A mate of mine was really paranoid that they’d pop the twins out as part of the procedure, roll them into a container and send them off to the lab, leaving him with an empty sack. No amount of reassurance would convince him otherwise – even from his GP, who apparently “had a shifty look on his face” when he told him that the clockweights would be left “in situ”, as it were. I mean, it’s as if Google had never been invented.

We stayed in Chatillon sur Seine too – Hotel Sylvia to be precise. It reminded me of 1950s France (or rather, what I’d always imagined 1950s France would be like). Although we only stayed the night, it suited our needs travelling en route from the south. Cheap, great breakfast, clean rooms and the owners were v helpful. They have a garage for bikes. It’s a smallish town with a few restaurants but not as big as Reims. It felt very safe and offsite parking a bonus. It may be a bit quiet if you’re staying for a longer period but ideal for a few days. I think we paid around 80€ between 4 of us for a shared room plus extra for breakfast. We ate in a place called Cote d’Or and had a fantastic meal. I’d go there again.

Ah! You’re right, Molgrips. It’s Mint & Mustard I mean on Whitchurch Rd, not purple poppadum. It’s the alliteration that threw me. I keep calling it Pickled Radish too, but that’s in Laleston (and that’s very good too if you’re out that way!).

To answer about Miller & Carter, the steaks in my experience have been very good. The wait usually reflects the fact that it’s good, but not had anything other than steak there. One of the better places to get a steak in town in my experience (about 8 visits) over the past year or so. You’ll not complain about the food, but you might about the service which has been, bizarrely, worse (slow) when it’s quiet in my experience. The Clink would be my choice.

Been going to Cittas regularly since they opened and agree that it’s quaint, friendly and very very good Italian food. However, they’re back home in Italy for a few weeks and will probably be closed when you go (that’s if you can even get in without booking). They originally owned Cibos in Pontcanna and you can get essentially the same menu at Cibos, which is arguably a nicer environment (and an indoor toilet…). It’s a short walk up Cathedral Rd. Alternatively, another good Italian is Casanova opposite the entrance to the Millennium stadium. I also agree with Potted Pig. Great food and can be a good “underground” atmosphere if the right crowd are in. With regard to chains, Miller & Carter do reliably good steaks and Jamies can be good. If you have time during the day, check out Pettigrews tearooms for a good old fashioned afternoon tea (set into the castle wall next to the bridge over the Taff. Depending on the time of your visit, you could catch the water taxi by Pettigrews down to the bay, where there a number of chain places to eat, but better choice of quality in town. If it’s a Friday and you like Jazz, there’s usually great Jazz and tapas at the fabulous college of music and drama behind the castle, although check dates to see if they’ve restarted sessions after Xmas. Avoid Caroline St unless you like chips. And chicken. And curry sauce – that’s unless it’s the wee hours and you need sustenance to soak up the beer.
It’s a fantastic city. You’ll love it. PS Barkers coffee shop near to where you’re staying (same arcade as Madame Fromage) and Garlands in the arcade opposite the castle (I think Duke St arcade) are good for coffee (Barkers) and lunch (Garlands). For chain coffee, #1 Coffee (owned by Brains) are very good too. The brewery quarter has choice, but not quality. Bistrot Pierre is the best of a very mediocre bunch in the 1/4 in my opinion (your views may vary etc)
Molgrips is probably referring to the purple poppadum and it is very good. You should also consider The Clink next to the prison. Cast away all of your preconceptions about the concept of food cooked by inmates because the food is very very good and not at all what you’d expect. Seriously.

