling uncomfortable with the fact that his girlfriend is going to be spending a few days on holiday alone with her ex and you could hardly blame him.

agreed. The easy solution to that would have been for her (or me) to just to go out with everyone else a few days later but that’s not the call she’s taken, and tbf  If I felt like I do come May it wouldn’t make much of a difference, I’d still be miserable whether the others were there or not!

i wish I could take a call further down the line, I may not give a crap by then. But realistically I can’t afford to waste the money if I decide not to go so the decision needs to be taken now

In my defense I originally walked away after we split up..

3 months later her sister unexpectedly died and she came calling for comfort (not that type of comfort!) . It just went from there..I suspect she took advantage of my feelings for her a bit and I blindly went along with it out of naive optimism!

but yes, as I’ve admitted I’m a mug!

You sure?

Yep quite sure thanks. I asked for opinions on whether I was being unreasonable, not an analysis on my mental state from someone that knows nothing about me, the girl involved, or what went on between us. Because in that regard, your opinion is absolutely worthless👍

The problem is tpbiker’s feelings for her, which are now inappropriate

dude you make it sound like I’ve done something wrong! She was a massive part of my life for last 3 years, she’s known how I felt for past 2 years. We were very very close, as everyone going on the holiday knows. That she doesn’t feel the same doesn’t mean I can just switch off my feelings for her. Sure I was a total mug for naively thinking something may develop further, but it’s only been a month since I found out for sure it wouldn’t. Since then I’ve done everything possible to avoid her and move on. Sure I’m hurting a bit, but I don’t think not being ready to go on holiday with the happy couple qualifies me as a therapy case just yet!😂

think you need to work this out with your actual mates who know both of you and can give perspective based on real  experience

I did try that, with 2 of our mutual mates who are going . And have been slated on here for doing so for ‘poisoning the well’!!

OP I have a lot of admiration for the thick skin you have shown when inviting, then accepting good humouredly the harsh ‘advice’ you’ve had on here.

it’s a forum! I asked for opinions and I got them! Not going to take the hump just because it’s not what I want to hear!

You’re right, it’s perfectly normal and why you shouldn’t have been mates for a long time mate

Yep.. you are 100% correct

Did you tell them, because it sounds if you did in order to recruit allies to your cause

no, I told them because i was letting 2 good mates know I probably wasn’t going to go and the reason why. Don’t see what’s sinister in that. Both said they felt it was out of order, knowing the situation as they do (better than those that are judging me on here!) Or perhaps they were just placating their mate. Who knows. The others that are going don’t even know yet, or at least I haven’t told them

Cancel now. Work everything else out later

wise words which I will follow

thanks for the input guys, bit harsh at times but I asked for your opinion and got it. Just to be clear though, I’m not bitter about her, just sad. And yes of course I can’t go because I’ll utterly break me seeing her with another guy right now. I don’t think that’s a particularly unnormal reaction when you are in love with someone!

cheers anyway👍

Have you thought about going on a wild week-long coke and hookers binge in Amsterdam instead?

actually yes I have!!

Why not just chill and see how you feel in summer? You might have a new person in your life anyway and then you can be mates again?

because I need to cancel now or lose the 1800 quid I’ve spent on it! Given she probably knew I wouldn’t go if he came, and she knew the cut off for Payment is this week, it would have been nice of her to voluntarily tell me!

You hadn’t admitted to being fake friends with her when she booked it

Once again, she knew fine well what I wanted when we she booked it!!