My wife and I wanted to start a family about 24 years ago,we had a boy who is much loved.When we decided to have another child my wife had several miscarriages,so we had a long discussion about fertility treatment vs adoption and decided to adopt.Our second child ,who we adopted at 23 months,died in an RTA just before he was 3,after a very intense and fulfilling year,,and about 2 years later we adopted a girl,just before her first birthday.She is much loved,and has a life history book,explaining why she was adopted,and why she came to us.She is now 15 and a proper little madam,and very much loved.She knows why she was adopted,and at some time may go in search of her birth mother,but has no doubts about who mum and dad are.I hope Tom and his partner have adopted,but would understand if they went for surrogacy, as long as they care for and cherish the child then they should be ok.The same sex relationship is irrelevant to the the child,and should be to the rest of us.