Look, it’s really simple; it’s not racist if the intent isn’t so. It may be perceived as such by your audience. I could easily ask “fancy a chinky” or “fancy a ruby” in my mates company without any racism implied or perceived. They’re not the same but, because the slang isn’t racially tinged (in that company) it’s the same question In terms of its meaning.
There are things you wouldn’t say at work, jokes you wouldn’t tell because, regardless of the intent, it “may cause offence”. Same thing here. The audience matters because it’s not necessarily the intent, it’s the perception.
No, I don’t have any friends of Chinese decent. I wouldnt call them a chink/chinky if I did. Unless I checked first if it’d be offensive to them. Even so, I’d probably just use their name…….