"Best is Harrison from Dirt forum and he won't thank me for sharing this…. Poor b@stard got very drunk, very quickly at a Sheffield party. Waited for 10 mins to get into the toilet, got fed up, kicked the door in and pissed all over the poor hippy lass s(h)itting on the toilet."

He sounds like a right ****.

"Can you be traced via IP by the clever mods then?"

Not if you use Nuip.net.

(other proxy servers are available.

Blood Meridian's problem is the long sentences that start and keep going and going and when you expect a comma or something to punctuate the unremmitting biblical prophecy spake truely by the Judge you find nothing but ands and ands and then you think it is all over and a new paragraph shall arise surely and lo no paragraph is born and again the ands and ands go on and on and then a scalp is hoist aloft and it is truely a scalp that which a man has bequeathed off from his skull that which did think of nothing but hot sun and thirst and explosive destruction created by man from matches on a barren lump of rock on this earth and man's demonic ingenuity before of which it was taken from that dome.

Tiziano Terzani- A fortune teller told me.

An account of a year avoiding air travel by a journalist who covered many epochal events of the 20th C. His translator in Cambodia was a focal character in the film "The killing fields". The book is beautifully written, very readable and strangely mind altering if you are open to that sort of thing.

"I dunno….there's a huge climb from the end of the Fitz lift to the start of Crank It Up in Whistler Bike Park."

Oh to be so jaded…

I agree with Ton on this point. He may be large, but I'm sure he'll admit to some trepidation at the thought of getting in a ring with little Barry McGuigan in his prime. It's worse when there are 5 or so overexcited teenagers who alone may not add up to much at all, but together could easily kill you without even having that intention. Or someone who could easily have killed or crippled you and wants you to feel bad about their selfishness/stupidity.

And although I'm no hardman with a realistic limit of a few swings and a sprint, I hate the type of scum that hangs around canals and backstreets safely in numbers and would have no compunction in hurting them were I capable of doing so. My life, my partner's, friends' and family's would all improve if they didn't feel free to do what they do. You make a judgement based on your self assessed ability, the threat and how much it would eat away at your self respect to let yourself be bullied. Hopefully you get it right.

So, on that note, I'm off down the canal for a scrap.

That canal (if it's the Angel-Hackney one I think it is) has had a fair bit of "urban action" of late, even making the billboard of the Gazette recently. I've also had something similar happen last year, and had to swing a bit to continue on my journey. I'd definitely avoid it after dark for a while at least.

Funny Angel is mentioned too. Coming back from Afan via Paddington last Easter the missus and I were riding our bikes through some back streets in the the afternoon to avoid the Essex road traffic and had a spot of bother with some aquisitional youths. The "Mad Irish Bastard" routine worked on that occasion, but it's all a bit depressing…

Is that a Manx wolf?

Whenever people use nice round figures like 10 or 20 I'm suspicious.

Crickey I think suggested the only thing I could really agree with. An underclass with no hope in hell has been created and perpetuated by deliberate lack of investment in practical educational pathways and deliberate policies to make work not pay and any educational pathway out of subsistence toil unaffordable for the majority, especially those out of their teens and realising their options. So why be surprised when the peasants turn nihilistic?

Since the people administering the country are all so well educated themselves,(and I hope the challengers to that postition have at least a 2:1 from a GOOD UNIVERSITY) I can only assume this was deliberate. I'm sure someone will be along to explain how it's "flexibility" or something to do with how the world works in Anglo Saxon Capitalist economys and not elsewhere.

Vile actions by the two boys for sure, but who hasn't done something incredibly stupid and potentially dangerous at that age? I did plenty. God knows what I may have thought normal if my father had provided access to vodka, weed, and adult pornography as well as regular lessons in how to beat the shit out of my mother and brothers at that age.

I'm no expert, but I think they need some serious **** psychological help rather than stringing up. What if it was you with that upbringing? Are you sure you would have turned out any better?

minging.

I wouldn't buy an Israeli bike.

"So we're on 8 weeks labour, for a skilled worker – what? £6k,say?"

I'm going to learn how to weld.

"I need to get some olive oil from Lidls. "

As I suggested above, goosefat would go much better with that potato, although I suppose it depends on what you are using it for.

And please whilst rubbing shoulders with the asylum seekers, try not to make any ethnicity related food type insults. They may not offer the same level of understanding and forgiveness that you may becoming accustomed to here on STW.

"So your inability to distinguish obvious bollox from vaguely correct statements,"

I do believe that you will find that the meaning was clearly implied and quite reasonable to assume. I thought it impolite to draw attention to your mistake.

Since you are around and in the mood to shed light on all manner of topics, perhaps some clarifiation of the link between your passport and fanatical Islam could be forthcoming?

"Obviously you are under the impression that only those who travel in the Name of Her Majesty, are able to pass freely without let or hindrance. The clue to this little conundrum is in the fact that it is called a "passport" and not, what would be much more correct English, "portpass". So despite the cunning dropping of the "e", it betrays the fact that passports are not a uniquely British consideration. Indeed much like the telephone, the sufficiency of the system works very much on the basis of "corresponding parallels". HTH "

All quite correct, and I thank you for the clarification.

I'm still puzzled however about what this has to do with Islam, fanaticism and benefit entitlements…and even after a goods night's sleep I still cannot decide whether my nieces are 50%(Anglo-Norman-Celt)Irish/ 50% NewZealander, or Chinese.

(so Ernie says)

"British passport holding friend!

Wrong on both counts. None of Her Britannic Majesty's passports have ever bore my name. And I don't one either. As soon as you are given a British passport, they take away all your social security handouts and free accommodation. Unless of course you're a Muslim. In which case, they carry on the the handouts on the grounds that you're not proper British. And if you're a fanatical Muslim, you get extra allowances on top. Apparently. "

(So I says, whilst eating a potato)

Crazytown!, as my white Australian friends would say.

