Sounds legit. Send her your bank details, skip the small talk.

And the award for not reading the op goes to…

st colin – Member
Superstar EVO’s, EN321’s, tubes, Minion/HR

Where’s my prize? :lol: Sorry, been a long day so far!

Good info folks.

The problem is that my shifting gets effect with the muck/water ingress at the mount points on the downtube, more so now in the autumn/winter months. I’ve tried Mudlovers before but thought they were poor.

File sounds like a safer bet.

The routing is awkward on the Meta anyway. It is only to cover a short section underneath the downtube. Here is a link a photo of the Meta, you can see the cable route through the rear swingarm…

http://www.pinkbike.com/photo/8493518/

Superstar EVO’s, EN321’s, tubes, Minion/HR.

Well what a day yesterday. My mood has come up since what happened.

I was due to travel to Austria/Hungary with work yesterday, traveling to Dublin for my flight from Belfast. Arrive at the desk at Dublin airport and my passport is out of date. I hadn’t been looking forward to the trip for several reasons, however this was just too much. Returning to work later that day with my tail between my legs, I received a stern talking too and a verbal warning for my silly mistake. With already having a very poor relationship with this boss, things were very difficult yesterday.

Today isn’t so bad. I’m trying not to think about the moment the lady at the check in desk pointed out the expiry date of June 2013. It has reinforced my feelings of being a failure, having meticulously prepared for the trip in every other way.

I come and go on the forum really. Would have gone a couple of months without having a read or posting. The threads move fast. Recently I have been on more one thread in particular has been a personal help.

Just moved from 700/60 to 750/60. Slightly lower rise but changed two spacers on the steerer stack.

Been told my QR forks will now feel more flexy than normal…

Back into work today after another CBT session. My therapist thinks that may mood may be too low at the minute for CBT. I have some material I was given at the end of my last session, so I am going to continue with that for now.

I felt very emotional today, almost to the point of tears – I’m ashamed to admit.

Thanks JAG. I’ll be keeping the shifters and changing the rear mech, cassette, chain, and front chainrings if needed.

My first homework for the CBT was to write down my feelings for the first week. Reading it back is exactly that, it doesn’t seem like me at all. Well, it doesn’t represent who I want to be.

Not really to be honest. I would say when I feel good, it is normal for most people. I just mean that today I feel lower than yesterday but for no apparent reason.

Another big dip today for no reason. Last night I felt good, spent some time working on the bikes, tidied up the utility, sorting tools etc. Was quite relaxed. Then this morning, this.

How is everyone else today?

Is it in yet?

I’ve been using an Enduro Windchill soft shell jacket. Works well in most conditions with just a base layer under it. Only in really heavy downpours does the rain get through and usually by then I’m covered in sweat anyway!

I keep a lightweight packable rain jacket in my bag but rarely use it.

Yea. It’s almost like you are unable to sustain happiness and cope rationally with everyday situations, many of which are trivial.

Yea, it is positive in a sense. My dad is old school and he doesn’t talk about anything like that. Still, we have football in common and my brother (and his son) and I are planning to take him the the Emirates stadium in January. Perhaps there will be opportunity to get to build our relationship, who knows. Both my parents admit to knowing very little about depression and dont understand what I’m going through.

Well, it has been an eventful few days. After spending 3 nights with my parents I cam home on Friday evening. We thrashed out all the issues and have decided upon a plan of action. Our lease on the rented house is up at the end of November and we have decided to end that and move back with our parents. We are staying together. This will allow us to save and give us space. I can get the space to work on the CBT and get myself better. So, positive? Well, almost. I still think in the back of her mind this is the beginning of the end but she is sure that it isn’t. Also, my dad isn’t too happy about me moving back home. We don’t get on at the best of times, so I hope things will go smoothly. It’s only going to be 6-8 months, so not such a long time.

Does it all sound like a sensible plan?

I have no idea what a bond is, what yeild is, and all the other muck spouted out in these reports. All I know is who my debt is owed to, and unfortunately they know where I live :lol:

Only one thing I can think of. When I was 20-ish, I was part of a relay team for the Belfast marathon 1 week before the event as someone dropped out. I was to run the 2nd stint of 7 miles. Felt good at the end of that so ran to the end. I guess I was proud I ran 21 miles with no training apart from playing football 2/3 times a week at that point.

Thanks Tom, I’d appreciate that.

