Sorry to hear that ranger.

Sounds like you are staying positive. At least I have lots of this to look forward to now….

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P1000127edit[/url] by colinsphotos26[/url], on Flickr

Got mine fitted today:

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P1000130edit[/url] by colinsphotos26[/url], on Flickr

Had a horrible night last night, been up from 4am worried sick. Just can’t get the scenario of her being with someone else out of my head, to the point were I couldn’t eat breakfast.

I did however make it out on the bike and installed my new Mudhugger.

Sorry for updating this randomly, but the replies help.

I do genuinely hope she is happy and has a great holiday. She loved skiing and spent over a year in Whistler and has skied around Europe. We had planned to do it together at some point.

It really is so hard trying to be positive.

Well things have taken a turn for the worse. I had to go to the doctors yesterday and I have been signed off work for a week. I keep getting horrible thoughts and feelings and I found out that she is heading off on a skiing holiday at the beginning of next month. It rips me up inside thinking that she could meet someone else at some point and be with another man. I have almost had a few panic attacks but managed to just about cope. The doctor has told me to make use of my time when I’m off so I am shortly heading out for a walk and taking the camera with me.

Hi Chris, not sure what to say other than I really hope you pull through.

Best of wishes buddy.

Jumping. Constant fear of getting it badly wrong and ending up in hospital. Even though I have hit some decent jumps and had no bother.

Women are like monkeys, they wont let go of one branch until they have hold of another

So, you’re suggesting someone else is involved?

Really struggling today. Don’t want to be in work, don’t really want to be anywhere at the minute. Had an okay time in London over the weekend, but just wasn’t really comfortable with being there.

I have only ever got to meet girls through online dating. My most recent (if you have seen my breakup thread) was on PoF. I instantly knew she was genuine, and she only answered to my second message. We chatted for 4 days and then decided to meet. Thought she was the one – still do – but it’s only a one way street at the minute. I also meet my first girlfriend who I was engaged too and was with for 6 1/2 years on Faceparty.

I don’t think I could ever try online dating again.

Ceepers, do you have a side on photo of the Meta with that on it?

I’d love to have something for my Meta for the coming months.

Thanks.

Haha, yes I’ve had to up the meds for a few days ;)

Yea, hoping to get a night ride in tomorrow night. I’m away to London this coming weekend to see Arsenal play too. Got a core class tonight and then football training on Thursday.

I have done all the basics already, Facebook, texts/emails etc. I am moving on, my feelings are constantly changing and I’m starting to get used to being on my own. I have had great support from many directions including here.

I didn’t offer to go to the funeral, however I did send a card and sent a text to her mum offering my condolences. I was close to her family. I was not close to any of her friends, so there is no worry about that end of it.

Thanks madjak.

Yea, I know that I need to be looking after myself, and to some degree I am. But all of this still means I am connected to her.

Anyway, someone in the thread mentioned that they liked to maybe just go and sit in a cafe, just to be with people. I did it last night and actually it was nice to just sit and be, and do some people watching. Granted it didn’t always help that it was happy looking couples, but it was certainly better than sitting in the house. Also gave me a chance to try out my new headphones I bought myself.

Certainly no quick fix for a real VTEC unit. And to be fair, unless you spend big bucks, you wont get a big midrange without charging of some kind.

Just enjoy caning the life out of it.

No, I wasn’t pining hopes on it at all. I was just saying that she came to me to talk and about a really rubbish situation and in doing so makes me think about her even more. It’s delaying the healing process.

I have my next CBT session on Thursday.

Well I was very close to her parents. I sent her mother a text offering my condolences and I’ll send a card of course.

It’s just so bloody hard.

Hi all,

So it’s pretty much been 2 weeks now. I’m still feeling very low although the initial shock has died off. Late on Friday night I got a message from her to say that her uncle had taken his own life. She just wanted to talk to me to help her. I really wish I could be there for her and her family and knowing that I’m not is making me feel worse.

I did manage to get out on my bike over the weekend, but even on the climbs I can’t get her out of my head.

Thanks for the post, all welcome.

Strangely I have lost 8lb’s since Christmas. And I’m 6 2″ now weighing 12st 1lb. I thinking worrying and stress is a great way to loose weight ;)

It must be hard working in the same place and seeing her then?

Well I got a text from her last night and we talked for a good bit. I told her how some things, as she did, and she will talk again to me tonight.

Turns out, semi-slicks with about 50psi in them did the job just fine*

*Apart from a few sketchy moments on a trail center run

Thanks again for the further replies.

My solo bike ride was good last night, did clear my head for 90 minutes. Then went for a short walk with a friend. It’s the alone time that is hardest.

Thinking about cutting ties on Facebook/Twitter too, as seeing posts (though neither of us are big posters/users) only makes me think of her.

Unfortunately If I’d had notice I would have made it tonight. I will definitely keep in touch and get down for a ride soon.

Makes sense wingnuts.

I have so much I can be getting on with, riding my bike, photography, seeing friends. Might even spark up the Xbox again, it’s not seen any action in a long time!

That didn’t sound like it should have….

Her parents had a boxer dog, I’ll miss those big slabbers!

Companionship is what I will miss the most, it sums up that bond you have with the person. Even though I want that, I wont/can’t go looking for another relationship.

I guess not!

Thanks again for the replies today, it has definitely helped.

Maybe I need to buy and Audi and go singlespeed?

Thanks.

I’m certainly not a moaner, far from it. I was never the center of attention either, usually somewhere in the middle. I like to think I have many of the good qualities people look for, honestly, kindness, loyalty, sense of humour, outgoing etc

And apparently I have nice eyes.

He does.

I can’t list 3 things I like about myself, easily. I’d need to think for a while. I hate how I look, and hearing that the relationship had gone platonic made me feel even worse about myself. Pretty much all the things I hate about myself are physical. The others are a sense of being a failure, having not made a career for myself and failed at college too many times. That’s it in a nutshell. As you can imagine, there’s so much more to it.

I’m 6 2″ and if anything, underweight for my height. I would like to be fitter as I am looking to race the Irish enduro series this year.

My issue is that the rigid has Conti fighters on it, semi slicks.

Thanks toppers.

I’m currently going through CBT. This was mainly to deal with my anxieties and worries/ruminating. I think that’s about to change.

Thanks for the offer sv. The Meta is currently out of action as I’m sorting new wheel bearings for it. Hoping to get out on the rigid instead.

I’m 31.

I’ve heard quite a few stories of couples breaking up and ending up stronger together. Can I deal with holding on to that hope? Not sure. But I will get on with my own life.

She has told me that she misses my company. If the relationship is platonic, then it’s missing the physical side of it. We had been spending good time together, went through Christmas as normal and for that I took her away for 2 days between then and new years. We even brought the bikes with us and we had a great time.

Small man or huge washing machine?

I’m pretty sure we both miss each other in different ways. I need to stop thinking that it is just a break from us that she wants and that it will work out in the end.