Think I have shared this before but both involve drink and ladies.
I was introduced to and started talking with a girl that had her tongue pierced (circa 2001). Noticing the lisp
Me: when did you get your tongue pierced?
Her: About a year ago…
Me: You wanna get your effing money back if you’re still speaking like that!
Her: This is how I normally speak.
Me:…..
It wasn’t all bad. She started seeing my housemate and left him to became a lesbian.
Being introduced to another lady in a noisy nightclub and being totally lashed (circa 1999):
Me: Whats your name?
Erm: Em
Me: Erm? Thats a stupid name for a girl. Who on earth would name their daughter Erm?
Erm: No, it’s Em, short for Emma…
Me: well what didn’t you say…
I had to leave the club shortly afterwards. Cheap booze had caught up with me!