Go with the Barrhill road route to start, it’s normally fairly quiet. The section North of Girvan is best either done via the coast road past Culzean or by heading inland towards the Nick Of The Balloch.

Once your past Kilwinning you can do the Dalry Moor road with a screaming descent to Fence Bay at Fairlie. There is a bike route from there to Largs, though i’m unsure if it is continuous through Fairlie.

The Brisbane Glen out of Largs is much better than the coast road to Skelmorlie/Weymss Bay. You can however use the minor road that parallels the Largs to Skelmorlie Main road but really why bother when Brisbane Glen is much nicer.

Oh and Hi GlasgowDan, long time no fish.

I did once incinerate Benefit Order books with a face value of £6,000,000.00.

Wonder if the Post Office would have cashed them all at once ?

I have a peugeot and it excels at having weird self rectifying electrical faults.

Once was behind a golf in torrential rain at night on the M8 from Edinburgh. The only time you could vaguely see his car was when he braked. Self smoked rear light clusters are such a great idea. Not !

Think it’s some new Mercs that have the round light cluster with the indicator inside the brake lights. Damn fool idea.

Could be corrosion between the two halves of the calliper which is causing the fit problem.

Or the o-ring seal between them is not seated correctly. If it is deformed you will need a new one.

Did your pal have the calliper apart as the bolts are normally in tight and from memory threadlocked.

Bin the pads, they will be contaminated without a doubt.

TIME Atac Alium for me. Bombproof, easy clip in and very easy to release in a hurry. Cheap too.

Last for donkeys with no need for re-greasing and will take lots of bashing off rocks.

Much better at not clogging than Shimanos even in wet snow, though it will clog, but what won’t apart from maybe Crank’s.

For parking you can go down the side of the Fire station (Milton St) and take the first left. The old STV garages are there and it’s about £5 a day.

Don’t take the underground from Cowcaddens to the city centre, just walk down Port Dundas Rd/West Nile st. Cowcaddens underground is in the wrong direction. I work in the same building as the Passport office so know of what i speak !

If you like architecture just go straight down West Nile St till it narrows and the Lighthouse Design Centre is on the Left. You get a great view from the tower there.

Everybody be warned. There will be an earthquake somewhere someday. IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE ALL DUE PRECAUTIONS !!

Right, that’s me ok to jet off to Lake Garda.

Specalized All Condition Armadillo’s for me. Bullet proof and last about 2000 miles on cruddy roads.

No grip problems once the centre flash is worn off (only a problem up hill in the wet anyway).

They have water clearing sipes but really a 23/25c tire is so narrow it cuts through any standing water.

Weigh a bit more than the likes of the Conti GP4’s but in 6000 miles i have had no punctures at all.

One of the him’s is a property developer. Can you think of a better advert for a property for sale in the near future ?

Let’s build a house right next to a river. I know, let’s also have some of it below the water table.

Keeping a bucket handy may be a good idea !

Smeeee-heeeee !

Teef that must be a dog whistle you just blew, cos we can’t hear it !

Yip, we have a couple of these in our bunch. Seems to be a built in situational un-awareness.
One admits he is fairly new to the game and is happy to have errors pointed out, though he still makes unexpected swerves and has a habit of slowing drastically half way up a hill as if he just gives up.
The other is a stockbroker and he is RIGHT ! No one likes to ride alongside him as he is the single most important person there and we all must take account of that.
I of course is perfekt.

All this talk of Shotguns is just pure fantasy.

A well set Claymore at the top of the stairs is much better.

Though you do need to decorate a bit afterwards !

Pitlochry.

And no, not done it. Did the road version of it years ago before the bike path was built. The road over the Drummochter pass (A9) is not recommended.

Many moons ago i did a bike tour including a stop at Loch Lomond Hostel. Balmy, still, perfect summers evening.
Talking to another lad in the hostel, we decide to get a pint in at Duck bay. Both of us need a piss first so head from the dorm through an open door to the loo.
Utterly baltic wind comes from behind us as we step through the doorway, hair standing up on end, we both yelp and run like big girls blouses.
Much ” what the **** was that ?, Jebus Christus” etc.
Can’t provide any reasonable explanation for it. No wind, roasting hot outside and no air-con in the building.
There was a dorm there that was closed up as people always fell out of the top bunks.

The wife asks one day “have you got any sheets of MDF in the garage ?”
“Yes” says I, “12 mill and 18 mill”.
“How thick is the 18 mill ?” says she.
“Nearly as thick as you” says i, heading rapidly for the door !

Staying in a caravan overlooking St Andrews. Get up in the morning and throw the curtains wide to be greeted by a glorious day. I utter the immortal words “Ah, it’s all shite and briney !” Muppet.

And ASDA Antibacterial Surface Cleaner. One whiff of that and its Puffer time !

Pal has some automatic Glade air freshener dispenser thing. I swear to god it’s set on “Squirt as he passes”.

Climbing up Glentress when it’s 0c does the trick too.