I’ll never forget where I was when I first read about goose fat and rosemary in a dauphinoise. Not tried it yet but suspect it may be touched with genius. Thank you Mr Stoner. I will try that.
Here’s my 2p worth. It’s fail safe.
Thinly slice the potatoes with a mandolin. Try to get a few that slice to paper thin and keep them aside for the last layer. Soak them in water for a minute, then take out and dry completely on a clean towel. Butter a glazed stoneware dish (about 2″ deep) and start layering with potatoes, overlapping 50% of each slice as you do it. With each layer, sprinkle with salt and a little crushed garlic and shake your booty for a lap of the kitchen with Bob Marley playing in the background*. Use the slices with extra thin wispy bits on the last layer (these crisp up deliciously). Then take a jug and fill 3/4 double cream to 1/4 milk. Fill your dish to about 1cm below the top of the potatoes (and make sure that the liquid runs over all of the surface potatoes as you pour (seems to stop them catching). Then with a cheese slicer or knife take 3 shavings of butter and place on the surface. Then grate fresh nutmeg all over the top and put in a pre warmed oven at 150 degrees for 2 hours.
Then go out for a ride.
If you’re veggie, you could have it with a crispy salad and chiiled white wine whilst reflecting on why there isn’t a slab of Welsh Black fillet on your plate.
Never fails. Delicious. I know, I know – you’ll have burned off the calories from all the cream whilst having your ride. Chill.
*This burns extra calories

(You have to buy the mouseproof PIR separately, because the ones that come with it are ordinary ones)

A big dog who sleeps in the same place as your bike.
A friend of mine has the following alarm. Wireless, battery operated sensors (last a min of 2 years and indicate when running low), control panel can be located (anywhere) in house (and plugged into mains/telephone line to phone you when triggered and set remotely via phone), alarm box fitted high up on house and makes one hell of a racket. I helped him fit it and was ridiculously easy. They even do a mouseproof PIR.
http://www.screwfix.com/p/yale-premium-wireless-alarm-kit/54473?cm_sp=Search-_-SearchRec-_-Area1&_requestid=82222#_=p
Make it as difficult as possible for them, to slow them down, and noisy while they’re trying, to broadcast their presence. A shed’s not going to stop a determined thief.

Brilliant film, brilliant post. Bravo, Munrobiker. I enjoyed that very, very much. Thanks for sharing. Should our paths ever cross, there’s a pint with your name on it at the bar!

Actually, it’s Jack Wills not Jack Wilks. Jack Wilks was a friend of my grandfather and nothing to do with a pink & blue merchandiser.

Better than it was but not as good as using it through the Spotify app (if such a thing were possible). I don’t think that the Spotify stuff shows as well via the Sonos app as if does when using the Spotify app, but unfortunately it seems you have to go “via the Sonos app” if you see what I mean. Mine used to constantly lose the music feed with a “searching for Sonos” type message on my phone. However, since the most recent iOS and Sonos update it hardly ever does that now. Not sure if that was an Apple, Spotify or router prob but seems to have sorted itself. Hopefully one day we’ll have some sort of “stream to Sonos” option in Spotify. That would be best. It wouldn’t stop be buying one though and I’m sure that plenty of people wouldn’t be bothered about it.

Thegreatape, you got off lightly, trust me. How about a shopping trip with MrsT and daughters? Losing the will to live standing outside the changing room in Jack Wilks where they’ll sell any old tat as long as it has pink and blue stripes. Standing like a spare part, holding MrsT’s handbag with a mildly outstretched arm in an “it’s obviously not my handbag” kind of way. Then off to John Lewis perfume dept to have perfume squirted on me when they’ve run out of wrists (you have to squirt it on the wrists, didn’t you know, but you can’t sniff it straight away – you have to waft your arm in the air in a figure of eight fashion for several minutes before passing it under everyone elses nose for judgement. Perfume “smells different on different people” didn’t you know? I apparently suit Mark Jacobs floral notes, which is no proud boast, trust me). Then back to Jack Wilks, where it’s even more busy than it was earlier to see what a £50 t shirt looks like and stand in a queue the length of the store watching frenzied WAGs rifle through pink & blue coloured baubles, diaries, creams and lotions (which the shopkeepers can’t replenish fast enough) with the occasional bloke with far too much interest in his appearance, dolled up and preening his hair in the mirror in a way that shouldn’t come naturally to people with testiculos. They’re off to Hotel Chocolate while muggins stands like a loser in the Jack Wilks queue for the till. Next stop Holister where they must have ecological considerations, because despite the air being thick with wheeze inducing cheap perfume, the lights and air conditioning are switched off, so you have to squint and choke your way in the dark through a series of clothes designed to fit only people weighing less than six stone. Next up, Superdry. Now I’ll admit to a passing interest here because MrsT junior mentioned that they sell wooly hats. But do they have a wooly hat dept? Oh no. The hats are sprinkled throughout the store with no logical layout and most of the woolly ones have a “bobble” (I kid you not) on top that shouts “how stupid am I to wear a hat with a bobble and pay £50 for it”? Do they have a T shirt dept? No. They scatter them randomly in piles amongst other garments. So you have to wander through narrow aisles (not easy when you’re carrying 20 bags and therefore 4ft wide trying to squeeze down 1ft aisles, mouthing the words “I am a loser” to passers by). So, thegreatape, I’d say you have it pretty dandy-o. You could be stood at the till, smelling of Marc Jacob’s “Apricot nuance” whilst balancing 29 bags with a combined weight of 3cwt, trying to extract a credit card in meltdown from your wallet whilst Mrsgreatape and Mrsgreatape junior stand outside munching £5 chocolate fancies while pondering the merits of £90 Jack Wilks jogging pants in blackberry peuce, or shoud it be the navy?

