If she still has yet to collect her things, take the high ground. Move all her stuff downstairs into one room. Don't be vindictive or unpleasant, cold might be the way to go. Stack things or hang them or bag them up.

She's made to feel unwelcomed in your new home. You have a cuppa, she's not offered one. No seating so she can't get comfortable. No you don't want to talk, do all correspondence by mail and never email. If he comes with her to collect the belongings, he's not to come over the threshold, she can pass things to him or he can stay in the car.

In short – take back what modicum of control you can. “Take you belongings and leave” to my mind is all you should be saying to her. Make sure there are some changes to the home that she will see.

It knocks you for six & you feel you need some answers.

At some point you'll realise that "why" is not only important but it’s completely the wrong question. It's now about moving on to a new chapter.

Being single has some major advantages and hopefully, once your spine is in better condition you can re-engage with the bike & other physical activities.

As you say, you and your life feel empty, empty home, emptiness surrounding the family that is now on hold. Things might seem a little pointless right now, but that feeling passes. In all honesty, 2 years will make the biggest difference, so plan for the long haul and make the changes necessary.

I don't have a magic wand, but it seems many men in the same position then leap into pretty much the first loving relationship that comes their way and re-marry within 2 years – this I would caution you against.

I would caution you against the booze – it's Fools Gold. Go through the home and cull everything that is hers or reminds you of her. You do not want to be stumbling over sentimental items of hers that bring memories flooding back in the weeks and months to follow. This means all the music too that reminds you of her & the times you've had together. Go the whole hog, throw out all the bed sheets & linen buy new, fresh ones, re-decorate what you can, change as much as you feel you can and want to, the car, the settee, you name it – try and get this new chapter in your life really into gear. It will also send any signal to her – "you're gone & I'm moving on now rather well, thank you for the opportunity"

Look forward & not backwards and reminisce – that’s never going to serve you now. Surround yourself with things that occupy your time effectively – time on your hands (which you have) is not a good place to be. The busier you can be, the quicker your life will move onwards; time spent dwelling over what was, what might have been and what now can not be (with her) is absolutely self defeating and you must make a conscious effort to stop yourself every time you slip into this frame of mind.

I hope this is in some way a help, but be practical and resourceful, find things to do and shed your old skin. Now is a new chapter and so adapt. Good luck.

Tron.
You're still missing the point.
In this I also added that age of course makes a difference, it's harder to see muscle growth / repair or fat loss as you age. Or are you immune to physics in this regard?

Mol: I'm not a professional and nor are 98+% of this forum. The OP wants to know if it's like giving up tobacco, which I wouldn't know about, but as you are illustrating, as middle aged non-professionals, we (?) have to be careful in citing unrealistic, unobtainable and dishonest aims. This is what I think needs to be better understood, that a gradual, sustainable, realistic weight loss of fat over a reasonable time frame is possible without too much disruption to life-styles.

Much else seems fanciful, unrealistic and extraordinary and therefore utter unhelpful to Hora’s plight. Don’t make it too technical and a task-too-far.

Interesting!
I fancy the English rounf TBH.
I'll ask, thanks for the heads-up.

F1 Drivers lose up to 3kg in fluids in a hot race. NOT fat![/url]
You are unlikely to be losing 4lbs of fat per week – just think that one through!
However, if you seriously think you are, then the best of luck to you.

I would suggest a fat-content check if you are trying to lose fat. Going at it hammer and tongue you will possibly lose as much, if not more muscle as fat in this drive to lose weight.

Slowly-slowly, catch a monkey. Gradual, sustainable weight loss is more than achievable if you're honest & realistic in your aims and methods. There's nothing to be gained by feeling lethargic and short of energy on a 2-3hr training ride as this achieves bu££er all.

To combine a high work load in your training and in the frequency of this training (let's say 3 rides a week of 2-3hrs duration), you need some restrained measure and level of common sense in your approach. Longer rides at the 60-80% HRmax is more aerobic and better for weight loss than going anaerobic into Zone 1 at 75- 80%+ which in turn is not going to result in your body utilising fats stored in the body.