So what do you do when you are going to foreign lands?

Please accept my most insincere apologies for everything, I didn't know you were Muslim.

Ok, no hard feelings my snail munching frog chewing British passport holding friend!

Anyway, are my neices Chinese? If they consider themselves Chinese, does that make them Chinese?

Ps, what did you do with that spud? I hope you used a bit of goosefat and made the most of it.

"Clearly your comment, "after being called a potato munching homosexualist" suggests that you find both homosexuals, and potato lovers, repulsive. "

I have no compunction in loving either potato enthusiasts, nor homosexuals.

I find it hard to accept potato related ethnic insults from a self avowed Britisher of French stock who would prefer to be hunting frogs with a net and bucket behind the toilet block of the local Labour party headquarters whilst avoiding the great conundrum of the 21st century, ie, "my neices, are they Chinese?", instead of doing something that a decent man would do with his time.

I apologise for the long sentence structure.

It's 750 years between us…I've suffered, personally, at least 329, and I'm a bit younger than you…

"homosexualist" – where was that bit then?

I made it up and in a free society that should be irrelevant. On repeated reading of Ernie's "potato outburst" in the context of my fellow Irishman TankSlapper and my good self,(being Irishmen who have between us suffered under at least 750 years of British oppression of all sorts) I think that as an ex-colonial my reading of his "Potato outburst" (as it shall from now be known) carries the same veracity as that of a Muslim from Pakistan abused by a police officer on the streets of Whitechapel, London, with an insult including a reference to curry. Or the same incident in Brixton, with fried chicken taking the place of Jerk chicken. And the fact that Ernie, although of foreign stock would consider himself "British" and therefore part of the British, the historical oppressor of my "Ethnicity" and is comfortable to use Racist slurs in the context of The Irish, well, that turns my stomach and makes me want to go back to university so I can learn to write articles in the Guardian about how bad it is.

what's the offence? I can't see any, especially after being called a potato munching homosexualist by Ernie, which is plain to all to observe in our exchange above.

RACIST ERNIE IN AVOIDING RACIST ACCUSATION SAYS TO A WEST INDIAN SOMETHING ABOUT RICE'N'PEAS AND JERK CHICKEN…AND A MUSLIM SOMETHING ABOUT CURRY.

"ernie_lynch

Didn't your dad tell you to eat all your veg Slapper …………..not even your potatoes ? "

"Jade Goody

Eat your **** popadoms Shilpa!"

Racist little Englander on STW, Quelle Surprise…

Go and eat some frogs Ernie.

Shak47, do you reckon if he smoked a bit more herb he could make a decent record after a 35 year break?

I would inform you that I would easily kick your head in, and post a place and time in which to do so, but the last time my friend did that he got banned for a year. A friend of his also got banned for 15 years recently for bawdy humour regarding unmentionable acts that ended up including our canine friends, so I've decided not to rise to invitations of that nature. Anyway, such behaviour is beneath me….

"soda I'm not talking musicality here I'm veering towards 'self serving git' as opposed to 'Messiah'"

I'm not interested in what anybody has to say on the matter, I'm just hoping to start a fight in the half hour before bedtime. I'm hoping Ernie will rise to my tired but effective "stable-dog=horse" metaphor, but if he doesn't, I'll enquire as to the whereabouts of your Irish passport you Orange bastard ;o)

My Anglo/Norman/Celt nieces were whelped in Hong Kong…does that make them Chinese?

I was born well after their stars declined and much prefer Kraftwerk, regardless of how important "The Beatles" teenage/maudlin mewlings are to Oasis fans.

"Why?"

He asked TS to marry him.

He's nice eyes but his arse looks a bit saggy.

"Surely no one is ever going to read all these posts about mudgaurds though?"

I read through the second page to make sure no-one was disagreeing with me.

I've been massaging my ego recently by acting the role of an anti bully ambassador for Ed Balls and his mates. It was all going so well until a bitch rang up Chris Moyles when we was chillin' and said my music was crap and I'm just a muppet with a silly hat and everybody heard it like and was laughing at me. I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident

I'm not sure.

My mum was born in Scotland.

If you care to give it some thought, it is absolute lunacy to be criminalising the way we are.

The fall is great.

Wristcutters[/url] is fantastic, don't be put off by the title.

Erasure at Belfast Ulster Hall 88 or 89 was my first ever show. I went as my elder sister was ill and she couldn't get a refund for the ticket. I went with her best friend, who happened to be the foxiest wench at our school at that time. We continued to "go out" for six months which was great for me and terribly annoying for the Gaelic football jocks in the year above me at school.

"sodafarls – put cork in bottle"

Make me Elaine. I know I'm right. I'm going to put a mudguard on the turbo trainer bike right now.

Maybe this is a rear mudguard point of contention not a mudguard issue, as surely those bespeckled folks should be allowed to ride bikes during the wetter months without stopping every few pedal strokes. If that is the case, and it's all about the rear mudguard, I'll suggest that the rufty tufty bollocks spouted by the rufty tufty types above should try avoiding the rufty tufty bollocks for a season, and bathe in the warm glow of dryness and lack of sexual attention from 45 year old mbuk readers who would rather perform cunnilingus on the ex-wife than de-rad their rig with something as old fashioned and practical as mudguards.

"You must be a pretty delicate little flower sodafarls"

You wouldn't believe it. I'm so short sighted and astigmatic that I wear spectacles in bed, the muscle mass on my calves has yet to overwhelm gravity and prevent inclement precipitation from flowing down my weedy calves into my sealskins, and my bike iz like so gay with mudguards (front and rear during winter months).

Anyway, I'll stop now incase I get banned for grooming.