Thanks for all the comments and support!
I guess the reason I posted on here was because it’s somewhere that I’m familiar with.
I didn’t expect my family to understand or try to help but they have.
I even got a visit from my younger sister and mum, who I haven’t seen in years. 🙂
Still battling with the council to try and get a roof over my head and I’m still worried about my future, but I feel better than I did before. I still get confused by things and am nervous in public, but I feel a lot less scared now and my opinion of the ex has completely changed now that I’m away from her.
I can’t believe that I put up with it for so long?!
Thanks once again for all the help STW 😀

I was arrested when I went to the police station to see why they needed to see me.
Even though I had bruises on my face and was obviously a mess, I had to sit for 6 hours in a cell.
I still haven’t been informed whether they’ve dealt with her yet?!
The officer that took my statement told me that he was about to take 6 days off, and nobody else took the case on while he was off.
Anyway, the main thing is that I’m out and all the relevant people have been informed of her behaviour. Once I have my own place, get my head straight and get a job, I’ll be on top of the world 😀

I’m back (for now). Been a real hectic time lately!
I got out on the Monday. Been sofa surfing for what seems like forever.
My head has been a real mess, one minute I feel good and stronger for leaving. The next minute I’m a nervous wreck.
I’ve been fobbed off from one person to the next, whilst trying to get help.
Waiting for an appointment to be confirmed with a mental health group. They work with you to help you get your self esteem back etc…
As far as I’m aware, the ex has yet to be arrested :-O 9 days and nothing!!!
Can’t wait for this period of my life to be over.
If the council help me and do what they’ve been suggesting, I’ll be put in a bed and breakfast out of Colchester.
Fingers crossed…

“Clearly you have family and friends to go to for help”.
I didn’t think I did until recently?
My sister has only been in contact with me over the past year. My friends have only just started coming out of the woodwork.

I’ve wanted to tell people on here way before now, but always backed out at the last minute through fear of being mocked or misunderstood.

Thanks for the help and support everyone. I’ll be back as soon as is possible.

Midnighthour, had the photo’s taken when I made the statement earlier.
I told them about everything, the kids, the abuse of people at her work and what she’s done to me.
Still hard for me to let go of what we had. Might sound a bit sick to some people, but I was with her for 19 months and it gradually got worse. We also had some good times.
Wish I could fast forward a few months.

Been a bit tearful for the last 20 minutes or so.
I never wanted this! I know I have to be strong and do what’s right, but that doesn’t make things any easier.
I think it’s the shock of it all kicking in?
Lots of people have been in touch with me, that’s helped. Doesn’t take the pain away though.
Roll on tomorrow…

Yup M5. Unless they are the newer Avid bolts? They have an M6 thread with an M5 head!

I’m in Colchester, and leaving all my stuff at a friends house. Might be able to stay there for 1 night too.
Typical that it’s bank holiday tomorrow, going to have to wait until Tuesday to see the council about getting a home.
My sister has said I can stay with her for a short while in Ipswich, as from Tuesday. Only problem being, getting to and from Colchester.
Hopefully won’t be too long until I can find a job too, and make new friends 🙂

🙂 No I’m not a dirt jumper, although I used to enjoy it.
This is my only bike now.

I’m exceptionally clean and tidy too, although my face still looks a bit worse for wear…

I only hope that her bragging about the attacks on the people that she cares for is lies or over-exaggeration.
I’ve been to the police and made the statement. The SS will be notified!
I’ve spoken to one of my neighbours too and he’s going to keep an ear open after I’ve left.
Whether it brings more turmoil or not, I’m sticking this out. Can’t just ignore what I know!
Time to get packing. Just need a new phone and internet connection.

Ok, I had a word with her last night. Told her that I’m leaving but didn’t say when.
She probably thinks that I’m bluffing, because I have said it before.
I also said that I can’t have the kids today because I’m going out.
She asked me what time and I said about 11ish. She told me it would have to be earlier as she leaves for work at 7:30. When I asked why I would have to leave earlier, she replied “because after the other night, the babysitter is scared of you”.
Scared of me? I was the one that came home first and asked the babysitter if she was home yet, told her that she was in a bad mood and had too much to drink. I also apologised to the babysitter when she left and saw her out of the door.
The babysitter is the daughter of a person that my gf works with. I’m wondering if they’re concocting a story to protect her?
It’s made me think twice before going in today and making a statement.
It needs to be done, but I don’t have the strength or energy to carry on if things go further.
She has abused the people that she cares for at work too 🙁 Told me of 2 incidences, squirting shampoo into the eyes of a resident that can’t speak and using a whole bottle of chilli sauce in another’s meal and laughing while they watch him eat it. It’s not just her though, there are a few of them that work there that do it!
Should I bring this up if I make a statement?

