I hope you manage to get through this, we are expecting our first in June ( after a couple of horrific miscarriages) and I fear my Mrs will be a bit like this due to the last couple of years. I can offer little advice bar try to (like all arguments) reach some level of compromise that satisfies her and keeps you sane.
we had 2 friends who unfortunately both went like this with having kids, she was a Masters Qualified HR professional and he was a PhD in Science who worked for a pharma company for petes sake, both clever, rational people
They now are only homeschooling, home birthed (1 hour from a hospital) don’t use SOAP!!, only drink purified water out of glass bottles or mainly drink from springs, ant vac, breastfeeding when the kid is 4, don’t own a TV, still sleep with the kid, forage for food etc. Its a bizarre thing to see and they have become really separate from our group of friends but they (seem) happy…
(an he still works for said pharma co..)