Scared of finding out I still need them

This is something that is very relatable for me. I’m genuinely scared that I don’t know who the real me is. When I feel content in the slightest, I think I’m being fake to everyone and myself.

I have my brave face on 80% of my life, I’d say.

Gets very tiresome.

Hey Grum, how’s it going?

Glad to hear the update this morning grum. Step in the right direction. If there is a grum ride organised, I’ll be there!

If it helps to post on here, please keep doing it. I started something very similar on a forum about 3 years ago and I still use it as a support thing. It helps. People who don’t even know me have reached out in amazing ways to help me. The same is happening here.

You sound like you’re at the bottom of the rut. You’ll get out of it. Trust me. Learn from it and next time in, you’ll be better placed to cope with it.

With you, grum.

Do as the others have suggested. Talk, and keep talking even if it makes no sense.

Where abouts do you live?

Raging I’m missing the champs at Graythwaite/Grizedale but I’m at home running a marathon that weekend. Not sure my current bike fitness would see me round 2 days there, though

Weather looks great, it was a cracking event last year. Trails were brilliant!

I went to Beechy Head and didn’t jump off.

Is that a sarcastic post?

I found their customer service non existent

Same here. I contacted them a few times before deciding to buy and got zero response. Thankfully the dealer has been better. Just discovered the cranks are loose. The Marley has FSA Modular self-extracting type. Pain in the arse, not only do I need the normal tools, but a f**king pin spanner too. Not sure if that even going to fix the problem as everything is tight and the spacers are correct etc.

My Marley arrived early. Big thanks to MTB Monster in Blackburn.

He she is…

IMG_0841edit by Colin[/url], on Flickr

Yes, Farmer Johns is a great shout. I will be signing up for the year again soon. They also host a 4 race series during the year and the atmosphere is great. Maccy forest DH runs are good also.

Just ordered a Marley 1.0. The finish seemed great and the spec is great for the money.

Not due until the end of February, so a long wait!

Trail runner here :)

Starting running properly (outside of football training) last year when I ran the Manchester marathon. In the summer this year I bought a pair of trail shoes and ran a few trail runs. Really enjoyed them and will be doing a few more next year. Much more interesting than road running. Fell running is another step up, might try a few of those too.

Still much prefer the mountain bike though, by a long way :D

I’ll put these two forward….

Jesus this forums is turd at embedding videos.

Generally my parents end up fighting, or things just go quiet at about 7pm. Christmas holds no good feelings for me to be honest. This yea may be different as my mums illness will change things. Unfortunately it could be the last one she remembers. She has Alzheimers.

Only had one nightmare journey with them. Made a complaint and got partly refunded. Driver took a much longer route than he could have basically. Didn’t seem to know the area at all. Just keep an eye on the fare multiplier at peak times.

Hi spawnofyorkshire.

Not sure how much I can help. Like many, I suffer from depression. I went through my ex (when I lived at home in Belfast) ending it with me and moving on with her life. Block her at the very least mate. This is YOUR LIFE, not hers. That will pass. Trust me, it does.

Talk. Keep talking. If you can’t talk on the dark days, talk when you feel like you can.

I don’t believe going to my GP and being on medication ever helped. That’s from 10 years of going and getting nothing.

Do what truly makes you happy. What is it that gives you that little fuzzy feeling? Everyone has something that does that to them.

If you need a chat, get in touch.

I’ve also been regreasing under the collar. Has made no difference to how it feels or operates.

Thanks for the replies.

I’m a maybe :) Would be nice to get out on the Monday night rides again.

Knew this would happen as soon as Wiggle took over. Another bike shop gone in Northern Ireland. Are there any left?

I’ll be up early to get an entry but wont be overly bothered if I don’t get in. Rode it last year. Weather was perfect, trails were good.

Quite fancy the Ard Moors too….

I raced this weekend. Practised 4 & 5 on Saturday, then 1,2,3 on Sunday morning. Was a tough weekend, but the stages were great with 4 being my favourite. Some serious roots and slime, but brilliantly fast at the bottom. People talked about stage 1 like it was seriously hard, but apart from having to be precise with your lines, it was my least favourite stage. Need to work on my fitness though, I was truly busted by the time I got to stage 5.