I think that’s why my heads a mess right now? Anticipating the move! Once I’m out of here, things should get easier.

Showerman, that’s partly why I stayed for so long and put up with it.
The kids are both great kids and although they have their problems, I love them to bits.
I really hope that they get looked after properly once I’m gone.

Do you think that moving far away is a good decision?
I have my own kids living in this town and see them regularly. I don’t drive either.
Moving to a different town scares me at the moment. Took me ages to get used to this one.
What’s people’s honest opinion on this?

The main reasons for pressing charges are; I feel that she’s done this before and nothing came of it. If I don’t do something about it now, it could carry on and someone else could fall victim to her.
Also, it might make her have a wake up call and change her ways.
My sister says that because the first phone call to the police was from her accusing me, it’ll stay on record and although no charges were made against me, it doesn’t look good.
If I press charges, people will know the truth and she’ll be dealt with accordingly.
I’m not doing this to punish her and tbh, if she hadn’t have phoned the police first, I probably would have let it go.
I spent 6 hours in a cell for something that I didn’t do, did a lot of thinking and came home to somebody that showed no emotion and no concern for how I felt or what had happened.
She’s already lost a lot of friends because of her temper.
I do think it’s a shame because I have seen her caring and loving side.
In a way, I feel like I’m doing the dirty on her.
I know it has to be done though!
I’m going to seek professional help myself after this is all sorted. I only hope she does the same…

At this moment in time, I don’t believe that the kids are at risk from physical harm by her.
The eldest (5 yr old) has been affected by what she has seen in the past.
When I first moved in with them, she was scared to be in the same room as me and would shout “Get out of my flat S****y” (which was her father’s name).
She would have major temper tantrums, throwing herself on the floor and kicking out wildly.
She has trouble speaking correctly and still soils her underwear almost everyday.
I’m no expert, but from what I’ve seen, I believe it to be related to some sort of past trauma.
I also asked the gf if she’s ever had SS involved and she said no.
Anytime she had a fight with their dad (or other people) and the police were called, she’d tell them that it happened away from the kids or that the kids weren’t there.
She knows how to play the system and has done it for too long.

Sounds stupid but I still love her! That’s how she’s been reeling me back in each time.
The violence has escalated to the point where I’m worried about what’ll happen next. It’s not just the physical violence though. Keeping me secluded and not permitting me to speak to other people. It all makes sense now. Like I mentioned before, I only wish I’d have spoken out earlier.
If it makes any difference, I also had a tough childhood. Some of the things I witnessed between my own parents were awful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anybody. Perhaps that’s why I tolerated this for so long?

I know that she loves her kids and she doesn’t hit them.
She does scream obscenities at them, and use threatening language towards them. I can also see that they are frightened of her, but quickly forgive her. It’s like they think it’s normal?
She tends to show her love towards them by buying them toys and sweets way too often, rather than show them affection.
One way or another, it’ll get sorted now. I hope she can pull herself together and become a better person.
I don’t like to disrupt other people’s lives or to cause problems but now it’s time to put myself first and to do what I think is the right thing.

Somebody needs to be involved! Her own parents don’t give a toss what goes on, and aren’t particularly concerned for the kids well-being.
I tried to get her to go see a counsellor before and eventually she agreed but did nothing about it.
I wish something could have been sorted before all of this, but it wasn’t and now I’m doing what I think is best for myself and the kids, and of course, my soon to be ex.
Just got to hang it out for tonight.
It’s making things harder by me being here with the kids at the moment. All I want is to get away. I want to cry too, but have to hold it in.
Hurry up Monday…