That's why a max of 1lb of fat per month over 18 months is achievable and sustainable and honest and realistic (at 45yrs of age).

Tron.
You're so far off centre to be quite alarming really!

A good illustration of that is in deed the Oven chips, which are everything you presume to them not to be.

Much weight loss, be it on a bike or in the gym during sustained heavy loads is water. After a 12 or 24hr ride for a few days my weight is lower than at the start, it's not the fat content that's being consumed, but water loss. Look at the F1 drivers – they're in the race for a relatively short period, but they lose a great deal of water from their bodies. This is a fact you're failing to comprehend I feel.

That's why a fat reading is what you need not weigh loss for weight loss sake.

Hora – I'm not saying you adopt my feeding plan, but don't assume that a small adjustment in your own feeding is going to have the desired result – you may simply stop putting the weight on – obvious really.

If, as I do, you live with two elderly dogs, you'll find that the smell of incontinence becomes less of an issue since you're daily cleaning up poo from within the home!

I've been getting up at least once a night for the last 2 years at about 2am to clean up.

Tron.

I believe the calculation is something like 3000 calories = 1lb in that if you use up 3000 calories more than you consume, you'll have to find that from stored muscle & fat.

Losing weight is not difficult. It's losing fat that is needed for long term weight loss & that's the hardest part. Especially as you age, this becomes more difficult.

Then you have to consider how this weight loss is sustainable. That's where the change of life-style becomes all-important. You can spend hours in the gym and on the bike but it's not sustainable at that level for the next 10+ years. So weight loss for weight loss sake is not the solution in the long run & should be viewed at best as a short term solution to a particular problem, but ultimately, it’s Fools' Gold.

Much of this should also be viewed as % of one’s overall size and shape. 4lbs to you in a month might have little visible impact if you’re built like Arnie, but 4lbs to me would show.

PS – Wrong form of the verb; "Sitting" is what you meant to say.

For those still stuck in the 20th century (not riding tubeless):
Hiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

Looks like a long weekend in Scotland might have to be arranged! 😉

Ton.
You need to lose fat, not weight per se.

You might well be able to shed some weight if, as this week's Supersize "v" Superskinny amply illustrates. If that guy cuts back to 1 bags of crips and 1/2 a cake and 10 & not 25 meat balls etc etc, he'll perhaps not put so much on or even lose some, but just consider his start-point!

When next you're in a butchers, ask to see 1lb of meat and try and equate that to 1lb of stored fat in your body & you'll see that it's a substantial amount for the body to have self-consumed in the course of 7 days. You have to be realistic and honest – something I think many dieters simple are not.

I always like the smell of new mown grass / hay, 'oft in that early evening dampness (I live at the bottom of a hill) you get when the dew starts to form. That to me is a summer smell.

Dear Sir / Madam.

Having seen your recent advertisement for the vacant post-doctoral position in molecular modelling funded by the Aropath Research Programme, I wish to apply for the position as I have all the relevant qualifications required / stipulated …. (etc)

Smell: the yellow buds on gorse bushes, just lovely.

Sound: the swishing / swaying noise of wind in the high pine trees (whilst wild camping on the pine needles below – which is another glorious smell, full of memories)

Ton.
You can do all this and more if you want to.
Once you banish high fat junk foods, high cream content food and get on simpler diet, you'll feel sick having full fat anything, inc' the likes of chocolate which is just plain revolting!

It's a question of getting on with it and biting the bullet & not making excuses why you need X or Y in the diet, or why you can't give up A or B; there are too many excuses out there (the French look good on a diet of cheese and bread, or pub on a Tuesday, curry night on a Friday, booze at w/ends, birthdays, holidays, after work with mates, after long rides, keeping the other 1/2 company – J'sus, the list almost endless) and that's one reason why so many fail in their feeble efforts to change.

Once you're passed the cold turkey phase you'll wonder quite what all the fuss was about and why others seem to need all that junk they think they need in their diet.