If you have an iOS device (or lucky enough to have the new Apple TV, which can run the app directly without having to stream from another device) I would strongly recommend the Yoga Studio app. There are a set of specific back exercises, amongst others (incl balance & strength exercises). Costs abourt £3 and consists of many 15, 30 or 60 minute sessions guided by a sort of video animation of what you should be doing. For some bizarre reason, seems only on iOS when I last looked, no idea why because it’s really good and should be available on Android too. Recommended to me by a sports physio and I can’t speak highly enough of it.

Also, to state the obvious, if you’re staying with Sky, be sure to phone them annually to “cancel” and get the discounts. Even if they call your bluff, you have 28 days to change your mind. I think they thrive on the fact that people still run the same package for years, paying the same inflated figure, without ever questioning it.

PS My son tells me that you can save the free channels in your favourites to make it easier scrolling through them quickly using the blue button. @Mickey74 I won’t be on STW for much longer this evening but if you want me to check if a specific channel is still available, post it up and I’ll check to let you know. I haven’t looked at all channels but can quickly check specific ones if it’s helpful to you

I ditched the full Monty multiroom, all the channels, HD etc with Sky rcently and it came to an end a month ago. An easier decision after working out I’d paid enought to Murdoch over the years to pay for a new car and it didn’t seem worth it for the amount of use. It was an interesting experience. After phoning the cancel line, I was immediately offered a third off, without any haggle at all. With a little bit of haggling (it was a slow day..,) I was offered a new high capacity box. I made sure that I requested no comms or marketing on leaving (and they’ve been true to their word). The result? Well, I did so with trepidation at first, but a month in, I wish I’d done it years ago. We’ve lost recording, pause and playback of prevously recorded stuff. We can still see all of the traditional terrestrial channel stuff, but strangely not the HD versions of ITV 2, 3, 4. A nice consequence of this is that we now all sit in same room to watch programmes “live” and it’s more of an event sitting down for a weekend prog, including kids helping clear dishes etc after tea so that we can all sit down! We have several Apple TVs and that’s great for airplaying stuff (iPlayer etc) and Netflix. I thought I’d be rushing out to get a new recorder box thingy, but really don’t feel the need. If you’ve got Sky and paying through the nose for it as I was and thinking of ditching it, do it. Do it now and start saving. Best thing I’ve ever done, but appreciate that some people watch more TV and might not suit everyone. PS the remotes and Sky+ boxes in other rooms (I know, I know) and magic eyes all still work too, by the way.

McMoonter – an elderly friend of my parents had this. Same sort of scenario as you describe. It turned out to be a rare side effect of a statin tablet she was taking for cholesterol, but she went through a lot of investigations and scans before the diagnosis was made. Ended up seeing a neurologist privately because the NHS waiting list was so long and he made the diagnosis. That was a few years ago and to my knowledge, she’s not had it since stopping the medication. From what I’ve heard, it’s not the sort of thing that you can diagnose yourself and probably worth discussing with his/her doctor if not already done so? Lots of other possible diagnoses were mooted before the cause was found. Hope that helps.

