How Rudolphs Nose became red:
Twas on a frosty Christmas Morn,
That Santa, with his stash of elven porn,
Staggered forth, his perverse plan to begin.
To find poor Rudolph, and kick his back doors in.
Santa swayed, he swigged his festive Gin,
Lurching on, drunken drool on his grizzled chin.
Intent on emptying his Christmas Sack,
All over Rudolf’s furry reindeer back.
Rudolf slept, innocent, and unknowing,
As Santa approached his Christmas present growing.
Every Christmas henceforth, Rudolph now involuntarily twitches.
But counselling will help and possibly internal stitches.
Rudolph never spoke of what happened in that shed,
But everafter his nose was a bright, angry red.
He lost the spring in his canter, his antlers grew limp.
Santa took advantage and became his pimp.
So a life of sexual slavery for poor Rudolph, began.
As Santa sold his Reindeer to Businessmen from Japan.
He began not to care, he lost his reindeer pride.
With every inappropriate, demeaning, festive ride.
This sordid affair went on for decades.
Until poor Rudolph contracted Reindeer AIDS.
But if anything, this story teaches the real message of Christmas.
Avoid guys with beards, they are potentially rapists.