mikewsmith » If you value life you value it all

Apart from wasps, mossies and horseflies, obviously.

But seriously, that’s an admirable value to carry, especially if you can still hold it when the shit turns up on your own doorstep.

Fire.

Or perhaps get a vat of hot wax and dip in your bonce.

I’m lucky – my hair is going grey and it was ginger blonde before that anyway so was never really visible with a Wahl combless cut.

I know you started the thread with tongue firmly in cheek but you have sixteen weeks and a motivational reason to succeed. If you (secretly) want to get a bit more buff for the beach then do what Molgrips is doing – 5×5. If that’s too much go 3×5 but do it three times a week for twelve weeks and spend the final four weeks doing some cardio or serious (read dangerous) calorie deficit to show off those hard earned muscles.

I’m not being entirely serious about the extreme calorie cut but fat will fall off if you reduce to something like 1200 – 1000kcal a day – dangerous because your body starts to chow down on what’s available so if you have little body fat it’ll start on something else, as I understand it. Last year I experimented with weightlifting and calorie deficit to see how much I could lift and how little I could get away with eating. I had to stop lifting around 800kcal as it got a bit ridiculous.

Doing it all again after the hernia surgery and I’m eating lots of clean food – around 2800 – 3000kcal daily – and lifting a lot more weight a lot earlier than last time and losing fat whilst doing so. Not hurting anywhere near as much so the calorie surplus is taking care of the repair process.

Follow 5×5 (or similar) to the letter and you’ll see some results that’ll inspire you. You probably won’t get lighter – the complete opposite unless you’re obese – but you’ll gain some very usable strength and a decent-ish body to boot.

[Arnie] Do it. Do it now![/Arnie]

The Slab™

Man, if you play this right there could be a film, a game… even action figures n’ shit.

If the Elephant Man was kinda like the Hulk in that a normal human changed into him, then Matt Smith would be the phase between human and John Merrick. Or perhaps Manimal somehow stuck between creature morphing.

Either way he was too distorted to be a regular face on tv.

full marks for the lawn

Sorry but there’s just no **** way!

‘s gotta be a pub lawn what with that table n all.

🙂

Indeed

For my sins, I had the presence of mind to actually question a guy who had been sat up my arse at speed for some time. I pulled over as soon as possible when the duel carriageway started but he sped by, pulled in and slammed on his brakes, gesturing me to pull over to the hard shoulder. I followed him to a standstill, propped open my door and remained seated. As he stormed over, with as much cool as I could muster given he looked like he wanted to kick me in the throat, I slowly removed my sunnies and said

“You can’t be in that much of a rush if you’ve pulled over for a kicking…”

by which I meant he was doing the kicking. I reckon, from the look on his face and the total lack of words and his stomp back to his car, he thought it was the other way round.

I also had a London motorbike courier try to grab me through a slit in my open window. I got quite wound up by that and was up for expressing that to him in a way he’d obviously understand. When we pulled over on Tavistock Street I leapt out ready to get stuck in but he refused to remove his helmet. Sizing up the little hole I decided I’d probably hurt my hand if I tried to get through the gap so I grabbed the mouth guard and furiously shook it until he fell over.

I laughed all the way back to the flyover…

I never understand comments like this. It’s a great car, who cares at all who else drives one?

Me, too. Weird playground type of comment, though I suspect a bit TiC if all be told.

As for the Mini S – coking is a bit of a problem and the valves will probably need a go over with a walnut blast and/or Terraclean around every 30,000. It’s not a problem unique to Mini, either; a lot of DI engines suffer the same coking and subsequent performance loss not to mention the potential damage that a bad coking case can cause. For my money I’d stick with a naturally aspirated. Sure, they’re not as much fun in a straight line but they’re still good fun to throw around the bends. NA is a doddle to work on, too.

The 2 year service thing makes my balls shrivel, tbh. I’d take that with a pinch of salt and get someone to give it once over at least once a year if you can’t do it yourself.

Google the Prince engine for all you need to know about the guts. It’s shared with quite few vehicles but none handle quite as well as the Mini’s.

Edit : You can get around some of the coking by fitting an oil catch can. You might get lucky and find an S with one already installed. Worth taking time to check under the bonnet when viewing.

Junkyard » its not simply they take drugs ergot they MUST

Trippy, dude.

pointing how you came across

It actually reads as if you’re telling me how it is, to be honest.

But **** it. It’s obviously an attempted laugh gone wrong so let’s just leave it there, eh.

find yourself totally embarrasssed

‘s weird. I really don’t feel embarrassment for anything I’ve written here today or yesterday or ever TBH. I have humility and can accept when I’m wrong. I’m just attempting to fit in by having laugh as most seem to do on this forum. Obviously DezB was correct when he claimed “as with all bants, it’s who’s doing it.” or something. I don’t understand that mentality.

As for your writing style and the dyslexia – my apologies. I wouldn’t have ribbed you if I’d have known. Sorry.

Edit : And to be fair what you’ve written is pretty offensive stuff not to mention pretty wide of the mark and confirms the rather nasty side you display on this forum on quite a regular basis, particularly to those with whom you don’t have “bants”.