Sorry – I think you're missing the point.
Ther are people who belive that they can shed a lot in a week, but it's not fat! Fat is waht you want to get shot-of. It's water and muscle most likely.
My scales tell me my body composition, so I know what's going on (coming off).

I've never bought butter or marg' in my life. I don't like chocolate. Fried food can better be done in the oven (chips etc), cook from frech where possible, I have 2 meals a day + maybe a banana. There's nothing amiss here.

The idea that you have to radically adjust your diet will apply only to those who need a life-change but if you're looking to only lose a few pounds, then a mild adjustment is required. If you're serious, then you'd need to get serious, something most people can't face doing (see shocked answers above!) as it's beyond their scope or abilities. Ultimately, you'll get out of this what you choose to change – nothing you don't know already.

I've been losing 1 lb per month since last Jan 01st.
Then I tend to put on a little over the Sept – Dec period.

Now I no longer drink (01 No 2009) I have found I'm now down to losing 1.2lbs per month, with a target weight of 12:0:0 on Sept 01st. Today I was 12:05:05, down from 12:12 on 01 Jan.

Modest loss, modest aims. Long term (18 months) aims. It's satisfying when it falls away and that keeps me going. Don't eat junk, fried food, never eat bread, no marg', butter, chocolate, no booze, no cake et al, simple and very effective. No eating after 5pm. No take aways (1 a month maybe). Really, is there anything here you don't already know?

Similar story for the 1st Merida of 2010 this w/end.
Swapping from muds to RRalfs (maybe)!

shorter local rides:
2-3ltr of fluid, room for a pump, tube, multi- tool and a bungy / stuff pocket for a jacket. Wallet, and a cereal bar or 2.

Just thinking this through: pump attaches to the bike. Tube multi tool, CO2 cartridge, valve, split pins, 2x tyre levers, inner tube, and 1x bar + 1x gel all go in the small bag under the saddle; although really, how many rides under 2.5hrs do you actually requre feeding on?

In a spare and empty water bottle on the frame I have either a waterproof or leave it empty and then wear the waterproof.

This sees me all year 'round, inc' snowy winter 2-3hr rides.

I personally think you're over-kitted, set yourself free of all this baggage you seem to think is important on what your OP states are

shorter local rides

.

Race

or
Classic

I use this with a 2ltr bladder which for me the is the perfect compromise between how much water I might need and it carries my phone and keys and the CO2 catridge valve and a chain split link too.

The other stuff sits under my saddle in a small bag. It's the perfect combination as you don't carry too much sweaty weight high up on your back. I have a Mule, but never use it on 2-4hr rides. It only gets used on long 5+hrs rides.

If you take a leaf out of the front runners at the likes of the Montane Kielder 100 etc, you have bottles, a small under saddle pack and the rest is in your rear pockets in your cycling top and maybe a couple of items strapped onto the bike's frame.

Fox all the way.
No issues ever.

I've had issues with three Rockshox's now. All three were bought new by me.

Time to change tack me thinks.

Some good suggestions here & ones I'll look up in more detail.
Of the riding I've done thus far, I much prefer the trail centres TBH, hence the rather specific question, although I have enjoyed the Meridas (2 rides this w/end if my R knee allows me).

I'm riding the centres one by one as I get around to them, although I do seem to have ridden some more than others, losing my mtn bike virginity in Cannock a few years back, through several trips to CDB & Dalby, & latterly Afan.

You don't masturbate boars from my recollection of working in a pig farm one summer.
They have the most bizarre penises, they’re very long, thin but the most strange thing is that they resemble a large spring that’s part uncoiled.
You have to help the boar by serving him to the sow, physically putting him inside the sow as they don’t seem to be able to fill the length well enough to get a full erection.

Well, you did start on the subject…..!

i'll never forget a nght a uni when a housemates friend had come over for the weekend, they were arguinin the pub after a couple of beers and idscussing some job his mate had had.

Can I assume your degree was in maths? 😉

Wrong part of the forum – see classifieds.

Geometry plays a big part.
My Giant VT2 threw everything into my face, regardless of the weather.
The 29er is my pal and so treats me with more respect & keeps me reasonably splatter-free.
Both have / had Crud carchers.

