Was out of touch with mine for 25 years, aged 25-50, a petty argument, then moving away, then neither of us really trying.
Back in touch now. I can see the connection, and there is some of him in my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better dad, but since I no longer live with my kids full time, that isn’t that easy. I know that whatever happens it is always on me to break the silence and be the bigger man.
My father really just isn’t important to me, interesting but not important. He wasn’t the person I needed as a child,but he wasn’t terrible. But some fathers are terrible. And those with happy families often just don’t get it, in the same way as those who are still with their first spouse have a real difficulty empathising with people who have taken the decision not to be.
It’s a cliche, but sometimes you have a biological family and a logical family, and they ain’t the same. 🙁