Ha! It does read like that, doesn’t it? For balance, I didn’t think the main dealer was as good as Audi/BMW but still asking inflated prices. A hired (new) Galaxy was quieter and much more economical on the motorway. PS I regularly put bikes on roof (and on rear carrier). It is more difficult getting them down off tall vehicles, but I developed a knack of stepping on rear wheel and rear door sill (when door open). I also used to put the smaller/lighter bikes on the roof. Easily takes 6 bikes and passengers that way (roof & back) with usual luggage space inside…..erm but other 4x4s and people carriers do that as well :-)

I ran an XC90 for 8 yrs from new. Without question, the best family car I’ve ever owned. Superb design with a depth to the engineering that you only appreciate with ownership. Downsides are tyre wear on front nearside tyre (becaeuse it pivots that side on roundabouts – contintental ones wear on the “other” side (nothing to do with tracking) and mpg/engine refinement at idle. There’s also a momentary delay when pulling off (fixed by a Volvo approved software update to engine management). German cars I’ve owned have higher perceived quality when sat in cabin and, whilst undoubtedly well made, are no more reliable in my experience. If you already own an estate, you’ll already know about the legendary front seats – utterly amazing on a long journey, the industrial strength heater/aircon. Every car I’ve owned in the past 10yrs had had xenons but the steerable ones on the XC90 seemed way better (may be more to do with height, because the replacement bulb must be pretty standard). Even the reversing lights lit up a dark driveway very well. In the winter you can operate all the controls wearing gloves and the dashboard is very clear and easy to operate without taking eyes off the road (wish I could say the same about the touchscreen in the new one). You’ll appreciate the height over the estate – great for viewing ahead over the hedgerows on country lanes. The rear seats are reasy easy to tuck away and get out – again v well thought out. The upgraded Danish hifi is brilliant and the integrated child seats, the work of genius. If you get a good independant, the running costs aren’t bad and a mechanic friend of mine loves working on them because you can get at the bits and quality engineering. At 8 yrs old, the paint finish on mine was pristine (it was looked after though, I’ll admit). Admission time – I only bought it initially because I had to seat 6, needed ability to drive up rutted farm track and snow and XC90 ticked the boxes. It was in some ways a reluctant purchase because its predecessor was a German performance car and I hated the whole “boring Volvo” image. It was a revelation. Big fan. Seriously considering the new one. Most owners are full of praise and hang on to them for a long time, which says it all.

PSA for those with an inqusitive mind. Don’t try the “sniff a lighter flame” method. The hit of agonising pain is instant (and, strangely, felt in the back of the throat as well) and when you eventually stop sneezing (hours, not minutes), you’ll notice a browny/red liquid with little black charcoaly bits seeping from the affected nostril. I’m not sure what sort of primitive threat has led to the body to evolve by simultaneous eye watering and every sphincter snapping shut in unison the instant the flame touches nostril lining either, but you can look forward to that as well.

I’ve never done it, but it’s possible to ride from Mumbles along the Swansea bay seafront on a cycle path. I think it’s the sort of route that’s shared with pedestrians, so may be busy at this time of year. Someone local will be along to tell you more but I suspect it’s better if you’re riding with small children. There’s also a cycle route along the Heritage coast by Llanelli. I think it’s possible to park up by the RSPB reserve.
Further afield is the Taff Trail. That sounds more like what you’re looking for. You could pick it up at Cardiff bay or drive up to Brecon and ride down. Taff trail would be my choice if I was looking for a 30 mile, quietish bike ride with family.

Cinema Paradiso. Besides being the best film ever made, the ending is just a complete work of art. Brings together a theme that runs through the film and knocks you for six at the end. Sublime. Don’t be put off by subtitles. It’s an incredible piece of work and deserved all of the awards bestowed on it over the years. Director’s cut is the one to get as the abbreviated version misses out quite a lot. Google it and I’m sure that you’ll see loads of great reviews. Don’t go through life never having seen it. Masterpiece.

McMoonter – Fizik has hit the nail on the head. There’s nothing like a big Volvo estate for munching miles and carrying stuff in comfort. Volvo put a lot of work into their seats (I think they’re designed in conjunction with an orthopaedic dept in a university). Volvo seat is the only seat I’ve ever got out of after a 600 mile trip and felt I could do it again. Built to last and easy to work on. Safe as houses too and will carry those fantastic paintings with minimum effort.

Thanks for all the replies. Just the information I need.
Hatter – I like your style.
Thanks, folks.