Now, just need to get the bike and all my gear cleaned….

Working fine for me.

I predict a big win for Gwin, 5+ seconds gap.

Yea, it’s really s#*t.

Never gets easier to handle, my ‘episodes’ seem to have more frequently now too.

Yea, it was Evans where I tried it. The medium was very very tight on the temples. The large looked huge but fitted my much better.

I’m not overly bothered if MIPS works or not, just putting the question out there. The none MIPS version is about £25 cheaper anyway.

My day lasted about 20 yards when on the first stage practice my rear shock blew up. From what I rode, it looked really good, I was gutted I couldn’t race.

Interesting. About £15k of debt for me. Don’t have a mortgage, always rented. I’m 33. £10k is an unsecured personal loan that is for stuff I know longer own (cars, bikes, other material stuff et al) and about £5k on credit cards. If I continue the payment plan I’ve been on for the last 5-6 years, it’ll all be gone in 2 years.

I’ve made some stupid decisions.

Oh, and I have zero savings, never have.

Hey lunge, sorry to read your post, but also happy to read your post as most importantly, you’re talking about it. I’m a long term sufferer of depression. I’ve been through relationships were my partner has felt exactly what you are. You’re doing a fantastic job. Remember you need to look after yourself too as selfish as that may seem at times.

I’m not going to comment on the medication as I have very different feelings and experiences on it.

You mentioned it may be work related? There is something that has gone wrong. That’s the thing you need to find and address. Ultimately all the medication in the world wont find and help fix it. Get her to open up if you can. Get her to write stuff down maybe. I’m slowly figuring out what I am the way I am. It involves some very tough thinking. The biggest fear for me is making changes and feeling different about what has happened before.

Best of luck.

Just ordered some new SLX from Merlin Cycles. The new M8000 looks nice, but I’m pretty sure they’re not twice the brake at almost twice the cost.

The very first online forum I got involved in was a car one and I owned a Fiesta ST at the time. I then owned a Focus ST, and I’ve used the same username since and for other forums too.

I’m not a saint.

Bollocks! Forgot about this and have only got entries for 5 and 7 this morning. Aw well, 5 out of the 7 isn’t bad.

I went for a Seat Leon ST FR (184 same engine as the Golf GTD). Got a decent spec for the same basic list of the GTD with a bigger boot. I prefer the interior style in the Leon over the Golf. Strong engine, though low 40’s mpg is as good as I get over the range of the tank. Rides well, great handling, and comfortable.

Provisionally in. Just getting over a serious dose of the flu.

This thread is brilliant.

Very good points Roper. I have fond that when I’m coming out of a bad spell I find the basic tasks strangely rewarding. I’m allowing myself to do something and feel good about it.

I’m currently in a bit of a dip at the moment. It’s at these points that I find it particularly difficult to talk. Why do I think I’m depressed? I’m not comfortable with myself, I don’t like myself. This most likely came from when I was younger through various (but normal) situations that affected my in a different way to the next person. I have to rebuild what I think of myself. It’s so true that having all the material stuff really doesn’t matter. I could have everything I’ve ever wanted and in the very short term I’d feel good. But that would soon change. A lifestyle change is the next step. How I do things. Maybe stopping doing some things and doing new things.

Sorry, bit of a ramble.

This guy needs to talk, in anyway. It might just come out in the end.

It will be an exciting season for sure. I think Bruni will be up there. I’m also keen to see how Atherton does on the Trek, he had a quiet season last year. Perhaps he has passed his best.

Some people really are taking this far too seriously. He smacked a co-worker, he’s a bit of a c**k. Top Gear in it’s current form started to lose it’s appeal about 4-5 series ago. Clarkson constantly putting on that stupid voice and Hammond and May looking a bit disinterested. Anyway, my opinion. I’ll happily watch the early re-runs when the show seemed a bit more honest that what it became. I’ll miss James May the most out of the 3 of them.

Looking at all of these myself for a possible hardtail purchase in the next month or two. Also considering the Ghost Asket…

Yes, 26″ here, Nukeproof Mega TR and a Ridgeback Storm with semi slicks for the road!