I have never been in a stand up fight as an adult and now I am 31 and a father I guess I never wil be.
I have been punched a few times and head butted once, but have just walked away with no other injuries and I have punched a few people, but made sure that that wil be all that needs to happen. I guess, being 6’3, 18 stone skin head may have something to do with it.
I did one night after leaving University beat up 20 kids in one go. No joke!
I was on the last bus home from town (Cambridge, not known for its trouble) and I was to say the least a little drunk. A kid got off the bus at the same stop as me and started walking the same direction as me a few paces ahead.
Next thing someone behind me shouts ‘there he is! Get him’. I panic thinking I am about to get a kicking.
The kid in front starts running for his life as a big group of chavs run past me. In my drunken state I decide this isn’t fair and think I should go even things up (why there are loads of them?).. I give chase and as I round a corner there they are kicking the bejesus out of the kid. The first thing I see is a large yellow traffic cone that I pick up and swing above my head. I run at the kids and **** about 6 of them aroiund the head with. I then throw the cone at a couple of them that are starting to leg it away.
Now with no weapon (this I don’t remember, but I am told) I tear open my shirt and give out a primal scream like a drunken mad man. I then start windmilling my fists like a loon, with the occasional fist making contact with the chavs. I pick the battered and bloody kid off the floor and start to run with him under my arm, like a rugby ball (Always been a handy number 8 or second row, so its second nature). I drop him out side his house where his parents have witnessed the whole thing. I button up whats left of my shirt and walk home.
I passed out on the sofa and was woken at 8am the next morning by my Dad and another police officer who are looking for witnesses to a fight that occured down our street last night. At this point I have absolutley no recolection of it. They (the police) have 15 reports of assult by one man on a local gang.
My Dad and his colleague were laughing so hard nothing ever came of it. I get a knowing wink from the kids Mum when ever I go back to my parents and I have bumped in to the kid a few times who is always quick to buy me a beer and thank me. To this day I have vague recollections of it, the rest is pieced together from the police report and what the kid has told me, but I can’t beleive it really happened as I would never put myslef in such a situation normally.