I used to have one years ago and it was an absolute hoot. Never tired of that engine noise. Engine warning light coming on not unheard of according to one reliable source. Usually a lambda sensor, but coil packs were known to fail. I have no idea what that means, but was told to me by someone who fixed them and knew them well. They tended to run originally on Pirelli P Zero rossos but mine was vastly better on Michelin pilot sport tyres. Darn it, I’m starting to wish I still had it. A real Q car. Looked totally benign but oooh that snarl. Someone once came up to me in a car park as I was walking to the ticket machine and said “What the hell you got under that bonnet, son. It sounds like a bloody Aston!” (It didn’t but I knew what he meant!). Enjoy it. You only live once. Don’t go to dealers. Find a good independant. If you’re running it on a very tight budget, search “Audi A3 8p” on Ebay to see lots of 2nd hand parts and reclaimed bits. I bet it doesn’t rattle though, even at 10yrs old. Don’t pimp it up. Stealth is the key. German cars have a reputation for being soulless, but it always felt like a little rascal to me! Loved it. I used to get better mpg using the high octane petrols, but it’s not the sort of car you get if mpg is a priority. Wanders off to browse Audi A3 3.2 on Autotrader……

I took mine apart, fitted new seals and put clean fluid in. You can still buy a seal kit from Chainreaction and I got an Avid bleed kit from Epic solutions. Various tutorials/instructions online if you google it. Mine work great now, as new (although how long that lasts is anybody’s guess). In fairness though, I’ve had many years trouble free use until the last few weeks and the above service seems to have sorted it. I’m sure your local shop will do it for you if you’re not mechanically minded. Good luck. Hope you manage to sort it.

Thanks, IHN. I really appreciate that. Will look into that. Anyone with any other suggestions of small towns? For those who know Wales, we’re looking for a sort of Abergavenny/Crickhowell equivalent, not a French version of Newport/Merthyr (with apologies to anyone from Merthyr/Newport – no offence intended)

Actually, I misread that. I thought you were looking for where to go around Calais, not after Calais. Doh! Ingore most of what I’ve said :-)

I’ll second Bruges. Not far from Calais (an easy day trip if staying around Calais) and Bruges/Belgium is great if you want to get around the area by bike. As you’ve said, a lot of the WW1 battlefields are around the area, but very moving when you see the graves in the flesh (not the sort of thing to brighten up a holiday). Hill 62 is where most people go to see trenches and a small WW1 museum but I found it a bit depressing, I have to say. Montreuil is a lovely town and worth a visit if you fancy a wander around a typically French town. Victor Hugo apparently based Les Miserables on Montreuil and you can see why. They often hold open air concerts and plays in the summer. I’d also recommend Atelier 26 if you’re looking for somewhere to eat while you’re there. Le Touquet is worth a visit too. Massive flat beach (so big, you’ll struggle to see the sea when it’s out) with plenty of restaurants and bars, horse riding amd cycling. I’m not into golf, but the area’s apparently good for golf too. Expensive for the area. In general, the food is good (pork, apples, cider and fish seems to be their thing) and plenty of cycling but your view of the area will be weather dependant and similar climate to the south east, not surprisingly – can be rainy and misty. Not the best choice in France but enough to see to make a visit worthwhile. The further from Calais the better. The downside is that there”s quite a bit of industry there and quite a few places flattened during the war so not a place that attracts tourists, often with good reason. It can also be “rough” in places around the ports (as anywhere). I had a Bastereau lookalike try – and fail – to forcibly relieve me of my wallet in Boulogne whilst walking down a main street with my family. Avoid the big shopping mall places around Calais. Soul destroying, unless you’re into that sort of thing. If you want to eat near Calais, go a few minutes down the coast to Audresselles. It’s nothing to look at but there are some great little fish restaurants (the sort of slightly shabby looking places where the locals eat but good food – La Marie Galante and Chez Mimi being two but don’t look much from the outside).

Thanks for the replies.
Titusrider – that’s just what I need. Many thanks.
(PS Harry’s just posted a new video featuring his 911 Turbo – 34,000 views in 2 days by the looks of it! I could listen to him talk about his classic cars all day long).

I should emphasise that in my case, this was all sorted by tweaking the BT email account settings on the iPhone. I didn’t have to log in to my account on the BT website or anything.