Lifer, the Swordfish is entirely appropriate for WW2.

Used to do work on the one at Strathallan which is now with Fleet Air Arm.

Being a teenager daft on planes and being allowed to get hands on with the likes of Lanc, Mossie, Hurricane, Spitfire, Lysander, Avenger, Bollingbrooke, Shackleton, Battle, Hudson, Anson, Harvard and lots more was the best unpaid job ever.

Such a sad day when the collection was split.

50/36 Compact with a 27 cassette works fine for humphing 15 stone of me up the hills. Though a triple would come in handy.

One thing to remember as you hurtle down a steep descent towards a 90 right, is that no matter how well you set up the brakes on the road bike, it will not slow down as well as 8″ discs with M4 calipers.

On the flip side, years of mtb’ing help greatly as you scrabble round the grass verge !

Duffus will be fun to go down but the amount of climbing will be fierce.

Could make a Mtb route using the rallycross track.

The water is all in Glasgow !

Wettest summer in 20 something years.

Must be global warming.

Dryest summer in living memory in Skye and the Western Isles.

Must be global warming.

Assuming global is about 150 miles.

Speckled Jim ?

By ridden do we mean motorbike or bike ?

By car, Reading to Glasgow (tedious but not really that far).

Cycled, 165 miles, utterly knackered and could barely walk the next day.

Are the backing plates on the new pads the same thickness as the originals ?
My Hayes Nines are very fussy about which pads i try to fit in them, with similar results as yourself.

Oww it get there ? It fly, Oink oink !

Worked with a Tracy E Acup.

Also an Ailsa Craig (small island off the Ayrshire coast).

Once introduced to an Architect called Mr Croch who insisted we call him Dickie !

Another colleague called Mrs Kerr had a son Joseph. But of course, shortened to Joe.

And finally, a customer wearing a celtic FC top. Ask him for his name, and inevitably it’s….Walter Smith.

Flt Eng George williamson, 50 Sqn, Lancasters.

Also flew in Stirlings. Only one of 7 to get out of their Lanc on the way back from Bremen.

Was with the French Resistance for nearly a year till he got back to Blighty.

George was a family friend who introduced me to classic aircraft and whom i spent many a happy hour with, scraping paint off KB976, Mk X Lancaster, at Strathallan (now in bits at Fantasy of Flight, Polk City FL).

Passed away a decade ago.

One point to note is that makes of tyres differ in actual width.

I have a 2:35 Nevegal on the front which is fractionally wider than the 2:5 High Roller on the back.

Compound is more of an issue than width. The Nevegal grips way better than the high roller. Better to have the back end break away first any day.

Bin it !

Though if you drive enthusiastically you may wish to consider an alloy sumpguard.

The original guard is there for aerodynamic reasons and to keep spray from the engine bay. Also to cut down noise. You are unlikely to notice any change with it removed.

Unless you live in Wales just now !

Three pages of this and no one has mentioned a 6R4 or Stratos !

Saw a display at Leuchars once, a P51 doing circuits with runs down the main runway from a shallow dive. Goosebumps.

Had a Vulcan go over me as a kid, doing nap of the earth flying. Somewhat impressive in lots of ways.

I was similarly unimpressed on the Etape Caledonia. Lovely countryside with gel wrappers all over the shop.

It does save so much weight of course. So totally justifiable really.

How many years for one of those to break down ?

Can’t believe i missed the Incomparably magnificent Miss Grace Jones.

Love her to bits even if she does scare the bejesus out of me too !

Time to check the I player.

The cafe ( will not use the term restaurant) half way up the hill in Ednburgh Zoo is shockingly poor. And Deep Sea World at North Queensferry is overpriced and tasteless too.

But if your doing the Three Ferries on the road bike, make sure to go to the Ettrick Bay Cafe on the isle of Bute. Apart from the superb view of Arran, they do huge portions of tasty food at very resonable prices.

Actually, the portions could be described as too big when your about to get back on the bike.The curly fries alone would feed two.

The old dear has a transport order her grandfather kept a hold of from WW1.

He used to drive an officer called Edward about. They even once got thrown from the car by a shell exploding nearby.

The Officer later used to be seen in the company of one Mrs Wallis Simpson !

The small restaurant in the (Hilton) Coylumbridge Hotel is pretty good. It’s called Terracotas.

Much nicer than the main restaurant.

The chicken and steak fahitas are excellent.

You can ride maybe 40% on the way up. But about 90% on the way down.

It does feel like a bloody long shove up but the descent is just epic.

The views are not half bad either.

Some choke points are well narrow on the descent seeing as the path was never built with bikes in mind. And leg armour is a must for mere mortals.

I must get up it again this year, best descent i have ever done.

Such a handsome chap Junkyard. Bit of a SMEEEEE-HEEEEE though !

Please, for the love of Cloister, let Dwane Dibbley be in it again !

“One triple thick condom. You never know ?”

Got an MOT in a week. Fairly certain it will fail.

So that’s a relief. Saves me worrying about driving it !