Now I need to invent a rear mud guard that works with bigger wheels as the Crud Catcher doesn't!

FWIW, I’ve been reading about the Falkland’s Conflict and one of the reasons the Para’s, Royals et al did so well on the islands was, in one commentator’s opinion the British cold weather training was clearly superior to the Argies.

So don’t be too despondent, we, we wheeled few, are out there in all weathers, at all hours of the day & night, proving that the worst of the British weather can do pretty much what it damn well likes but it still won’t stop us hardened souls riding our bikes in it!

ps – I do believe the sun has got its hat on this week!

As an aside – now that the worst of the February Part 2 weather has now abated – does anyone wear full length waterproof trews?
I've been eyeing up those w/proof over-shorts that would seem to be a good idea but the full length w/proofs I own for trekking seems like a hiding to gas mark 6!

PS – Rode Pen's 2x loops in 3hrs with lots of photo / video stops in October & thought it was magnificent.

There is another issue, not just the occational chaffing when very wet, and that is fungal infections.
Not something I get typically, but during most of the 12 and 24hr vents last year I really suffered and it's not something that goes away within a day or two.

YOu can't use soap so the Assos cream is a very effective barrier agianst not just chaffing but also fungal infestations – as I found out to my relief on the Kielder 100!

Most of us never spend 12hrs solid in the saddle, so when you do, or anything from 6hrs+, it's paramount you eliminate just one more factor that could, potentially, ruin your whole weekend's riding. Why would you not, ph values or not – get real, some people have different sized back sides, padding and saddles, it's never going to be a one-size-fits-all scenario so anything that can help usually does!

Slap it on all over 'Arry!

The eyes are too sensitive & too easily damaged not to add simple protection IMHO plus we have only one layer of protection (my dogs, by way of a contrast, have two), plus eyelashes and closed eyes were never meant for cycling activities.

Is there a sound reason why some people choose not to wear some sort of eye protection?

It's simple.
Once you have the listings as you want them you ignore the twits who are goading you.

Make sure you are specific about the collections etc if you're adamant you won't post (for example) or that's it's an auction and you want it to run the full 7 days.

On-line, thet're Trolls. Just ignore & all will be well on your eBay travels!

Have your butler ride the wet sections.

Stu.
YOu bought plastic Daffs' with you on your outing with that shopping trolley.
Tesco or Waitrose?

Assos.
Thread closed.

Stills photographer for TV, film and advert production companies for a while.
Most famous: 'Liz Taylor, a 3/4 shot, just prior to a formal dinner at the Mansion House. Millions of $$ worth of diamonds (Forbes Estate) around her neck and pink fluffy slippers 'round her toes. A little strange.

Afterwards all the Forbes Staff could talk about were the dress & the diamonds. All the security had clocked were her still impressive large chest!

Conclusion: Spring has not sprung & it's February Part 2.

Just how long are people taking 'round the 2x loops?

75 mins to the High Atlas trekking base at Imlil – unless you go by donkey!

I love Marrakesh, it's a cool, chilled place so how you can feel 3 days to be too much escapes me; but each to his / her own.

We’re coming to the tail end of February part 2, and of late I’ve been riding with at least one rider who is excellent in the mud (his wife also confirmed this to me!) so it’s been good to watch and follow more capable riders through the mire, making me in turn less cautious.
It’s the hoof prints that throw you off-line hereabouts not the mud per-se.

Conversely, one pal finally came out with us two weeks ago and was all over the place in the mud, even being thrown off on a descent. He was angry with his tyres and frustrated with his poor fitness: the moral being that if he’d ridden in the winter months he’d have been fine with his tyres, the mud and his fitness. He bailed out after an hour as he was out of his depth.

In February part 1, I took to the roads and kept a good fitness level that way. Pedalling for 3-4hrs without a break is not something we do off road, so it was a good set of training rides and one I’ll be continuing to do & can recommend too.

I think full length Lycra bibs are the way to go. Unlike the photograph above – 90% of my body was made in the North East but my ankles seem to have been made in Surrey! 😉