Still staying at my parents. Have had a few texts back and forth from my partner and to be honest it isn’t sounding hopeful. I have told her thoughts, much more rational than over the last few days, I am trying to be very positive about it and I think it can be fixed, but it seems like it just too much for her. She has told me she doesn’t know me anymore and that it feels to her that the relationship is broken.

The depression voice is telling me that it could be the final nail in the coffin for me.

Thanks. When I’m at my worst I feel like I deserve it and that I should be low and feeling worthless and hopeless.

Where to start…

– Racking up £25k of debt with 4 1/2 years left to pay it off.
– Not being able to handle and cope with my depression over the last 6 years
– Taking a break from riding bikes between 13 and 26
– Failing college 3 times in a row. Getting an interview for a different engineering job is pretty much out of the window
– I’m sure there are many others

I’ll not blame her at all. This is my doing, so I can’t do that.

That was pretty much my point. I want to be on the road to recovery and in control of my life before I commit to something like that. I just get the feeling that the time is up for her now.

She is broken at the minute and really doesn’t know what to do and frankly it’s all my fault. When I’ve been good I have talked positively about these things, but my mood has been low for a prolonged period of time now that I have just succumbed to my negative way of thinking.

Those fears are a mix of both. Mostly that I couldn’t cope with being a father and that I wouldn’t be a very good one at that. For the mortgage it’s a case of already having 30% of my wage taken up by 1 loan payment which is a considerable amount. We rent a place together, so not much free money to save, well for me anyway. My partner has savings of her own. Basically she is ready for the next big step, I’m not.

Well things have taken a bad turn, a u-turn almost. Last night I decided that it time to stay with my parents for a few days whilst I try and gather my thoughts on my relationship with my partner. It came about because I faced a couple of fears. She wants to buy a house, get married, and start a family with the next couple of years. Whilst I believe those things may happen to me with her, I cannot guarantee that I can any of those things in that time frame with my current state of mind. She can’t hang around any longer, and I don’t blame her. I explained how I felt and I believe this is the beginning of the end unless something exceptional happens very soon.

The hardest thing in the world is letting someone go because you can’t give them what they want. I know I’m a failure, and this is just nailing it to the wall.

Hi again Iolo. This CBT is coming from the mental health team. It has taken a long time to get here to be honest.

Hi BruceWee.

I agree to what you’re saying to a point. I don’t have much faith in my GP. I’m putting myself in the hands of the counsellor.

You mention a few things you have brushed over. The alcohol for example. Was it a problem?

I didn’t race this year, but hope to race in the Irish Enduro series next year, funds and fitness permitting. I do question whether I should be competing at all.

A lot of the time I don’t even get close to getting changed into my cycling gear…

The main reason is that I don’t think I’m fast enough, fit enough. I seem to believe that I need to be going as fast as possible, constantly improving, and getting fitter and stronger.

Last night I got out on my rigid MTB and thought I felt strong during the ride. I only managed 15.4mph average over 26 miles and only 950ft of climbing. This was on the road. So, I felt good during, but was disappointed in myself after.

Yea, that’s exactly how I am trying to picture it. Treat myself how I would treat others.

Thanks for the replies.

I know CBT is a long process. I’ll certainly be sticking at it. I’m very withdrawn at the moment, socially and in my relationship. For example, I planned in my head to go out on the bike on Sunday, the club I’m part of was having a run out on trials I’ve never ridden. Come 7am Sunday morning, woke up and feel low. Don’t go. Two things are really bouncing around in my head. I missed out on time on the bike, so time to get better and faster has been minimised. Secondly, the club will think I’m not interested in going out with them.

These are the kinds of things that trouble me far too much.

So, how is everyone doing?

I’ve had 3 sessions of CBT now. It’s early days, still no change in mood. Beginning to really lose hope now. My relationship is taking a battering too, and I don’t know what to do next.

It was a great weekend. Getting caught up in the madness at the start and a puncture on DH2, I only managed 138th. Managed 62nd on Saturday. Here is my recent edit, chest mount….

“always wear a helmet”

Sounds like a pisstake to me. If he is the sensation he says he is, he should have no problem in identifying himself.

I’m a victim of secondary school history. Granted, being from Northern Ireland meant we usually had other things war related to talk about. I only learnt of the holocaust after leaving school. I have become interested in Russian history, including WW2, however I find it difficult to follow.

Hope you make a speedy and total recovery SFB. I remember when I first signed up to STW I enjoyed reading his ride threads and the photos.

I don’t take part in most threads because I simply don’t understand politics or the economy.