Just had a chat with a friend who has a fair bit of experience with this. I asked her to summarise in an email so here it is:
Secondary school can be extremely daunting – more so if the world around you feels like a noisy chaotic mess!! I would recommend starting with the small things. Making sure he has everything he needs (uniform/pe kit/school bag/stationary) and he knows his route to school well (walking/cycling/getting a lift/bus). I would recommend allowing him his own independence as soon as possible, so if he was driven to school before-now allow him the bus and/or walking.
I don’t know if he has been statemented but try not to have him labelled “Autistic” in the classroom – more like the quirky one!! Do you have/can you get a map of the interior of the school so he gets an idea of where everything is?? Confusion causes real anxiety. Also be aware he will probably lose his PE kit 3 or 4 times, stationary, trainers etc etc so put names in things. Tell him to find quiet places early on – Library, LRC (Learning Resource Centre) IT room – places he can go at break/lunch and feel relaxed.
I’m normally not an advocate of technology, but I would recommend a mobile phone – maybe one which plays MP3s so that if he is feeling stressed he can listen to some music on the way home from school etc etc. Also if he forgets anything important he can text mum (Books/non-school uniform day etc).
Make sure mum has a calender and highlights any non-school uniform days, trips etc as he might not remember them, and turning up to school in uniform on a non-uniform day is not good (I know!!)
Really it’s all the little details – in the end just be himself, instill in him not to take anything personally – that kids are scary and horrible and cruel but its not personal) and get him into some sort of activity club.
In the classroom he will take everything literally – he won’t understand sarcasm or non-linear thinking – if he doesn’t understand something this will make him very anxious and upset and frustrated. Come up with a system with him about how to deal with what he doesn’t know – both in and outside the classroom. Find someone who can explain things to him in a way he will understand (I find being clear and economical with words helps – also creating mnemonics or limerics or diagrams really help). Quite possibly he will excel at IT and anything computer-related – let him!
The Big Bang Theory may be a bit old for him yet – but the Sheldon character is useful to watch for him and those around him!!
As he grows up he will come into his own – just give him that knowledge and faith.
I would have emailed this to you but couldn’t anything in your profile. Hope you read it and find it helps 🙂