You can start with the person you always want to be with, a great friend, partner and mother, and then things change.
You or she or both grow, change, maybe you become different in how much you want to go out, to have sex, or do other stuff, and bringing up the kids is good but gets between you, and then you become two friends in the same house, with fewer shared interests, but a common history that holds you together. Then you get glimpses of what it could, should have been.
I did 26 years married, perhaps 20 good ones. Decree Absolute came through last week.
But just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean if failed. Every relationship you are in will end until you are in one where one of you dies.
I’m now with someone I hope to do another 25 years with. We shall see. I really hope so.
But it’s easy to congratulate oneself on how things are going, to whistle in the dark against bad stuff happening. To assume it’s skill and choices rather than blind luck, or lack of alternatives that keeps you together. One thing one really can learn from the threads here is how many people’s relationships go titsup unexpectedly.. I think there is some hubris on display here. But good luck everyone:)