Sorry – I mean BT email, as in email address ending in @btinternet.com and the other derivatives. I don’t think it was anything to do with the router or actual broadband, just the email account (and it was tweaking the email account settings on the iPhone that sorted it in my case). Hope that helps.

Iolo – I had exactly the same thing a few weeks ago. You’re not with BT by any chance? I contacted ISP (BT) and they talked me through deleting the account then setting up email account from new. It initially didn’t work but when we went back into SMTP settings in the email account, there were a few in there that needed to be unticked and ticking a few others. This sorted it. I’m not technical and no idea exactly how or why this worked but there may be enough info there for you, or someone else, to sort it. Interestingly, other email accounts with the same ISP in the household had no such problems on Apple devices, only me. There has apparently been an issue with some accounts with Yahoo getting hacked and someone from BT told me they’re in the process of changing people over from Yahoo mail – something like that. Not sure if that’s anything to do with it.

Actually, I’m talking about the farm that straddles the road just after the first bit of road after the grassy Gap descent. I don’t think that the farm I’m talking about is as far as Llanfrynach. I think it’s the first farm you come across on the road section.

Yes, I’ve had problems there too. We were riding in a group of 4 a few months ago. A pack of very aggressive dogs came out both sides and began to “shepherd” my 14yr old off to the side. Thankfully, he had the sense to keep going. If he’d stopped, I’m pretty sure they’d have gone for him despite my best attempts to shield him. We were lucky not to get bitten. At the time I/we were glad to get out of it unscathed but I regretted not contacting the police at the time. It’s the only time I’ve felt seriously threatened by properly aggressive dogs that mean business. Dread to think what would happen if someone went through with a younger child and only a matter of time until someone gets a serious injury there. I’d avoid it if I could but don’t know any other route after the long Gap descent (which I suspect is the owner’s motive – no way are they unaware of what those dogs are like).

Does it have a CD player? If it does, get yourself a blank CD from PC World, stick it in the CD player, turn the volume up loud. Sorted.

Thanks, gravity-slave. Will try that.

Jury’s out for me. I run mine from Apple devices. The main issue is that it frequently drops out (every 20 mins or so) where it fails to connect, irrespective of iOS device used and despite going through the relatively simple connect process to pair (if that’s the right word) the devices. Often it won’t connect at all. I’m not sure whether it’s a Sonos, Apple or WiFi issue, but a pain all the same. Another pain is that it won’t play any of my iTunes library on the cloud only what’s actually downloaded on the iOS device. As a result, I use it mainly for Spotify, but again the Spotify via the Sonos app isn’t as good as the Spotify app. Sound quality is good but not up to audiophile standards (no problem for me in the locations where the Sonos units are located). Also handy to locate it out of sight (some of ours above units at ceiling level and fills the room nicely with sound). I would stress that some of these things may not be Sonos specific and I’m a tech numpty, so bear in mind that I may be making basic errors as I never RTFM. The frequent failure to connect thing would have stopped me getting it, had I known. It may work better with non Apple stuff, I don’t know, so others may be able to guide you there.

Cat alternating with cow and downward dog, probably?

If you have an iOS device, try the Yoga Studio app. Plays on your iPad or streams to the TV mirroring on Apple TV. It was recommended to me by a sports physio who looks after professional atheletes. It’s extremely good indeed. I’ve ached in places I didn’t know. It’s helped me with strength, flexibility and balance. I do 30 minute sessions most days. It’s as easy as coming home, switching on TV and following a video of an instructor. Feels like 1:1 tuition. My life’s so busy at present that I know I wouldn’t keep up with classes but I’ve kept going with this. Doesn’t seem to be very new age and the back class seems to replicate the back exercises recommended by most conventional physios/musculoskeletal references. I’m not sure if the app is available on android or elsewhere. Highly recommended. It’s true what others say too – you do feel more relaxed or “wound down” afterwards, I guess no different from going for a walk. I’ve been getting probs with a tight iliotibial band in my R leg (knee pain) and hoping it will help with that, although it’ll be difficult to tell because I’m doing specific stretches for that.
If you’re like me, you’ll be surprised how hunched up and inflexible you are and you’ll be surprised how much it helps balance.