I've seen you ride so find it difficult to understand how you'd hold people back. Your Orange might not be the best 'all day epic bike' out there but when there's across and down to ride I can't see why you would have much trouble. 😉
Remember there's lots of stuff within mountain biking that isn't as obvious / mainstream as the usual trail centres that we get fed … sometimes a change is as good as a rest. Having a goal works for some people, an event, race, etc – something to aim for and work towards might help with motivation.
Most importantly, I think you're underestimating yourself … you're much more capable than you think.
Stuart