I was on a MTB holiday in Morzine with Endless Ride about 12 years ago. Ive never been much of a drinker, so doing lots of it at altitude on the first night was a very bad idea and I was rat-arsed early, so the two Kiwi lads who I’d gone out with carried me back to the chalet and dumped me in bed. I woke up the next morning in the wrong room, naked from the waist down. I assumed the lads had had a joke and dropped me there so I went back to my room, dressed and went downstairs.
Halfway through breakfast Sian (I think it was Sian) comes in to announce there was shit all over the balcony. And a pair of underpants, also covered in shit. Everyone at the table was looking at me and in a blinding flash, everything came flooding back.
I’d woken up about 2am needing a squat but being drunk and disoriented Id mistaken the toilet door for the room door and headed out into the hallway. Lost and in an increasing panic, Id opened most of the other guests’ rooms and been turned away, till I found my way onto the balcony, dropped my dacks and curled one out. A big one. I wiped my bum with my undies, went back into the hallway and managed to find the only empty room in the chalet, where I passed out once again.
Once the laughter died down, I went and cleaned up the balcony and then, with the deepest and most profound shame, offered to pack my bags. Thankfully Sian and Gareth were very understanding and unreservedly accepted my apology. Ive never forgiven myself though.