I’ve been in contact with the police. Going to make a statement tomorrow (while she’s at work) and moving out on Monday. I’m going to ask the police not to arrest her until Monday, so that I can be out of the way when she returns home.
I’m shaking and scared sh*tless of what the future will bring, but know that it’s a step in the right direction.
Don’t know how much longer I would’ve carried on with all this if it wasn’t for my sister stepping in?
Looking back, I wish I’d have said something sooner.
I felt as if I couldn’t do anything, and was in some way imprisoned.
I never felt like social services should be involved because I’ve always been here to protect the kids. Once I’ve left, I’m going to inform them.
The kids father was apparently a nutter, who’s only interest was to get drunk and take drugs.He moved away and is currently in a mental home where he’s getting help.
How much is true and how much of it is exaggerated? I don’t know?
I have spoken to her parents and they blame her temperament on her past boyfriends and the way she was treated. Then again, they told me not to go to the police when I heard they were looking for me. Probably because they saw the state of my face and knew she’d get into trouble.
It’s all so surreal at the moment. Hopefully won’t be too long until I’m back on my feet again?
Thanks people…

Yep, my sister told me because it was my partner that made the call and I was arrested, it’ll look bad on me if I don’t press charges.

She has never hit her kids, BUT she does say some very nasty things to them. Usual one is, I’ll smash your face in if you don’t f**ing do as your told.
The C word is used frequently too. Not good considering they are 5 and 2.
I feel like I’ve been the one protecting them. Now I’m left with no choice and I hope the rest of her family will be understanding?!
I know I’m going to be made to look like the trouble maker.
I hate this sort of stuff and never would’ve believed that I’d end up in this situation.
Thanks for all the comments and support…

I know they’re not my kids but having done everything for them for so long, they feel like my own. I have my own daughters come and stay weekends and they all get on great, so it’s going to be hard for them too.
I have made my mind up to leave… I need to even if I’m unsure whether I really want to, if that makes sense?
People have been telling me to get out for quite a while, but I thought I could handle the situation. Having been on the recieving end of her temper yet again, and having sustained quite a few injuries, I know it’s for the best.
I only hope her kids can forgive me and hope that they will understand in the future 🙁
My next step is to find somewhere to go, and find somewhere to store my stuff. Because I have no job or income, I’m worried sick tbh.

I can’t believe that my partner has said nothing about any of this since I returned from the police station last night. Woke up this morning to find she’d gone to work and left the kids here with me :-O

I’m waiting on a call from the domestic abuse support team… Fingers crossed they can help me sort my life out.

Plastic protector won’t make any difference!
What make was the old cassette? What make is the wheel / freehub, that you’re trying to fit the new cassette to?
If you’re doing it correctly, it should fit with no probs…

Motor re-spray shop? Sandblaster will have the paint off in no time!

What do you call a Scotsman who can’t climb trees?
Nicholas.

Lol @ philconsequence.
The trailer with proper seat attached sounds like the best option to me.

Get an implant. The process may take a while longer, but it’s worth it in the long run.
I’ve never had a problem with my two, and they can bite through anything that my normal teeth can (unlike the caps that I had fitted before).
Well worth the money IMO.

I’ve straightened 2 mech hangers before now and they’re both holding up ok. It depends on how badly it’s been bent.
Probably best to try and source a spare one, sooner rather than later…

Try the cable first. Next thing I’d try is the B-screw.
The B-screw controls the derailleur body angle, hence the name, B-screw. Shift to the innermost rear cog, which is the largest cog. View the upper pulley relative to the largest cog. If the pulley is rubbing against this cog, tighten the B-screw to increase upper pivot spring tension, which pulls the pulley back and away from the cog.

If either of the above don’t solve your problem, it could be that the mech hanger is bent?

Yup. I’ve got 2 crowns where my front teeth used to be. Knocked them out when I was a kid!
You get the added bonus of having titanium spikes holding them in place 😉

Nice, clean and simple looks.
Don’t get a white saddle, they don’t stay white for long.
Just out of curiosity, what saddle is that?

PMSL

Looky here!

This might help?!

LBS!!!

Got these going spare if you’d like them?
Give me your address and I’ll pop them in the post.

🙂

Maybe try another spacer on the drive side? Don’t know if this is possible, but if it is, it’s what I’d try first!
Changing the chain would probably only lose 1mm or under from the width of the chain.

Thought there might be one on the other side of the forks? What do I know? Just trying to help.

Hmmmm, it seems that I’m the only person that thinks this bike is cool?!!
Do I need professional help?

What type of screw is it? Can you not just measure it and go to your local hardware store?