Well given I scored 100% when I had to write about the mechancis of breathing some years ago scoring a high disctinction I’m not sure you’re right there.

Blimey over 20 years ago come to think of it.

Hmmm. In all the years I’ve perused this forum I’ve yet to see any evidence of your penmanship keyboardmanship, so perhaps the passage of time has taken its toll. I suppose I’ll just have to take your word for it.

I was right about the pissy bit, though, wasn’t I…

EDIT : 😛

J’know what – I thought the 17 pages thing was a bit of a gamble but I’m thinking they’re gonna get the win.

Drac » Cheers Scapegoat saved me a lot of typing.

I’m sorry but there’s no way you could’ve written anything as eloquent as Scapegoat and most definitely not without being pissy.

🙂

Good show!

🙂

English beef and mushrooms, with beansprouts. number 13 at our local east Asian takeaway in the 70’s.

🙂

I bet you’re hungry now, aintcha…?

See how easy this is?

Is that really necessary…?

does anyone actually have the etymology of ‘Chinky’ ? where does the word actually come from?

I know it’s not what you’re asking whatsoever but when I was a kid in the 70s and my dad asked if we wanted a chinky the images of prawn balls would fill my head. Still does to a degree so this thread is making me quite peckish.

So, chinky = prawn balls. In my distorted little mind.

EDIT : And noodles…!

EDIT 2 : A quick Google and the font of all truth claims:

A number of dictionaries have provided different suggestions as to the origin of chink. Some of these suggestions are that it originated from the Chinese courtesy ching-ching, or that it evolved from the word China, or that it was an alteration of Qing (Ch’ing), as in the Qing Dynasty.

Another possible etymology is that chink evolved from the Indo-Iranian word for China, that word now having similar pronunciations in various Indo-European languages, such as Persian.

Yeah but why would you bother. Maybe not stalking but a bit sad.

Sorry if Teasel finds that condescending or preachy.

Heh

I didn’t have this thread in mind when I wrote that. But if the cap fits…

🙂

Racism for me requires intent.

I disagree. That implies there’s no such thing as casual racism. [/quote]

Hence my post on the first page of this thread. In my twenties I used to think along similar lines but have come to realise it will still cause offence regardless of my intent. It takes very little effort to adjust or understand why you’re doing so and sometimes it takes someone to inform you of your error. I was lucky enough not to have some preachy, condescending type help me understand where I was going wrong.

Shit the bed, I’m gonna shoot myself if anyone else cracks that joke…!

🙂

Yeah, I’m not supporting the OP. He’s wrong to mash up the grass.

Indeed, it’s what I posted on the other page. They’re gone now, though.

EDIT : And why don’t we post up pics in which personal details can be determined, kids…? That’s right – the Robdobs of this world are out there.

I always know I’ve got the upper hand

Heh

You must be clever enough to be able to resist swearing.

Nowt wrong with calling a **** a ****. Surely you’re clever enough to be self aware, yes…

Don’t fret, Ton, he swooned at me not so long ago. I think he’s genuinely enamoured by some of us.

Just feel the love…

it only takes 20 seconds to check MOT history…

The very fact that you did makes you a sad ****.*

And enough with the winking; it’s like you have a boulder in your eye or something…

*If indeed you did. It’s really not clear. But you’re still a ****.

😉

It’s happened quite a bit around my area over the last few years, closing off some woodland completely. New owners, as I understand it.

I think Drac has been through the mill with that one. AFAIR it was deemed racist. In a casual fashion, of course…

A favourite rant button of mine ….

Mine, too, the last time I was a regular commuter. That was until a giant of a guy got out and wanted to throw me in the ditch to the side of the road.

A really big ****, though not as tough as he looked.

I wonder how many drivers here will regularly pull over to let a following car get past?

I will if they’re in an obvious hurry i.e. tailgating. Probably rather dangerously I’ve also taken to opening the window, sticking out my arm and waving them to overtake but without decelerating, especially if doing 30 in a 30. It’s stunning the amount of drivers that will go to do so even though traffic is streaming the other way.

Thanks. I stand corrected.

And it’s always nice to have a technical rather than pissy response.

In fact, if I was in your shoes right now I’d either delete the pics or replace with the reg number blacked out before some shitbag comes round and fills your exhaust pipe with expanding foam or something.

As for the stalker checking MOT stats how sad.

I can’t bring myself to read most of the posts on this thread because they’re probably shit but agree that whoever that was is a completely sad ****.

Probably just as well you would struggle to breath without it.

CO2 is deemed an asphyxiant gas, isn’t it. So not really…

No probs, man. Like I wrote, it’s another forum user’s words I used. I was an advocate of the clingfilm method until I tried the frying pan idea.

What’s the thinking here?

Lots of eggs in one sitting.

*belches*

I’ll second (or third) that complete rest from any physical activity you’re into is generally underestimated.

Bollocks smack em

Is that him smacking them in the balls or getting out his own a slapping them about the place with the now exposed goolies…?